Cleveland - Saturday, July 22
Jerry "The King" Lawler throws out the first pitch. I don't know about you, but I couldn't think of a better way to start a trip of this nature. Travis Hafner then proceeds to pummel Lawler with a 2x4 behind the mound. The Tribe destroy the Twins 11-0, which is pretty amazing given that it's Minnesota's only loss in their last 13 games. Up and coming rookie Jeremy "Golden" Sowers gets the W for Cleveland and hunky Grady Sizemore (huh?) leads the offensive attack. Dennis informs me via text he's downed a sausage (presumably not Michael's) and 4 beers by the 2nd inning. The boys end the night perusing the "Ladies of Rock" exhibit at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Cincinnati - Sunday, July 23Dennis and Michael hit the Queen City next, with "Mill-e-wah-que" in town. The Reds manage to lose to Tomo Ohka ("What's he, like 45? I could hit him") and the Brew Crew 4-1. However, in a strange twist of fate, Dennis gets to see GTB fav Danny Knob return to his role as Brewers closer...with Derrick Turnbow immediately being sent down to Fraggle Rock. The fellas finish the night downing brews with two local DJs who go by the names Dr. Johnny Fever and Venus Fly Trap.
Chicago (White Sox) - Monday, July 25 (I think...could've been Tuesday's game)
Michael informs me via text they have seats right behind the
White Sox bullpen. I inform Michael he needs to immediately start tossing pieces of hot dog at the svelte Bobby Jenks. I guess it doesn't matter whether they were at Monday or Tuesday's game, because Chicago managed to blow both of them, and is in complete freefall right now. The impending Ozzie Guillen explosion is going to be AWESOME. Lance Bass better watch out. After being overserved, Dennis and Michael storm the field, perform the "Dance of Joy" in CF (much to Jermaine Dye's delight), and manage to escape before security can treat them like the second coming of the esteemed Ligue Dynasty.
Milwaukee - Wednesday, July 26Pittsburgh, an unbelievable 12-40 on the road coming in, manages to beat Chris Capuano and the Brewers 8-4 (Jason Bay, who is fucking awesome, leads the way for the Pirates). Dennis manages to punch Bud Selig in the face. Somehow during the game the boys run into friends of a guy we once knew, "Noonan", otherwise known as Joyner's gay lover. I will definitely need alot more than a three word text message to explain that one. Much to the chagrin of Dennis' wife, the boys end the evening on a double-date at Pizza Bowl with two chicks from the bottling plant down the street.
I have no clue what the next game on the slate is...it might be Cubs/Cards today...all I know is I'm jealous...
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I've added one more link to the blog roll. Check out the guys at Kissing Suzy Kolber...it's good stuff.
Nats going for 6 in a row right now...Soriano and Zimmerman have gone yard. 3-3 in the top of the 6th.
Okay...I had to go through this...
In pic 1, Swint is Drew Carey...in pic two, Swint is Gordon Jump...in pick three, he's Mark Linn-Baker, in pic 4, in a mild upset, he's Michael McKean.
Vinner...you can pick up your Khalil Greene bobblehead anytime you want.
Swint as Gordon Jump is even funnier given Jump's infamous "Diff'rent Strokes " episode.
Koosin Lahhrry always makes me giggle.
if the bobblehead folks couldn't get brian roberts' race right, is there any chance they correctly produce the khalil greene 'head?
Well, of course not, don't be ridi-cool-us...
Is it just me, or does Greg LeMond seem to hate all other American cyclists?
Fuck the Cubs and their (apparently) Gold Golve littered defense...Sorry, I had to get that out this morning.
That Neifi play to end the game was pretty damn sweet...oh wait, you were saying?
Now THIS is funny
Fuck Niefi. When he and Cedeno combined for the force in the eighth I knew it was over. I also could've murdered Jacque fucking Jones for the backpedaling snare he made on Albert.
Wow. That WAS Funny. I especially like the female reporter trying to cover her ass by making it clear she was in NO WAY involved in the prank. Get over bitch.
Holy wow - did you know the Twins are 50-0 when leading after eight innings?
i hate that stat. nobody's worse than 95% when leading after 8 innings. dumb damn stat.
and by 95%, i mean everybody wins most of the time when they lead after 8 innings. except, apparently, the jelly-spined texas rangers.
And Royals...and Cubs I bet...all that stat means is you have a money closer (as opposed to Ryan Dempster). But when it's an even 50-0 I still like it...
Does the 34-8 record in their last 42 games impress you?
even numbers are neat.
and, yes, 34-8 is pretty damn skippy. did you catch the bbtn stat last night - only 1 team in history has had a 34-8 or better streak during a season and failed to make the playoffs.
Yep...last year's Oakland Athletics. Does that stop the Billy Beane fellation? Nope...
That would be fellatio...not sure what fellation means.
I strongly suggest everyone jump over to Kissing Suzy Kolber and check out today's hijinx...Peter King is gonna be bummed out.
TJ,
Don't try and act like you don't know what fellation means. Seriously, you went to W&M for chrissakes!
i think it has something to do with the tour de france.
and i'm really glad i have daughters. jesus christmas.
did anyone see peter king's fantasy football advice in last week's sports illy? man, do i wish i was in his fantasy league.
Didn't Peter King say that Danny Wuerffel would throw for 30 TDs under Spurrier? (In the NFL).
indeed, he did. that alone probably makes his daughter fair game. or at least is grounds for termination.
Indeed. In (semi)related news, Chris Leak predicted he'd throw for 50 TDs (one more than Wuerffel's UF record)at SEC MEdia Days.
Leak is currently being beaten with Urban Meyer's belt.
Do we all watch too much Deadwood?
Indeed.
Leak actually said that? I'd like some of what he's smoking.
Yeah. He was asked how many he'd throw this year and quickly responded with 50. He then backpedaled by saying something about having goals for each yer and it being one of his individual goals, though the team goals were really what mattered. Too little, too late as far for Urban I'm sure.
They call it Gainesville Green.
I am pre-ordering NOW...you have two months to make me a happy camper.
By the way, the Tigers just traded for Sean Casey and demoted Chris Shelton to AAA. Quite a fall for Sloth...
Your Boy Chris Shelton just got demoted.
Consider it done. Damn you for beating me to the punch on Shelton...
What did Brad Lidge do to him?
The Houston Chronicle's Richard Justice reports that Astros owner Drayton McLane has ordered GM Tim Purpura to trade Brad Lidge.
sucked ass for the better part of the season and most of the 2005 NLDS, for starters.
also, he is reported to have donkey-punched mclane's wife.
Rob, enjoy Kip Wells...
Sure, he seems to be a bit of a head case, but I've got Brad Lidge for 23 saves, 4 blown saves, and 67 Ks in 48 innings. Yes, his ERA is a ghastly 5.77, but the guy is still good. Especially when you look at the litany of donkeys allowed to close in MLB...
Did you know...
Howie Kendrick is black?
Andre Ethier and James Loney are white?
Chase Utley is at 32 games now, and now that he's been mentioned at GTB, the streak is surely over.
what did the sox give up to get wells?
and the kendrick thing floored me when i watched the sox/angels series this weekend. i'm still confused.
Oh well, Kippy goes to the Rangers...and Maddux to the Dodgers...and Pirates GM Dave Littlefield must be trying to get fired.
nice reporting, buster.
Are you telling me Jim Bowden held onto Soriano? I find that awfully hard to believe...
yanks got craig wilson. shame his hair didn't come with him.
and, they punted shawn chacon's corpse in the deal - that's pretty good gee-emming by cashman.
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