"In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team."Bob Huggins (Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith) - Couldn't find the BAC, so let's try this instead: "Slurred speech. Watery eyes. Staggered from car. Didn't complete a Breathalyzer. Failed field sobriety tests. Vomit on the driver's side door." That my friends is leadership defined..much like George Peppard as Hannibal, Huggy is a true leader of men and a role model (just ask protege assistant Keith LeGree). Both master tacticians, Coach Huggins is also know to do his best work while "on the jazz", and he was often heard telling Nickie Van Poo Poo after games "I love it when a plan comes together." His wacky plans are sure to work at Kansas State (and the disguises will come in handy when they go 6-20), especially his affinity for the pincer movement. Watch out Big 12! Hell, I even think Hannibal's fashion sense fits Huggins perfectly.
Eddie Sutton (Captain "Howlin' Mad" Murdock) - 0.22 BAC, three times the legal limit. Well done sir. Much like Murdock, I consider Coach Sutton simply crazy...I mean, the guy was having envelopes full of cash delivered to recruits. However, there is that part of me that wonders if Sutton, like Dwight Schultz, just has us all played for fools. Is he a 69 year old drunk head coach, or a sober genius pretending to be drunk so he didn't have to coach basketball black hole JamesOn Curry? (look at the name! come on!) And much like Murdock's renowned flying ability, Sutton can operate any and all vehicles while three sheets to the wind. It's well-documented.
JJ Redick (Lieutenant Templeton "Face" Peck) - 0.11 BAC. JJ Redick? Seriously, wow. Redick apparently found time away from pole smoking and poem writing to throw back a few Tecatas and blow that 0.11. Face was the A-Team's pretty boy...and always the worst in the fight sequences. Great with the ladies, terrible pansy otherwise. Sounds like JJ to me. Christ, even George Peppard was kicking more ass. You know what, Dirk Benedict should be upset about this...Redick is doing his character a disservice (well, that is until JJ pulls a bigger con than Face ever imagined - getting some stupid NBA GM to make him a lottery pick).
Chris Henry (Sergeant Bosco "B.A." Baracus) - 0.09 BAC. Not too shabby, but then let's tack on the gun charge, the weed charge and the latest efforts to out-Vick Marcus Vick (all in the last 7 months I believe). Perhaps he should've invited JJ over to urinate on the ladies? Bad Attitude seems way too kind of a nickname for this kid. Rumor was Marvin Lewis had to sedate him before team flights ("I die before I fly")...or was the rumor that he perhaps self-medicated with Chaz and T.J. Housh prior to flying? Moving on...Henry can often be overheard calling Sutton "a crazy fool."
Bonus Associates:
Erin Lashnits (aka the chick who played the Stanford Tree) (Amy Allen) - 0.15 BAC. Young Ms. Lashnits will play the role of Amy Allen, the newspaper reporter that followed the A-Team around (annoyingly) in Seasons 1 and 2 (I know, a little too geeky there...even geekier? She worked for the L.A. Courier). Erin impressed casting directors with her ability to be tossed from a Stanford basketball game for
being hammered, all while wearing the big, goofy tree mascot outfit.Esteban Loaiza (Frankie "Dishpan" Santana) - I couldn't find the BAC, but 120 mph at 3:30 in the morning? Yep. Definitely shitfaced. A late edition to this contrived post, Loaiza doesn't really belong, but then again, neither did Dishpan Santana. He was tacked on as the "fifth" A-Team member in Season 5, and he never really managed to fit in. In fact, let's pretend this never happened (much like Billy Beane wishes he never dropped $21 mil on Loaiza).
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Surreal Life 8 is really reaching...
The rumored cast for the upcoming season of the show is said to include famed wrestler Randy "Macho Man" Savage, Playboy Playmate Tina Jordan, adult film actress Mary Carey, John Travolta's nephew Rikki Lee Travolta, professional poker player Phil Hellmuth, rock musician Peter Steel, and Rev. Al Sharpton.
First off, I thought Randy Savage had to be dead by now.
Second, I come here expecting to see a well thought out post about the A-Team and instead get this drivel comparing my childhood heroes to a pack of drunkards. Methinks I'm so upset I shan't come back, til tomorrow probably.
Meanwhile, Triple A (geekier still knowing the nickname) was about useless but probably less so than Frankie. It seems like he was a magician or some such shit. Or possibly I'm making that up to make it even easier to forget he existed.
I'm pretty sure Frankie was a special effects expert. And there is no doubt in my mind the "real" A-Team was a bunch of alcoholics.
Now we're talking...
Former teen heartthrobs Corey Feldman and Corey Haim have teamed with RDF USA ("Wife Swap") on "The Coreys," a hybrid improv comedy that would center on fictional versions of themselves a la "Curb Your Enthusiasm."
"The Coreys" picks up with Feldman living the comfortable suburban life with his wife Suzie and son, until circumstances bring his old pal Haim back into the picture. Episodes would follow Haim -- single and the total opposite of Feldman -- as he shakes life up for the Feldmans.
Special effects it was, I guess I demoted him to simple trickeration to even further degrade him in my mind. And I would agree, The A Team probably were drunks, except for perhaps Murdock, he might have been straight crazy without a drop.
I see Hannibal as a cheap scotch man to go with his foot long cigars. Face probably did stick with Zima and mild vodka drinks.
As far as the Corey's getting back together, I thought Blown Away was the last great hurrah for that, but I guess good things do happen.
And B.A drank Colt 45 40ozs exclusively.
I haven't yet seen it, but please tell me the media has already hyped the USA-Ghana match as "Judgment at Nuremberg."
Welcome back sir...welcome back...
Well, the US is getting jobbed again by the refs. This time an iffy whistle in the box leads to a penalty kick score for Ghana.
I blame George W. Bush.
I blame Ghanan (?, Ghanian?) President John Kufuor.
I guess that's why I only watch soccer once every 4 years, the whole strikes me as feeling rigged. That being said we played like asshats and lost to a bunch of guys who don't even know what a microwave is.
And Wynalda just called out Bruce Arena. As little as I know about soccer, I agree.
All we had to do was beat fucking Ghana...god damn it...
There is absolutely no doubt in my mind Russ Ortiz is one of the guys Jason Grimsley threw under the bus.
And seriously, Ghana? We lost to fucking Ghana?
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