Why not today?

It’s Wednesday, so why not the GTB Weekly Wiz Watch (I'm a big fan of alliteration)...

Washington Wizards, 3-0
1st in the Southeast Division
2nd in the Eastern Conference
#1 in our hearts

The Wiz have opened the season strong, albeit against weak competition, with wins at Toronto (99-96) and New York (86-75), and a home victory against Orlando 87-79. As Geoff mentioned yesterday, they're 3-0 for the first time since they won a title (and as Slater just mentioned in an email, a win tonight would be the first 4-0 start for the Chocolate City franchise since 1977…and no, I’m not fact checking their work). The Wiz have three crappy teams in their division (and one 800 lb. gorilla in Miami) and have to continue to win these types of games against the NBA’s dregs to have any chance at a top-4 finish and homecourt in the playoffs (that’s right Whitney, we can start the playoff talk right now…and just keep it going until I am 24 Coors Light richer).

Antawn Jamison and Gilbert Arenas have been the stars for the Wiz in Games 1-3 (as expected), Jamison scoring 29 against the hapless Raptors and Arenas dropping 27 and 30 against NY and Orlando, respectively. My boy Brendan Haywood had 14 boards against Toronto, and Michael Ruffin (5 boards a game) and Jared Jeffries have also been solid contributors on the glass in the early going (Jamison is averaging almost 10 boards a game, impressive for a guy with a creaky knee). Newcomer Antonio Daniels still needs to figure out how he best fits into this team, but the 5 assists a game are a good start (hopefully his ankle is fine too). Calvin Booth is still a huge donkey.

***Just a few words on the first three opponents…
The Toronto Raptors are already 0-4 and are atrocious. Rookie Charlie Villanueva looks like a 6’8” mochachino “Powder”, the Raptors start the druglord from Miami Vice in Jose Calderon, and their star player, Chris Bosh, still looks like he might break in half from a stiff breeze. Their GM is a laughingstock, and their veteran “leader” is Jalen Rose. That about covers it…these clowns are winning 15 games max.

Ah yes, how could we forget lovable Larry Brown moving on to his dream job in NY. The Knicks also happen to be winless as of this post, and Brown is already trying to move Jamal Crawford (OK, I have no proof of that, but I’m betting Peter Vescey already has a few fictional deals in place for Crawford). They traded Michael Sweetney, who I’m pretty sure can be a contributor in this league if someone would ever give him the minutes, for Eddy Curry, who Swint affectionately called “Hank Gathers” a few weeks back. Larry hates young guys, yet the best players on this team are probably Stockard Channing Frye, David Lee and (I can’t believe I’m going to type this) Trevor Ariza. This might play out very poorly for Larry.

The Orlando Magic. Hmmm, let’s see – the guy they drafted, Fran Vazquez, refused to play with them, instead staying in Spain. Dwight Howard is a legit beast, but he’s surrounded by Stevie Migraine, Hedo Turkoglu and Kelvin Cato. Grant Hill, in the most shocking announcement of the year, is hurt again. I can’t even tell you who their coach is (wow, Brian Hill…never would’ve guessed it). HOWEVAH, I will say they’re better than NY or Toronto. So Coach Hill has that going for him.

****
Now, defensively, the Wiz have held two of three opponents below 80 points (understanding that, yes, these teams are poop). All three opponents shot less than 40% from the floor. Excellent. That said, giving up 96 to the very questionable Toronto team on the road is disconcerting, but it’s not like Washington will ever be a defensive juggernaut. Just keep outscoring the competition…a system Gilbert is certainly happy with.

What the Wiz be saying…not only is he my breakout guy of the year, Mr. Haywood is apparently the team comic:
“We've even got Gilbert Arenas playing some defense this year."
Well, I don’t know about that…Gilbert is as allergic to defense as I am to Tide laundry detergent.

Tonight, the Wiz continue their four game homestand against the 3-1 L.A. Clippers (good seats might still be available…) Seattle and San Antonio stop by Dream, H2O, and the MCI Center over the weekend. I’m thinking the Wiz take 2 of 3 (losing to Timmy Afro) and come next week we will be discussing the surging 5-1 Washington Wizards (actually, as long as the Skins stay in the playoff hunt, NOBODY is talking about the Wiz. Except Slater I guess. And GTB.)

LUNCH UPDATE: I was working on this in the morning (I know, shocking), but didn't get it wrapped up before I had my nice 6 month lunch with HR (I guess checking to make sure I don't want to jump off the roof or something...I don't, in case you cared). Well, long story short, we're eating at Bistro Bis, about a block away from my work, and in walk Hulk Hogan and Virgial...OK, not really, but Chris Kaman and Chris Wilcox strolled by the table, and those are two very tall, VERY ugly dudes (looks like the Clippers are staying at the Hotel George if anyone wants to play that Junkies game of "Bother the Pro"...202-347-4200, ask for Mr. Rebraca, I'm betting he doesn't use an alias). Alas, before I could chat up said Clippers, the two disappeared into a very private back room for their pommes frittes. And SG wasn't exaggerating...Kaman is a dead ringer for the Hulkster right now.