Ryan Atwood, Fluffer

OK, so I was in San Francisco for work last week, and finally got back Monday night. I’ve been tired all week, and though we just spent a week out of the office, the “boss” types in the office decided to stick a bunch of TPS Reports on my desk for my return. Needless to say, I haven’t crafted anything much better than a comment or two since I’ve been back. HOWEVAH, a delicious turkey sandwich and several cups of afternoon coffee have me raring to go…

Thanks to some solid advice from Hot Action “House Ninja” MJ I flew jetBlue from Dulles to Oakland…and man was it worth it. The claims of more legroom might be a tad exaggerated (or I just might be a long legged ogre), but none of it matters because of the DIRECTV in the back of each seat. Five hours in a plane have never seemed shorter. There was no stopping the channel flipping…all the ESPNs (the Don Larsen SportsCentury was pretty good; even 30 seconds of “Rome Is Burning” is bad for your health), VH1 (caught several “I Love The 80s: 3D” episodes – let’s just say they could’ve stopped at “I Love The 80s Strikes Back”), VH1 Classic (the Eddy Grant “Electric Avenue” video and Billy Ocean’s “Get Outta My Dreams…And Into My Car” being my favs), the Food Network (a great show on candy hosted by that dude from DoubleDare), a “Top 100 Scariest Movie Moments” marathon on Bravo and “Nightmare on Elm Street” in it’s entirety after that marathon (Johnny Depp is dreamy). One of the better flying experiences of my life…I did want to point out though that the Oakland airport is a complete shithole, and after driving past Oakland’s downtown, the airport seems to properly reflect the general aesthetic appeal of Oaktown.

I was generally confined to an area of San Fran that houses the large Moscone Convention Center where our conference was held (down by Union Square for those of you that know the town). Lots of hotels, shops (both boutique and chain), restaurants and of course bars. Working 12 hour days schmoozing with 30,000 realtors didn’t leave a lot of time (or energy) for exploring the city, but I did manage to eat a good dinner in the Pacific Heights area (see that movie if you haven’t - a very good and underrated psychological thriller) and hit up some bar called Asia SF…which, aside from having a crowded dance club downstairs blaring Nelly and 50 Cent, had a “Coyote Ugly”-esque drag show at the upstairs bar. Now, it might’ve been Halloween weekend, but I got the felling San Fran parties this way all year long. I managed to take down several beers at a safe distance from all the Buffalo Bills at the bar (the scary “Silence of the Lambs” Bills, not J.P. Losman and Nate Clements). I love when girls bitch and moan about drag queens - “Look at that…I wish I had an ass like that” – Ladies, it’s a dude, let it go. One of the Chicago IT guys just sent pictures of a large gathering at the W Hotel one night, and let’s just say everyone looked like they had a GREAT time. One other thing about San Fran that needs to be examined (I’m not going where you think I’m going)…

What is the deal with the homeless? I mean, Jesus Christ, you have got to be kidding me. This is the most aggressive and crazy group of homeless people I have ever encountered. “No” apparently means “Please follow me for blocks and perhaps even try to pickpocket me in broad daylight”. It’s like they shipped in 1,000 homeless Carl Everetts. Now, maybe it was the area I was staying in, but in talking to folks throughout the week, it seems ALL of the homeless in San Fran behave like this. It was a tad unsettling walking three blocks at dusk…and I’m a pretty large (re: fat) guy. I can only imagine how the ladies felt. Take the time today to thank your DC/MD/VA homeless for not being like the group in SF. Then run like hell from them before they touch you.

(Whitney, you might as well head to the Dubliner now…this paragraph does not apply to you at all) As the subject line indicates, the MLB Playoffs are over, and that means a return to normalcy for FOX Primetime broadcasting (Question – Which show gets cancelled first, “Bones” or “Killer Instinct”?). The O.C. and Reunion were back on the air last night, and as SportsGuy pointed out awhile back, the O.C really knows how to burn through storylines. I thought last night’s episode was pretty good, but it was almost ridiculous that in the last 15 minutes: Seth and Summer managed to bust Taylor, Sandy subsequently busted the Dean, Marisa and Ryan had an emotional good-bye AND Marisa and Ryan had an emotional reunion. I wouldn’t have minded if it took another episode…slow down fellas…we’re still gonna watch. As for Reunion, I’ve been with it since Episode 1, mainly because I thought the premise had promise (huh?). Memo to the people behind Reunion: I’m going to need some better scripts in upcoming weeks, or I will never make it to the exciting 2005 conclusion. I saw better emotion and chemistry between characters in the last Star Wars flick…and it’s not necessary to make every episode have some over-the-top twist, just weave a tale that keeps me glued to the TV in the hour following the O.C. That’s all Fox suits want, that’s all I want.

Now, I’ve got to go “prepare” for tomorrow’s Homecoming II…Whit, practice beers at the Dubliner/Times?

Obligatory image file...these girls are looking might fine...