Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Cagers, Wagers, Lagers

With this site being named what it is, there should really be more Bullets / Wizards content here. And there will be. Of course, I'm no longer the guy to bring it to you, what with me tendering my cancellation notice for season tickets after Season #1 of the "Washington Wizards" era.

TJ provided the initial outlook for the Wiz in '05-'06, but my NBA-appreciative colleague here at the Bureaucracy told me today the Wizards would "suck," and might even "suck bad." This is a shame for b-ball fans who enjoyed the rare taste of success last year, but it makes my bet with Monsignor Simspon look promising. Last year I sourly provided him with 24 Coors Lights after the 'zards made the playoffs. I'd be getting excited about my imminent case of Schlitz were there not 24 Pabsts in unpaid debt already. I'm not calling TJ a welcher by any means, though perhaps something that rhymes with welcher.

So basically this post has no other point in publicly assaulting Tajikistan Simspon for being only mildly tardy (1 month) on my beer. I could just as easily target Rob "The Original Gheorghe" Russell for the three cases he owes me, and unless he wants me to dredge up the why, I'd better be hearing the familiar melody of the neighborhood beer truck soon. But it's more fun to hassle TJ.

Anyway, I'll leave you with an NBA thought that's bound to make you think:

What ever happened to Jim McIlvaine?

30 comments:

Geoff said...

I think the Wiz will make the playoffs for a second year in a row. Larry Hughes for Caron Butler is a significant drop off, but it is in some way made up for with the improved depth of Anotnio Daniels and Chucky Atkins for Steve Blake and Juan Dixon. If Jarvis Hayes can step it up (and stay healthy) and Jared Jeffries can conitune his improvement, I think they can win between 43-48 games.

T.J. said...

The PBR will be a Norfolk housewarming gift (and let's point out I got my Coors Light 2-3 months after the Wiz had clinched their playoof berth). As to Big Jim, he is the color guy for Marquette men's hoops.

T.J. said...

That would be playoff berth, not playoof berth.

T.J. said...

Now this is dedication...
http://www.weiswatchers.com/

T.J. said...

ODDS TO WIN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP

San Antonio 9-5
Miami 11-4
Detroit 10-1
Indiana 10-1
Houston 15-1
Phoenix 16-1
Dallas 20-1
Denver 22-1
Cleveland 25-1
Sacramento 30-1
New Jersey 33-1
Minnesota 40-1
Chicago 45-1
LA Lakers 50-1
Seattle 50-1
Golden State 50-1
Philadelphia 60-1
Memphis 60-1
Washington 60-1
New York 66-1
Boston 66-1
LA Clippers 66-1
Orlando 100-1
Milwaukee 100-1
Utah 100-1
Portland 200-1
Toronto 250-1
New Orleans 300-1
Atlanta 300-1
Charlotte 350-1

T.J. said...

ESPN.com's Page 3 is dead...man I miss it so much.

T.J. said...

The steroids obviously paid off:

Matt Lawton, Roid Lover...hit a combined .254 with 13 homers and 53 RBI this season for the Pittsburgh Pirates, Cubs and Yankees.

Whitney said...

TJ, nothing to say about the stirring Wizards' win in Toronto last night?

I caught the 4th quarter, and it was hideous. Offensive fouls and turnovers galore, and the teams shot a combined 28% from the floor the whole quarter. Slop-sloppy basketball. I became a battle of who wanted to lose just a wee bit less. Not a pretty start for the Wiz, but chalk one up for Taj in the quest for subpar suds.

T.J. said...

Did you see my boy Haywood take that charge? Plus he had 14 boards, 10 points, 2 steals and a block. The Wiz might want to tighten up the D a bit - giving up 96 to a hapless Raptors team is piss poor.

The real highlight has to be the addition of "the original Wizard" (as Comcast kept calling him) Walt Williams to the post-game coverage.

Jane D. said...

C'mon guys - how about a post here today. Do you need a topic? Help a girl out here - I have a hangover and work to avoid, here. I am about to resort ot taking online personality tests.

Jane D. said...

resort to...

T.J. said...

Send those tests over this way too...

T.J. said...

Chocolate City Pride...

WASHINGTON -- The Metropolitan Police Department is investigating an early-morning fight that supposedly started over a burrito.

Police said a man inside the store didn't have enough money to pay for his burrito and left the store to get more. While he was outside, another of the store's patrons decided to buy that burrito.

News4 talked to that patron, who didn't want to be identified. He said when the man came back into the store, he became livid that someone had bought his burrito and the fight escalated from there.

Police said the fight then spilled outside the store and at some point, the girlfriend of the original purchaser opened a car door and released a 75- to 80-pound pit bull, which bit three men, including an innocent bystander.

Whitney said...

To the woman who unleashed the pit bull: you friggin' coward. It's people like you that keep females confined to cloaked insults like "the fairer sex" when chauvinists mean "the weaker sex." Take a lesson: David Patrick Zlynn (named changed to protect the guilty) stands 6'3" and tips 'em at 290 lbs, with hands like cannonballs, balls like canteloupes, and a thirst for ass-whippin' that's exceeded only by that for fermented beverages. When he was beating the living hell out of some idiot on the South Side of Chicago a few years back, the bastard's girlfriend came right up to Zlynn and socked him in the nose, bringing tears to the big fellow's eyes. It was right out of "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown," except that it was true and it was a female who finally took the bad man down. THAT girl was a heroine, even though she eventually proved to be a villain by sending innocent men to jail. This girl? She shows me nothing.

Mark said...

Did someboday say heroin? Mmmmmm.

Jane D. said...

I took a couple tests (The Snob Test and The Libido Test)- links and results are over at MLT.

T.J. said...

Perhaps Whitney and I can provide something for you to read today...in the meantime, google the Bobby Brown/Mike Tyson duet of Monster Mash on Jimmy Kimmel and watch it once or twice. It will make your day. Perhaps your year.

T.J. said...

No reason for you to do the work...
http://abc.go.com/fsp/index.html?channel=JimmyKimmelLive

Geoff said...

This blog sucks. I want my money back.

T.J. said...

Sir, there will be no refunds after the show starts...ok, one thing I wanted to mention this morning:

Nothing, and I mean nothing, gets me more fired up on a Friday morning than Russ Parr's Wrong Songs. The back-to-back of Kriss Kross' "Jump" and Onyx's "Slam" this morning made my 9 minute drive to work complete. They even threw in a big "CLEEEEEEEEEVVVVEEEELAND" for good measure. Russ Parr's 30 golden minutes of radio, playing the suburban hip hop Shaker High knew and loved (though, to be fair, plenty of other good stuff involved as well, including some NWA this morning)

Geoff said...

Piffle.

T.J. said...

Don't hate on Wrong Songs, or the folks who love it...

Work has a Wiz ticket raffle, and I'm pretty sure no one even enters, but still I'm 0-5 on winning tix. These people don't care about Brendan Haywood the way I do damn it...

Whitney said...

Geoff, don't bring your negativity here. This is a positive zone, full of positivity (and gravitivity and polarity). Just take TJ Doyle for example. Every test he's ever taken has come back positive.

T.J. said...

What are you, Shecky Greene? This is the most trustigious website in the world.

Geoff said...

Filth, flarn, filth.

Mark said...

I've just gotten myself back into reading this blog on a regualr basis again and now you decide to take a vactaion from your writing duties TJ? What the eff? I need something to pass the time in between leering at soccer moms and sending out Greg's child support checks.

As a side note, I once ended up watching the first half of a FSU-Miami game with your beloved Brendan Haywood. It was in the lobby of one of the dorms at UNC during what I believe was Haywood's freshman year. He "claimed" to be a lifelong Miami fan despite the fact that he grew up in Greensboro. What a bama.

Why am I telling you this? Because Brendan Haywood sucks and so do you.

Love,

Mark

T.J. said...

Thank you for the kind words. We truly appreciate your support here at GTB. As a token of our appreciation, we will be mailing you a limited edition "Homecoming II" AnalBib.

Mark said...

That would be great if Greg didn't get me get me an anal bib every eyar for Xmas.

Geoff said...

This is directed at this blog in general:

Boooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Whitney said...

Go back to the Wheelhouse and post some more dead links, will ya? Pack up your rape culture and take a hike!