This Post Has All the Coolest Stuff!

A lawyer, who runs a bar, in OKC, that features tasteful living room areas, where people spin vinyl on vintage hifi equipment and perseverate on liner notes.  This video has all the coolest stuff!

Family Truckster!

Some lunatic genius in Alberta, Canada took a 1989 Ford LTD Crown Victoria Wagon and turned it into a Family Truckster.

Predictably, it's up for auction at BringaTrailer and it closes today.  I have no idea what the right number is for this monstrosity beauty but I will not be surprised if FoGTB DB wins it.

via GIPHY

A few other choice auctions that are within reach and end today include a 1990 300ZX Twin Turbo for Mark, a 1974 Fiat Jolly for our man at the beach, a very cheap and very shady 2014 Jaguar F-Type right here in NJ for rob, a 2004 VW R32 for rob's kid, a Laguna Blue (!!) 2001 BMW M Roadster in Acton, MA that Squeaky needs to buy right now (even the dreaded spot welds in the trunk look good), an Assuan Brown 1982 Volkswagen Westfalia with striped (not Boogie Woogie, sigh) fabric seats for rootsy, a Yellow Mist 1965 Mercury Comet Caliente Convertible for Whit, a remarkably crisp 1973 TR6 for Mr. KQ, and a 1972 350SL for Marls.

A Dream Deferred

My fondness for Porsches is well documented, so much so that I won't bother linking to some of my Porsche-related G:TB posts.  It will not surprise you that I like to peruse Porsche's finder website to look at cars I will never be able to afford with the hope that I will someday stumble across a hidden gem in the center of my ideal Porsche Venn diagram (manual, roofless, air-cooled, green on the outside, tan-and-pepita on the inside, mechanically sound, affordable).  A boy's gotta dream.

Today I found an achingly perfect 911, a 1977 911S Targa in Oak Green over beige-and-pepita with a 5-speed manual transmission and in preposterously crispy condition at Rusnak Porsche in Pasadena, CA.  

Smack dab in the middle of my Venn diagram!!  Except it's a little too mechanically sound--it has only 437 miles so it's literally a museum quality car.  Which means the most critical aspect of the Venn diagram, price, is waaaaay out of wack.  Rusnak wants [double-checks notes] $896,488.  That's American dollars, not yen or baht.

Alas.  I'll keep on dreaming.

New Logho

When I wear my GTB logo t-shirt zdaughter always remarks on the gross dreadlock of hair in Hakeem's armpit.  Recently she asserted that GTB needs a new logo so I told her to make one.  This is what she came up with.

Apparently we have a blob.

Hurricane Filler

On Friday, with Hurricane Hilary bearing down on southern California, the New York Times ran the following headline and image:

Sandbags are a good idea if you want to mitigate flooding, but you need enough of them to build a wall against the rising water.  The car in that photo is a BMW Z8, a roadster manufactured from 1998 to 2003.  Only 5,703 were made and they currently sell for around a quarter of a million dollars.  And they have about five cubic feet of cargo room.  This is not the car I would select to haul sandbags, but I guess that's how they do it in SoCal.

I waited to post this until after the hurricane passed--luckily it wasn't too bad so I am comfortable with my snark.  In the future, Californians should review our wealth of hurricane-related content to prepare for wet weather.

More zShazams

 I'm back with more zShazams.

1. "Bloke on the Run" by Dennis Cometti

A straightforward garage rock song about a guy who escaped from an Australian prison in 1861.

2.  "Gorilla" by Little Simz

British hiphop with a 1990's vibe.

3. "Denim & Diamonds" by Nikki Lane

The video is like watching Meg White cover Sheryl Crowe.

4. "Black Skinned Blue-Eyed Boy" by The Equals

A very funky protest song.

5. "Love is the Way" by Thee Sacred Souls

Old school soul that sounds like it should be on Daptone.  This one has been played quite a lot over the past few months so it might be in your zShazams too.

6. "Oh Yeah, Oh No" by Add N to (X)

I don't know how to describe this.  Maybe Neutral Milk Hotel doing electronica?

7. "Two Ways" by Weeping Icon

Sounds like something from A Place to Bury Strangers.

More zShazams

I haven't been carrying my weight around here lately so I'm posting the easiest schtick in my bag of tricks: zshazams.  You too can find stuff like this on WFMU, WFUV, and WBGO.  Here are a few recent gems.

"Viva Prado" by Stan Kenton

I played the trumpet in middle school and I was predictably bad at it.  I love the sound of trumpets played well, especially high notes.  They take on this weird smeary quality like magic markers or when you rub on a balloon.  You'll see what I mean around 2:45.  

"Controversy" by Prince

I saw Prince live once only because I blundered into free tickets.  He was amazing and at the time I thought about familiarizing myself with more of his catalog.  About 6 weeks later zson was born and I forgot about all that.  Maybe I will do so now--Controversy is some funky shit.

 

"Jackie Down the Line" by Fontaines D.C.

This sounds like a Bloc Party song.  I dig it.

"Cain's Heresy" by The Lounge Society

This sounds like a Bloc Party song until the switch at 2:40 when it becomes a psychedelic noodling guitar jam.

"Shombalor" by Sheriff & The Ravels

This is proto King Khan & the BBQ Show.  A quintessential Fool's Paradise song, except Toddophonic Todd played it.

"Hard Rock Potato" by The Cool Greenhouse

These guys are heavily influenced by Greasetruck and the Almighty Yojo, except the eschew heavy vocal distortion.

"Our Love Will Still Be There" by Big Blood

This sounds like a Troggs song because it's a cover.  I think it sounds like a Madonna song too, maybe "Ray of Light" which always reminds me of Mike Buddy because TR and I were at a Yankee game once and when he came to the mound they played "Ray of Light" and I said "Mike Buddy is like a ray of light" and TR laughed and so did I.  We were wildly overserved, it was a double-header and the first game went 18 innings or something stupid like that so we guzzled Coors Light from those flimsy wax-paper tallboy cups for 27 innings so that was a funny thing to say under those circumstances.

And those are the latest zshazams!

More Mogs

 Morgan released some videos detailing their new three-wheeler.

The model's website has lots of information and if you want to spend hours trapped in an automotive rabbit hole, they have a bonkers configurator.  

There are many ways to spec this car and it's easy to screw it up.  Any black, silver, or gray version is incorrect.  For example, a murdered out Super 3 is stupid.

Matte battleship gray is better but still wrong.

Either way you can't see all of the car's details.  And it's a fucking three-wheeler with no roof or windshield, there's no point in trying to be subtle.  I see a few obvious builds.

First is green over biscuit with ivory side blades and matching wheels.  They offer at least five different shades of green (six if you count the blue-green "Eden Blue").  I'm going with glossy Almond because it's solid, not metallic.  Alligator would be better if it wasn't metallic, but that's life.  The side blades are matte Sport Ivory, as are the wheels.  I am not a fan of matte paint generally because it often hides the car's lines--my old neighbor had a matte black Audi A7 and it made one of the prettiest cars on the road completely two-dimensional.  But the wheels and side blades have no lines, they are completely two dimensional so matte paint will only accentuate them.  While I'm at it I'll take "zman" and "zwoman" callsigns on the driver's and passenger's sides respectively, American flags (they don't have that in the configurator so there are Union Jacks in the picture), a tinted flyscreen, Rich Tan interior, Zebrano wood on the dash, extra driving lights with protective cages all around, and because I'm an idiot I'll get body-matching luggage too.

That's a classically British car.  The luggage is ridiculous.  This is not a car you take on a road trip.  It has no top for God's sake.  But it looks cool in the picture so I included it.

It would also be correct to make the whole thing Sport Ivory and put a pop of color on the inside, like Cotswold Green.  I would go with silver wheels to get some contrast and some WWI flying ace decals for fun.

Austin Powers would go full Union Jack with this thing.

That's Sport Blue with Sport Red blades, cowl, and wheels.  Ivory seats with quilted red stitching and the Morgan logo between the seats.  The exhaust pipe is white too.  The brightwork is silver, the flyscreens are clear, and I only specced two driving lights to give the car less of a spider's face.  I added the Union Jack decals to make it as preposterous as possible.

If I were plunking down my hard earned zcash, I would go with glossy Classic Blue and matte White Gold blades and wheels, Tan mariner leather with pleated seats and blue stitching, silver brightwork, a walnut dashboard and a big Momo wood steering wheel.  I'd get the big flyscreen just to make it more livable, and a "03" decal on the blades.

Ideally the blades and wheels would be slightly browner and the body would be more of a robin's egg blue.  They have an infinitely adjustable "special solid colour" widget but it's too hard to figure out.

With all that said, the previous 3 Wheeler was cooler.  The exposed exhaust pipes running down the side were a major burn hazard but boy were they awesome to look at.  Having the engine hanging off the front bumper was a goofy idea just from a physics and handling dynamics perspective but it was also very aesthetically pleasing.  And the wire wheels were orders of magnitude more beautiful than these dog dishes on the Super 3.  The digital dash in the new car isn't heresy but I'm not sure it works with the whole old-timey steampunk vibe they're going for.

It starts at £35,000 and every time you do something in the configurator it adds more to the pricetag.  Sport Ivory paint is £595, for example.  Any wheels other than silver is another £595.  Any interior other than black vinyl and they start at £895.  It's insane, especially for a car you can't drive far or often.  It has no roof so you can't use it when it might rain (unless you don't mind ruining the interior).  The flyscreens are clip-on pieces of plastic so I doubt they provide any serious protection from rocks, insects, or anything else that might fly into your face at 40 MPH.  I cannot imagine driving one of these on a real highway--you would be invisible to, and thus likely run over by, an 18-wheeler or a Cadillac Escalade.  

Naturally, I registered my interest on the Morgan website and Linda from Morgan Motors of New England already contacted me.  I'm pretty sure I'm not stupid enough to buy a Super 3.  Pretty sure.

Take Eleven Minutes and Twenty-Seven Seconds to Watch This

This won Bring a Trailer's Video of the Year Award.  It's worth your time.

The Time MC Hammer Tried to Kill MC Serch

I'm not sure what surprises me more, this story or our lack of an MC Serch label.

@jackzmusicandme

Reply to @whatrockschris #mchammer #mcserch #3rdbass #bayarea #fyp #foryou #fypシ

♬ original sound - Jackzbeats

Shazams are Back Again

The shazams are back!  Here are some cool songs I Shazammed since my last post.  I hope they liven up your summer.

Be Thankful for What You've Got by William DeVaughan (N.W.A. sampled this)

Rosie by Figmore featuring Juicebox & 10.4 Rog (no idea who any of those acts are but this is a fun song)

Our Love Will Still Be There by Big Blood (this band made the last Shazams, this time covering the Troggs)

Living Room by David Holmes (give it a minute and it pays off)

runt på stranden by Shitkid (who doesn't love a Swedish all-girl punk rock act?)

The Evidence by Snapped Ankles (I suspect these guys like Devo)

Whipped Cream by Lorenzo Holden (no idea what this has to do with whipped cream but it swings)

Gudbuy T'Jane by Slade (I need to invest some energy into listening to these guys)

One World by Utopia (Todd Rungren is involved)

Happy Father's Day!

zShazams are Back

I won't make this longer or more difficult than it needs to be.  Here are a handful of songs from my recent Shazams.  I hope you enjoy them.

"Crossbow" by Tamar Aphek (she gets her own GTB label to incentivize more posts)

"Everybody's Talkin'" by Bill Withers (why didn't I know this song already?)

"Shake and Fingerpop" by Junior Walker and the All Starts (rootsy and I always fantasized about having a band like this play at Unit M)

"Orgiastic" by Stereolab (I never go looking for Stereolab but I'm always happy when I hear them)

"Whiskey Women and Loaded Dice" by Sticks McGhee (perfect title)

"Sweet Talker" by Big Blood (this whole album is worth your time)

"Louie Louie" by zdaughter (just remember that she's six)

Good zNews

Thanks to my genetic and professional predisposition for high blood pressure, I got my second covid vaccination on Friday night.  There were a ton of people at my county's vaccination center but the National Guard moved us along like clockwork, it took maybe 15-20 minutes from check-in through dosage and then a 15 minute observation period to make sure I didn't have an allergic reaction.  I woke up on Saturday with a sore arm but no other ill effect.  This surprised me because based on what I've read and seen, I expected the next day to go like this:

For clarity, I would be Arnold Schwarzenegger in this scenario and zwoman would be Sandahl Bergman.  TR would be the wizard.

But now I'm like this:

I'm still wearing masks, distancing, washing my hands, etc. but it feels good to be vaccinated.

I might feel good because I've also started taking better care of myself.  I haven't had a drink since Christmas and I've exercised all but two days since January 1.  As a result I've lost at least five pounds, I get decent sleep, and I have fewer aches and pains.  Thanks to my employer's wellness benefit plan I have a bicycle for the first time in about 30 years and I look forward to riding around with zson as the weather get better.

zmom is slated for her first dose on Thursday and zstepfather on Monday.  So there's good znews all around.  Saying this in pixels practically guarantees a meteor strike or some other calamity, but I'll enjoy the positivity for now.

***DAY 2 UPDATE***

I'm still like this:

Step Up Your Sneaker Game

Everyone should have cool sneakers.  And by that I mean sneakers that make you happy when you put them on.  I'm not particularly trendily or well dressed above the ankles, but my shoe game it tight.  I'm not afraid to wear some questionable stuff on my feet, and Mark is even farther our there than I am.  In what might become a recurring bit, I will suggest a couple shoes you should consider adding to your rotation.

Anyone can rock Stan Smiths, and I firmly believe everyone should have at least one pair of them.  These are currently marked down to $48 so the risk factor is low.  They're not your standard Stans but no one should lack the confidence to wear them.

Chalk white nubuck uppers with a translucent gray sole?  Yes please.

Also on sale at adidas are these Stan Smiths in Primeknit.  Get them now for $66 and you're all set for the summer.

If you're feeling confident and you don't plan on encountering bad weather, consider these brown velvet Stan Smiths for $60.

Wear these and you're well prepared for situations like this:

Like my doormat tells you, watch ya step kid!  Now go tighten up your footwear collection.

A Differential Gheorghemas Interlude

Did you ever wonder how your car's differential works?  Do you know what the differential is?  It's that round thing behind your truck nuts.

Luckily, in 1937 a guy named Jam Handy made a movie explaining it in an accessible way.  Parenthetically, Jam Handy sounds like a good guy to have around if you need to throw a particularly large or belligerent person in the bowl.

You can fast forward to 1:55 if you don't want to watch the introductory nonsense.  Postcount!

What do Eddie Van Halen and Thomas Edison have in common?

Did you know that Eddie Van Halen is an inventor?  He is named on three utility patents and two design patents.  The design patents are pretty easy to understand.  One claims the design of a guitar peghead, the other claims the design of a guitar pickup.

Two of the utility patents are a little more complicated.  One claims an apparatus for adjusting the tension on the strings of a musical instrument.  The other claims a humbugging pickup.  Whatever that is.

The third is my favorite.  It claims an apparatus that lets you play a stringed instrument tilted 90 degrees upward from how you normally hold it.  I like it not because I want to jam out perpendicularly, but because it has the most rock n roll figure I've ever seen in a patent.

Rest in peace Eddie Van Halen, guitar superhero and patent rockstar.

Rick Astley Muppet Filler

When this came on the radio I nearly crashed my car so I could pull over and record it.

 

 According to WFMU, this is "Never Gonna Give Your Teen Spirit Up" by DJ Morgoth, not to be confused with "Don't You Ever Give Up Wanting Me Baby" by MMM (fast forward to 2:52:49 below).  

 If you want more mashups, including the Muppets doing Hamilton and Jesus Christ Superstar, fast forward to 2:44:03.

 

TR is Getting a Tesla

Autoblow is real. I think it's also a real bad idea.



You'll clearly be too distracted to avoid an accident. If you get in an accident will you have a "World According to Garp" situation?

Doesn't this make a mess? How do you clean it? How do you get out of it without soiling your car?

Doesn't everyone know what's going on when they see you carrying it in and out of the car? You obviously can't keep it in the car for everyone to see.

This explains TR's sudden interest in getting a Tesla though. Also in TR's wheelhouse, the same company sells prostate massagers.

30 Years of Fear

Public Enemy released their masterpiece "Fear of a Black Planet" 30 years ago today. This makes me feel very old, and like posting some of the tracks that still hold up.

"Brothers Gonna Work it Out" and "Welcome to the Terrordome" still bang. Some of the hardest conscious hiphop ever.





I stupidly put this song on a Unit M party mix one time. The Burg wasn't ready for it.



I've said it before and I'll say it again: The Chemical Brothers, Prodigy and the rest of those late-90's electronic were just ripping off PE. They owe The Bomb Squad at least half of all the money they made.



I think "Fight the Power" is a little played out but it cannot be ignored when talking about "Fear of a Black Planet." The intro to this version is still relevant today, unfortunately.

Shazam!

Two of my friends, a husband and wife team that zwoman and I refer to as The Elegances, were early iPhone adopters. I didn’t understand the hoopla at first. Jenny Elegance showed me the great camera and how good photos looked on the big screen. It was cool but I wasn’t blown away. Then she showed me the map feature with GPS directions. I was really impressed—-I have no sense of direction and this is the type of thing I could really use. Then Danny Elegance came over the top with Shazam. My mind was blown. I said something like “Yo, this thing just sniffs the beats out the air and gives you the song?!? I want that beat sniffer!” FOGTB JP quickly replied “The beat sniffer, that’s my dog!” This is funny because his dog Hank liked to sniff the crotch of our friend Julie Beats. I guess you had to be there.

All this is to say that Shazam is great and it was the motivating force behind my first iPhone purchase. Over a decade later, Dave apparently just learned about Shazam and started blogging about it. Better late than never.

I still love Shazam. Here are some of my recent finds:

“It Was Wrong to Love You” by The Jay Vons (of course they’re on Daptone, here's the song live)



“Talk That Talk” by The Du Droppers (nothing like the Rihanna song)



“There’s No One Like You” by Redd Kross



“Tom Drunk” by U-Roy (the “Fortified Live” sample!)



“Castin’ My Spell” by Johnny Otis



“I’m a King Bee” by Slim Harpo (the original!)



“Night walkers” by Kiki Hitomi (I can't come up with a coherent parenthetical for this one)



“All the Way from Memphis” by Mott the Hoople (sounds like the influenced White Reaper)



Dave and I probably aren't the only Shazammers around here. What did you find lately?