Showing posts with label This is not a Fugazi post. Show all posts
Showing posts with label This is not a Fugazi post. Show all posts

Monday, January 29, 2024

The Things I'd Carry

rob's The Things We'd Carry post posits "I'm not one to spend a lot of money on cars or fancy watches or other ostentatious trappings of success."  If you read my posts you know I like cars and watches so color me ostentatious.  And I posit that fancy watches can hold memories just like the stuff in rob's post.  For example, go to 6:15 in this interview with Alton Brown.  Or this clip from Pulp Fiction.

This is my 1965 Omega Seamaster Chronograph, reference 143.646.  It's a special watch, if you're into watches, because it has a 321 movement, the same movement in the Omega Speedmasters worn by the Apollo 11 astronauts, which is also known as the Moonwatch.  The only movement certified for use on the moon!  It's sort of like an air-cooled flat-six, if that means anything to you.

Aesthetically, I love the domed crystal, small (by modern standards) size, and the way the 3-6-9 markers are cut away by the chronograph registers.  I like to imagine some apprentice who was too junior to be allowed to touch a dial, let alone a movement, cropping them with giant shears so that they fit perfectly with the subdials.  There's a whole online fetish around cropped numerals, if you're into that.

It's also a special watch because my father received it as a high school graduation present from our Mitsu Bacsi (or our Uncle Nick for you Muricans).  Mitsu Bacsi wasn't really our uncle, he was my grandfather's best friend but we called him Bacsi anyway because Hungarians like to appropriate people into their family, it's a cultural thing.  Mitsu's wife was Swiss and during a trip back to her motherland they got watches for all the zfamily.  I think this was a much cheaper proposition in the 1960s than it is today.  The Seamaster originally came on a beads of rice bracelet but it pulled the (copious) hair on my father's wrist so he threw it out (they now sell for hundreds of dollars) and wore it daily for about 20 years until he did some business with Seiko and wound up with one of their watches.  He pulled the Seamaster out of a drawer another 20 years later, had it serviced in Switzerland, and gave it to me for my 31st birthday.  I wore it daily for about 10 years until I realized that it's a relatively valuable (maybe $5k-$6k) and elderly timepiece, and got some newer watches to wear daily.  It's now a special occasion type of thing, or I wear it if I feel like I need a little extra oomph to get something done--I have Dad and Mitsu Bacsi with me while I negotiate with some jerk or interview for a job.

Dedicated GTB readers will recall the story of Mike's watch.  Mike mentioned giving the watch to zson, but eventually all those involved agreed that it made more sense for Shirley to have the cash than for my half-man-half-monkey son to have a $150,000 watch.  So I bought this Tudor Black Bay 36 that I will give zson at some point.

Tudor is a Rolex affiliate, sort of the Chevrolet to Rolex's Cadillac, so it follows the spirit of Mike's intent.  The size, handset, and dial color are all great, the ETA movement is reliable and easy to service, and it's an automatic so you don't have to wind it, just wear it.  I wear it regularly so it will have a few dings when I hand it over.

To commemorate leaving a miserable job, I bought myself a Sinn 756 Diapal.  It's a chronograph that also tracks time in two time zones.  It isn't a proper GMT, the second hour hand is based on 12 hours, but if you work with people in another country (which I've done) and wanted to time things like the number of hours you've been on the record in a deposition (which I've done) and you want a durable travel watch that can do both things, this is your huckleberry.

Sinn is a German company with a reputation for rugged tool watches but they don't have much name recognition in the US.  The 756 features a modified Valjoux 7750 movement so it has some Swiss engineering, but its design and materials are very Germanic--the German navy makes submarines using the same steel that Sinn uses for their watches.  It's not super wide, 40 mm, but it's stupidly thick at 14 mm.  It wears well but it doesn't like to stay under your cuff so it's prominent.  I'm giving this one to zdaughter someday because a girl named Esme should have an oversized watch from her father.

You may think that mechanical watches are frivolous and wasteful, and I see where you're coming from.  But I promise you that your kids and grandkids aren't going to cherish your Apple Watch or Casio G-Shock.  Hopefully mine will rely on these when they need a little extra oomph as I have with the Seamaster.  I'm taking them with me.

rob had a lot of photos in his bag of holding.  I'm not into them.  It rarely occurs to me to photograph something other than food and zcats.  That said, almost all of the art in zhome is photographs taken by my other Hungarian fugazi uncle, Bela Bacsi.  His brother married my grandfather's sister, which makes us absolutely nothing.

But he was a righteous dude and a nominally famous photographer.  This interview involves a photo he took in Chicago for Life Magazine.  Go ahead and read it, I'll wait.  I have that same photo in my dining room and it's important to me for several reasons.  

First, it's a damn good photo.  Many people have commented on it, it's striking in person and gives off a strong communal vibe.  The details are great.  At most two of the chairs are the same.  Everyone holds their knife Euro-style.  It's hard to see below, but the three boys at the bottom of the image are sharing two chairs.  The baby is mischievous.  


Second, Bela Bacsi provided me with tons of support, encouragement, and wisdom when I was getting divorced and I will always be grateful to and fond of him.  He was married a few times himself, being an accomplished stickman in his youth and a sly dog in his dotage, and he always took it upon himself to wingman me with the waitress whenever we went to lunch.  "He's a lawyer, very successful!  You should give him your phone number!"

Third, I did a piece of legal work for Bela around this photo.  zwoman and I went to dinner at a higher-end chain restaurant in NYC.  They recently renamed a few of their flagship locations, and along with the check they included a postcard announcing the renaming.  The front of the postcard was this photo (I'm telling you it's a damn good photo) so I called Bela the next day and congratulated him on getting this bit of work.  It turns out they didn't license the image, they just used it, and Bela Bacsi was ripshit to put it mildly.  We worked out a deal with the restaurant (they were stunned that an 88-year-old Hungarian guy had spies on the ground and I shamed them mercilessly) and I refused to take any money for the work, despite Bela Bacsi's protestations.  But I do have a copy of that photo.  It goes in the bag.  You can find his photos and books online if you want something for your wall or shelf (or your bag).

That's really all I need to keep.  I have a few other important items (things zkids made for me, a photocopy of my grandmother's handwritten manuscript about her life from 1929-1945, my grandparents' license plates from the 1940s and 1950s) but they aren't as interesting to write about (except for the manuscript, which I cannot summarize) so I'll travel light with three watches and a picture.  I probably don't even need a bottomless bag.

Sunday, February 23, 2020

Gheorghe Explains the 2020 Democratic Primary

It's been a while since Gheorghe explained the election. Here are many hot takes on the 2020 Democratic primary broken down by candidate.

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The candidate: Bernie Sanders

His campaign in a sentence: free healthcare, free medicine, free college, free citizenship, and a union card for everyone

His campaign in a GIF:

via GIPHY


Liked by: people who don’t have and can’t afford the aforementioned stuff

Disliked by: people who have the aforementioned stuff and don’t want to have to pay for other people to get it

Trump’s nickname if he gets the nomination: Bolshevik Bernie; Bernie Panders

How Trump will beat him: Trump will terrify many people with rants about socialism and communism and how Bernie will destroy the "big beautiful economy" Trump alleges to have built. Trump will run this video again and again and again:



Parenthetically, Bernie Sanders was 46 years old in 1988 yet he looked 78. We should all feel better about ourselves, or at least our appearances relative to middle-aged Bernie.

Trump will also yell words like "Sandinistas" and "Oretega" and "Castro" not only because Bernie backed them, but because it will tie him to Latin America and thus further enrage Trump's xenophobic base. Also, Putin will interfere on Trump’s behalf.

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The candidate: Pete Buttigieg

His campaign in a sentence: I am more intelligent and poised than your other options

His campaign in a GIF:

via GIPHY


Liked by: people who look at him and are reminded of the aloof but still likable valedictorian of their elite undergraduate university

Disliked by: people who did not go to an elite undergraduate university; people who went to an elite undergraduate university and did not find their aloof valedictorian to be likable

Trump’s nickname if he gets the nomination: Gayor Pete; some bad pun involving “Butt”

How Trump will beat him: This will be ugly. Trump unabashedly ran on racism and xenophobia in 2016. If Buttigieg gets the nomination Trump will expand his platform to include homophobia. Trump will say things like “Can you imagine this guy negotiating with Putin? Vlad would have his way with him! And you know what, Pete would like that!” Or “Kim Jong-Un would have Pete on his knees in seconds [waits a beat] and Pete is probably looking forward to it!” Buttigieg’s military service will carry no weight. GHW Bush, Bob Dole, John Kerry, and John McCain were all decorated combat veterans. All but Bush earned a Purple Heart. They also all lost presidential elections. No one cares about military service anymore. Also, Putin will interfere on Trump’s behalf.

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The candidate: Mike Bloomberg

His campaign in a sentence: I can beat Trump because I’m a New Yorker; also, I have $61 billion with which to bludgeon you into voting for me

His campaign in a GIF:

via GIPHY


Liked by: people who have been bludgeoned into submission by $61 billion worth of advertising; people from the New York area who work in the financial services industry; people who think it takes a thief to catch a thief

Disliked by: people who don’t want to see another egomaniacal New York billionaire with no real party affiliation buy the presidency; people who look at Bloomberg’s record of mistreating minorities and women and see a bizarro Trump

Trump’s nickname if he gets the nomination: Stop N Frisk Mike; Mikey NDA

How Trump will beat him: Trump will gaslight voters (again) into thinking that Bloomberg will be “a disaster” for minorities and women, while Trump will be their champion. Also, Putin will interfere on Trump’s behalf.

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The candidate: Joe Biden

His campaign in a sentence: I was Barack Obama’s VP!

His campaign in a GIF:

via GIPHY


Liked by: people with little imagination

Disliked by: people who look at Biden and see a very old man who may be in cognitive decline

Trump’s nickname if he gets the nomination: Dopey Joe, Slidin’ Biden

How Trump will beat him: Trump will gaslight voters (again) into thinking that Obama (and thus Biden) destroyed the economy while Trump unleashed it like the Kraken. Then he will sit back while Biden says and does stupid shit and shoots himself in the foot. Also, Putin will interfere on Trump’s behalf.

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The candidate: Amy Klobuchar

Her campaign in a sentence: I'm a nice midwesterner with a record of centrism and electability so you should like me, please please like me

Her campaign in a GIF:

via GIPHY


Liked by: Does anyone really affirmatively like her?

Disliked by: Does anyone really affirmatively dislike her?

Trump’s nickname if she gets the nomination: Shaky Amy

How Trump will beat her:
In an early debate zdaughter turned to me and asked about Klobuchar "Why is she so shaky?" It's a good question. Maybe she's nervous, maybe she has a neurological issue, maybe she uses too much hairspray. All I know is it's a weakness so apparent my 5-year-old saw it so Trump will pounce on it and exploit it for all it's worth. He will say a bunch of misogynistic stuff too. Also, Putin will interfere on Trump’s behalf.

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The candidate: Elizabeth Warren

Her campaign in a sentence: I have a pompous lecture for every issue

Her campaign in a GIF:

via GIPHY


Liked by: people who enjoy pompous lectures

Disliked by: people who don’t like to be lectured

Trump’s nickname if she gets the nomination: Pocahontas, Lyin' Lizzie

How Trump will beat her: His answer to every debate question will be “She lied about her race to get ahead!” or he’ll just yell “Pocahontas!” over and over. Candidly I have no idea how Warren has skated on this issue for so long. I think it’s an egregious misrepresentation. Also, Putin will interfere on Trump’s behalf.

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You know who the best candidate was on paper?

The candidate: Cory Booker

What his campaign should have been in a sentence: I have an Ivy League degree and a Rhodes scholarship like Pete, mayoral experience like Pete and Mike and Bernie, senatorial experience like Joe and Bernie and Amy and Liz, a progressive record on guns and the environment, a pro-business record when it comes to the economy, a realistic healthcare plan, and I know how to relate to minority voters because I really am a minority; also, I played Pac-10 football, I'm dating Rosario Dawson, and Trump can't pull his "I'm more manly than you" bully bullshit with me because I'm bigger and stronger and much younger than him and I would absolutely fuck him up if he stepped to me.

What his campaign should have been in a GIF:

via GIPHY


Liked by: apparently no one

Disliked by: I don't know anyone who affirmatively dislikes him

Trump’s nickname if he gets the nomination: Cory Crooker in an attempt to tie him to corruption in Newark

How Trump will beat him: He already did.

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Ultimately I really truly believe that Trump will lose in November no matter his opponent. Despite all my foregoing snark, I think that voters will be highly motivated in PA, WI, OH, and MI (which appear to be the only states that matter because they are the only ones that could go either way) and I have to imagine that they are picking up what the Democrats are putting down, namely lots of free stuff, income equality, a return to sanity and normalcy, etc. Trump ran on populism but it isn't clear to me that these four states are any better off than they were in 2016, and Bloomberg and Steyer will hopefully dip deeply into their fortunes to get the vote out. So keep your chins up!

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Buy Mike's Paul Newman!

My father-in-law, Mike, about whom I wrote previously, died on June 20. This was expected but sad nonetheless. Mike was very much a participant, rather than an observer, in the game of life. As a result we are fortunate to have tons of "Mike stories" to remember him by.

And we're in the process of generating one more Mike story! TR threw a party for his son's first communion last month, where I wound up talking watches with a mutual friend as well as FOG:TB Juan Carlos. I mentioned Mike's watch, a Paul Newman Daytona, and our family's interest in selling it without getting ripped off. Turns out both guys know the head of Christie's watch group and he lives around the corner from zfamily. They put us in touch and the watch expert is a fantastic guy. I brought the watch to his house, he verified it isn't a fugazi, and it will be auctioned online starting June 28 through July 12. They even took some nifty glamour shots.


Remarkably, it appears to have the highest estimated value of any lot in the auction. Not too bad for a $295 purchase that was worn daily for 40-some-odd years.

You can follow Mike's watch here. Feel free to bid--you can use a credit card! The whole zfamily hopes the auction results in one more awesome Mike story.

Friday, May 25, 2018

Sream and Roor Will Smoke You

Martin Birzle (as in, fo' shirzle my Birzle) is an award-winning designer and manufacturer of smokers' products. Mr. Birzle owns Roor International BV, which is headquartered in Germany, and he sells his high-quality borosilicate hand-blown jointed-glass water pipes under the Roor trademark.


The Roor mark is the subject of three registrations with the US Patent and Trademark Office. To put it more plainly, Birzle sells fancy glass bongs--so fancy that they have trademarks associated with them. Don't laugh! Roor bongs start at $300 each. Roor sales in the United states alone have been in excess of $5,000,000 for the last three years. That's a lot of green.


I know all of this because Roor and its licensed US distributor, Sream, Inc., sued Arzumanara Corporation in the US District Court for the Southern District of Florida for trademark infringement, asserting that Arzumanara sells knock-off Roor bongs. Fugazis if you will.

It turns out that Arzumanara does business as "Food Zone 619" which, according to Yelp, appears to be a bodega in Homestead, FL (about 15-20 miles outside of Miami). Remarkably, this isn't the first time Sream and Roor took legal action to enforce the Roor marks. It appears that Sream filed 313 complaints (313!?!) in the past two to three years, mostly against what appear to be mom-and-pop food stores or gas stations that sell cheap glass bongs under the counter.

Their complaints are filed almost exclusively in C.D. Cal. (which covers LA), S.D. Fla. (Miami), S.D.N.Y. (Manhattan), E.D.N.Y. (Brooklyn Queens Staten and LI), and E.D. La. (New Orleans). They seem to focus on places where pot is plentiful.


None of this makes a ton of sense to me. How do you walk into federal court and assert trademark protection over a product used to commit a federal crime?

via GIPHY


Apparently they don't walk into court too often, instead they settle. And that's likely a great way to make money. Even if they only get $10,000 per settlement, that's over $3 million for 313 cases. Once their attorney takes his contingent fee cut they're left with at least $2 million.

So if you're selling bootleg Roor bongs in the back of your bodega, stop now! Or else Birzle will put a hurtin' on you! I'm looking at you Mark.

Friday, October 13, 2017

Today's Your Lucky Day

Happy Friday the 13th, gheorghies!

Okay, so not everyone is excited about this ominous date.  Some folks dread the bad luck and misfortune oddly associated with this day.  A few even hide at home, fearing the worst if they venture out.  Pretty ridiculous, but let's take a look at Friday the 13th.

What's the deal?  Well, it's certainly tied to the overall fear of the number 13, or triskaidekaphobia.  Dave has attributed the phobia to there being 13 witches in a coven. The devout Christians at GTB look to the Last Supper and Judas as the most reviled #13 since Alex Rodriguez. Historians refer to Hammurabic code. There were 13 steps to the gallows (12 up, and one down). 13 proper studio albums for the Beatles before they split. Whatever the true origin, it's a creepy number that building architects acknowledge and fans of the space program swear by.

Then there's Friday the 13th. Again, tales of origin diverge. One such hypothesis, owing to "Friday, 13 October 1307, the date Philip IV of France arrested hundreds of the Knights Templar" is particularly . . . well, uninteresting, compared to the sordid saga that enters all of our minds when we think of Friday the 13th.
A young camper (seemingly) drowns whilst caretakers cavort.  Revenge, misplaced as it may be, is merciless.  And endless, as it turns out. 
The original Friday the 13th begat a sequel, then became a trilogy, then spawned such a litter that the series is now a dodecalogy.  That's 12 films over 37 years.  Yikes.

And even if you've never seen one frame of any of the 12, you know his name.

Barroom Trivia Question:  Who's the killer in the film Friday the 13th?

If you said Jason, you owe me a shot. (In the original, it's Jason's mom. Acceptable answers include Mrs. Voorhees or "his mammy.")

Bonus Trivia Question: Name the link between Kevin Bacon, Johnny Depp, and Jamie Lee Curtis.

Each appeared in the first installment of the major horror franchises of the 80's (Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Halloween, respectively).

Anyway, our friend in the hockey goalie mask with the machete or chainsaw, Jason, is now the most lasting image of the day Friday the 13th.  Destruction, terror, and mayhem. Any camp counselors, Jason will slay 'em.  These moviemakers have done nothing to ease the dread of this calendric occasion.

Here's the thing, though.  It doesn't need to be a bad luck day. Why begin any 24-hour period with even a passing notion that ill fortune is headed our way?  13's no big deal.  Wilt the Stilt wore #13, and he . . . did well.  Dan Marino and Steve Nash won a ton of regular-season games. Dave Concepcion. Lee Mazzilli (in 1986 for the best team in baseball).

Mill-ard Fill-more!
(to be shout-sung like R.E.M.)

Baker's dozens! Who doesn't like that extra doughnut (or cupcake)?

13 Songs!  Very fine album (EP amalgam) from Fugazi, good for listening to while you're waiting in the waiting room.


Glenn Danzig wrote the song "Thirteen" for Johnny Cash.  It supposedly only took him 20 minutes to pen, and it's full of misfortune and pain, so that tells you something about Danzig.  Good tune, though.  "Thirteen Sad Farewells" by Stu Larsen is also a fine listen.

Depressing and sad aren't the order of this Friday the 13th, however, so I'll close with this gem, maybe the best 13-based song of all time.  Cue the Big Star:


Rock and roll is here to stay.

Let today be a day of good luck. Stop wishin' on bad luck and knockin' on wood, good people.   Make your own fortune, and wish well to your fellow gheorghies.

Friday, February 12, 2016

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Eagulls

If you like music that sounds like a sneer then you should check out Eagulls. Despite their goofy name.







H/T Danny Elegance.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Boys to "Men"

Dan Sinker is a Chicago-based journalism professor, mobile web expert, and founder of the underground culture magazine Punk Planet. He's perhaps best known for his epic twitter parody of Rahm Emanuel's mayoral campaign. As @MayorEmanuel, Sinker created a profane bizarro campaign world that's subsequently become a book entitled The F***ing Epic Twitter Quest of @MayorEmanuel.

Earlier this week, in commemoration of  Ian MacKaye's 50th birthday, Sinker posted an excerpt from a long-ago interview with the Fugazi frontman and punk legend. If the ladies in our lives want a little bit of insight into how we think, there are much worse places to start:
"I was cleaning my room once and I was listening to Led Zeppelin. Robert Plant was going on and on about all of these seemingly adult kind of things and I realized he was eighteen when he did that record—I was probably twenty-nine years old at the time—and I just thought, “Oh my god, I’m twenty-nine years old and I never became an adult.” Here’s Robert Plant and he’s eighteen and he’s singing about having his own apartment and running around town. To me, he seemed so adult. I called my dad and I said, “Dad, I’m kinda freaking out over here. I’m twenty-nine years old and I’m starting to realize that I’m a man, but I never made that transition.” And he said, “Well, I’ll tell you two things. First off, I see you as a man, as an adult man. You’re not a kid. And the second thing is that I can’t see myself as a man.” He was sixty at the time and he hadn’t come to terms with it either. It was nice and terrible at the same time to realize that that transition is a difficult one."
Right now, a bunch of putative "adult" males are reading this and going, "yup".

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

This is not a Fugazi post

In an effort to continue our Ghostface Fillah streak, FOG:TB Squeaky put me onto Wugazi, a Fugazi/Wu-Tang mashup. It's called 13 Chambers in homage to 13 Songs and Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers). Even if those album titles mean nothing to you, I guarantee you're familiar with Waiting Room and C.R.E.A.M. if you were a teenager in the early 1990's. At first blush these are vastly disparate videos, but the more you watch them the more similar they become. For instance, there aren't many women and all the "dancing" really just involved bopping your head and chopping your arms up and down.

(Parenthetically, the C.R.E.A.M. video serves as a potent reminder of the amazing awkwardness of the old Q45. All cars need a grill.)

So it's no surprise that Wugazi works. Right now I can only find these three tracks. I'll alert our loyal fanbase if and when more tracks surface.

Forensic Shimmy by WUGAZI

Sweet Release by WUGAZI

Sleep Rules Everything Around Me by WUGAZI