Food is Dumb

We are nothing if not an easily distracted people. Witness...waves hands...everything. Now comes news from two different sources of wild foodstuffs designed - obviously - to take our minds off of the monstrous fuckery loosed upon the world.

First, the folks that used to be wisely guided by Dave Thomas' avuncular approach have gone off the rails. Wendy's recently released the Takis Fuego Chicken sandwich. For the initiated, Takis are a rolled tortilla snack designed to resemble mini taquitos. They come in a number of flavors, but Fuego is the most popular - who can resist a well-balanced hot chili pepper and lime flavor profile? Full disclosure, I think they're pretty tasty.

Lindsay Radkoski, Wendy's U.S. Chief Marketing Officer tells us, "At Wendy's, we know how to keep things spicy, and we love serving up fresh, famous collaborations that tap into consumers passion points, which made this partnership with Takis a no brainer. By joining forces with such an iconic and beloved snacking brand, we're turning up the heat and flavor in a way only Wendy's can!"

Heat and flavor, noted Wendy's attributes, natch. To be honest, I'd try it.

Which is not something I can say about our other featured food item.

Heinz (the ketchup people - that Heinz) and Smoothie King have teamed up to release the Heinz Tomato Ketchup Smoothie. I just threw up in my mouth. According to the linked article from delish, "The deep red drink blends açai sorbet, fresh apple juice, ripe strawberries, tart raspberries, and a not-so-subtle dash of Heinz ketchup."

Threw up again.

That sounds so disgusting that I wouldn't even ask Marls to try it, and Marls never backs down from a gustatory challenge.

We'll keep our eyes open for other delicious mashups/assaults on society, so please be sure to check back at regular intervals. Which is not something you'll have if you drink that Heinz monstrosity.