Friday, September 01, 2017

Friday Entrepreneurial Update

We've all got talents here at G:TB. Mark excels at recreational hoops and finding blank spots on his body for new ink. Danimal's a renowned hobnobber and elbow-rubber, not to mention an elite triathlete. Me, I have a talent for wasting time while appearing productive during the workday. Case in point.

Not all of us can turn our natural abilities into financial gain, as nice as that might be. Now, though, through the miracle of modern science, one of us is well on his way to a gilded existence.

According to a recent Washington Post article, the local sanitation utility, D.C. Water, is now in the business of selling human poop as fertilizer.

TR just struck brown gold.

D.C. Water's not just selling human waste, they've created two different branded offerings designed to appeal to diverse markets. Fresh Bloom is a less-processed offering, with a gummy consistency, while Cured Bloom is sun-dried and turned, offering users a more soil-like experience.

As you might imagine, reaction to the Bloom product line has been mixed. Lidia Epp, a New Kent, VA-based biologist goes full alarmist, "This is Flint, Michigan, happening everywhere in the country in slow motion."

Sunday morning in TR's backyard
Meanwhile, Bill Brower, resource recovery manager at D.C. Water's Blue Plains treatment facility, and wholly unbiased observer notes that independent scientists, "have looked at all the literature, and if biosolids are applied correctly there’s no significant risk to human health or the environment."

That 'if' is doing a lot of work in that sentence, but as one who tends to fall on the side of modern institutions generally doing the right thing, for fear of crippling lawsuits and public approbation if for no other reason, I lean towards Brower's point of view. (And I'm conscious of how much work 'generally' is doing in that sentence - Wells Fargo says 'hello'.)

I lean in that direction in large part because I've used processed human poop on my own lawn without negative consequence. Without positive consequence, too, for what it's worth. The locally sourced pelletized poop was inoffensive in smell and appearance, but didn't do much for my lawn. I'm sure my lack of attention to the grass played no role.

Watch this space for news about the G:TB-sponsored Kickstarter campaign to fund launch of TR-branded bags of poop. Next step, profit.

72 comments:

Danimal said...

fyi - no elitism here nor has there been. in fact...haven't done a triathlon in some time. the only race I'm competing in now is to 230 against whit.

Whitney said...

No doubt you're winning that one.

#230byTurkeyDay

zman said...

#230 is the new #420?

I took a dump on TR's lawn at around 2 am on Sunday and his grass looks great.

Marls said...

The famous Hungarian toilet trout

Whitney said...

Why do I read the news any more? Self-loathing?

I mean...

http://theweek.com/speedreads/721669/some-trump-supporters-apparently-think-obama-president-during-hurricane-katrina

rob said...

the russian bots are getting a lot smarter

Squeaky said...

I thought #69 was the new #420.

Last night while at my FFL draft I got a calendar invite from my wife, '6 Couples - Price is Right Worcester MA'. I quickly accepted it and thought nothing of it thanks to a few too many beers.

Turns out we are not going to some kind of swingers party but an actual taping of the game show The Price is Right when it is in Worcester. I hope they serve booze.

zman said...

Knowing what I know about Team Squeaky I would, without hesitation, set the odds of your wife bringing you to a swingers party at exactly 0%. She might bring me, but not you.

Whitney said...

They did that traveling Price is Right here in Norfolk like 6 months ago. Some friends dressed as the cast of Gilligan's Island and went. They didn't get on the show. I told them I thought Let's Make a Deal was the dress-up game show, but they said tons of people were in costume.

Squeaky, come up with a theme for your group.

Whitney said...

Also, are you blaming your bad draft on being unnerved when you thought your wife had signed you up for a key party?

Squeaky said...

Wife won't even go with Zman. I wish I could blame my crappy draft on that but I'm to blame for not printing out a list to bringing with me.

TR said...

When you think of feces, think of TR!

Wait. What?

TR said...

This may be the liquor speaking as we clear the fridge ahead of going home tmrw, but the new Arcade Fire album is the shit. Everything Now sounds like ABBA, w/ a dash of Roxette. That checks a lot of guilty pleasures.

I like all their stuff that the bookish hipsters seem to not like, while not liking what those nerds like.

rob said...

tr went straight to the comments and never read the post. sad!

Whitney said...

I liked TR's comment.

rob said...

you always did dig roxette

rob said...

wasn't that nelson's freshman girlfriend's middle name? we should ask charlie.

TR said...

I read what you dumped on us about feces, Robbie. Comment 12 clearly shows that. Fake news lying again!

Whitney said...

Janie Hott was her name. Her middle name I don't recall. Ask charlie.

rob said...

terrible effort by me. i'll work harder.

rob said...

i recall that it was janie roxy hott, but that may just be the story talking. i'll ask charlie.

zman said...

Sharapova is back on prime time. All is well in the world again.

TR said...

I had a high school friend who took pride in showing us Roxette's You Got the Look video (which he had on VCR) b/c you could freeze-frame a concert shot and see sideboob/sidenipple. Life was different 27 yrs ago.

Whitney said...

Indeed it was, TR. Scrambled cable scanning for a shot at a nipple. Pathetic. But that' was life in the 80's.

Danimal said...

Beeeadgers down 10 to Utah St, quarter 2. Football.
Is that both leather and lace that Sharova worked into her garb? She's a little tomcat.

zman said...

Sonia Kenin's toss is ugly. It looks like how I image Lonzo Ball's service motion.

zman said...

Leather and lace and sparkles. Gotta love that Russian sensibility.

rob said...

now imagining lonzo ball's service motion.

T.J. said...

Excellent cross-sport reference, z

TR said...

I would be more excited, Danimal, but I got excited by Hoosiers-Buckeyes last night, which proved uneventful. But Utah State looks much more potent on offense tonight.

More shocking is Rutgers feigning competence against Washington.

I just politely told the bartender I know he's pouring Johnny Red from his Johnny Black bottle. He did not receive it well and blamed it on Summer weather at the outside bar. But Johnny Red is shite. Little upside in pushing the issue, but what he's pouring has no caramel and no smoke to it. Bollocks.

rob said...

sharapova looks like an extra from the 'rhythm nation' video.

zman said...

Watch Kenin serve. Is Lonzonian. No one would ever teach someone to toss the ball like that.

T.J. said...

Just got my own out of office message from my GTB comment. #gheorgheception

rob said...

the toss is okay, although a bit too vertical, but the footwork post-toss seems odd. she has the toss of a six-footer, even though she's...not.

rob said...

and sharapova's gonna kill her

zman said...

You have to see it from behind or in front. The left arm crosses her body on the toss and releases it on the right side of her head. I have no idea how she gets the left shoulder out of the way to bring the right shoulder through. It's remarkably awkward and inefficient.

zman said...

Sharapova's serve is a model of efficiency. ESPN does tennis poorly but occasionally you'll get good complete coverage of a serve.

rob said...

that last sentence reminds me of something

rob said...

of the previous comment, obvs

rob said...

'maria likes rhythm, and she likes pace'. noted.

zman said...

She doesn't like awkward and inefficient.

rob said...

kenin hammers the ball. if she could serve...

zman said...

No pace, short balls. Sounds familiar.

TR said...

It's Maria. Miss Sharapova if ya nasty.

TR said...

Kinda cool of Maria to embrace her heel turn. If she plays with heart, the crowd will back her. But not against an American.

rob said...

mark saw kendrick tonight, didn't he? hope we get a review.

TR said...

Is it okay for a man to think things like "Cool. CiCi Bellis is 18 now?"

Asking on behalf of Marls. Thx.

zman said...

CiCi's dad would probably say no.

TR said...

Unrelated - the Colts traded a long snapper (Thomas Hennessy) a couple days ago. That bodes well for former Tribe LB Luke Rhodes. He was a final cut for the Bucs last year, but caught on w/ the Colts late in the season and played a few games. He has tried to add long-snapping to his bag of tricks. Would be good to see him chase Mike Leach's legacy.

TR said...

"Maria does not like low balls or short balls."

Sorry, Z.

zman said...

You got long balls Larry.

TR said...

Ken in' some barely an American. Born in Moscow! And she desparately needs a fashion consultant.

Big night for Hornibrook.

Mark said...

Long ball Larry!!!

I did see Kendrick tonight. Dope show. More to come soon.

Whitney said...

Cowboys filing appeal on Ezekiel Elliott suspension that says it "will cause the Cowboys irreparable harm." I'm biased against that degenerate franchise, but come on. That's a defense? He put hands on a woman multiple times. That he can't play a kids' game for millions of dollars means we aren't quite evolved enough that he isn't being flogged publicly.

Danimal said...

@sethabramson is a must read today (or whenever, you're adults) for the Trump/Russia story...written entirely in tweets and with links to other branches of the story. If you had the time and interest, it's a probably a half day worth of reading. The tweets only though requires about 30 min and is worth some of your Sat morning. How anyone can be his advocate, blood relation or not, is bewildering. I think most have always questioned his moral fiber but rarely, pre-candidacy anyway, did we hear about his intellect, or at least I didn't. I'll forego using the word that goes best here to avoid offense, but he is seriously mentally challenged. He is a fucking idiot.

Danimal said...

require

I am going to get some exercise. And then I might go get a fresh bottle of Tito's and Zing Zang. Happy Saturday bitches.

ps - will be a bit more difficult to root against UVa today, but not impossible.



rob said...

you're a good man, danimal, regardless of what whitney says

Whitney said...

Hey, Conrad Dobler, watch youraelf

zman said...

Maybe Brady wouldn't have been suspended if he hit women with footballs instead of deflating them. Sharapova, who is a woman, was suspended two years for accidentally taking a banned substance. They later reduced the ban to fifteen months. Different sports but these punishments seems wildly disparate.

Whitney said...

Convicted contract killer Rae Carruth gets out next October. If he's in prison shape, Jerry Jones will surely come a-callin'. I'm sure Carruth has caught a lot of balls in the joint.

TR said...

Accidentally? You're kidding, right, Zman? That was intentional doping fo sho.

Read this: https://www.google.com/amp/deadspin.com/i-doped-like-maria-sharapova-and-it-was-actually-pretty-1798352480/amp

TR said...

The Abramson stuff on Twitter is fascinating, but for fuck's sake, find a better delivery method than 200 tweets.

zman said...

Ok. Intentional doping. Still wildly disparate.

Danimal said...

How the hell is Carruth getting out of jail? Not cool. He and OJ should get their own reality show.

Danimal said...

Terrapins 30 Longhorns 14 at half. At Texas.

T.J. said...

In under 7 hours we board a plane for Scotland. GIDDY UP

TR said...

Less than 7 hours ago, I boarded a plane for Newark. I walked into my house at the end of its pre-renovation demolition. It was...unsettling.

Danimal said...

The Terps look pretty solid. Every time UT gets it close, they strike back w a TD. Though it is possible UT's D sucks.

Mark said...

I can't handle actual talented opponents to start the CFB season.

TR said...

Nor can the Gators, apparently.

Mark said...

Ugh. Offense is a shitshow. Again. As someone who cut his Gator teeth with Spurrier, this is especially cruel.

rob said...

if it makes you feel any better, the tribe's offense was pretty dismal today, too. as someone who cut his teeth with vintage laycock, this is especially cruel.