You Know What Today Is?

Neither did I.  But the Internet isn't just for spreading nasty stories about other people in hopes of exerting your political will over millions of humans any more.  It isn't even just for porn!  You can learn stuff.  Hey, the more you know.

Anyway, here's the deal.  December 25? Christmas.  January 1? New Year's Day.  March 17? Take off work and slug Guinness at the Dubliner Day (Known in some parts as the Saint Patrick's Day Massacre.)

September 26?  Glad you asked.  This day could never be just one holiday.  To wit:

Happy Lumberjack Day!
"Lumberjack Day celebrates the archetypal woodsman, the lumberjack. The day was created in 2005 as an excuse to eat pancakes and waffles with friends."

"It has grown to be celebrated all around the country, with people getting dressed up in plaid shirts and wearing beards, and even having lumberjack parties."  And, I'm quite sure, watching this age-old classic from the Python boys.

Happy National Dumpling Day!
It has been observed annually since 2015. Dumplings are becoming more popular all the time. They can be served as an appetizer or a part of the main meal. One of the beautiful things about dumplings is that the flavor and shape possibilities are endless.

"Celebrate by enjoying some dumplings with your friends or family. Perhaps as a part of dim sum."  (Not to be confused with our fearless leader, "dim always.") "Take photos and post them on social media using #NationalDumplingDay."  Note to TR: Read carefully -- this is not National Dumping Day.


Happy National Pancake Day!
"There is archaeological evidence suggesting pancakes are probably the earliest and most widespread breakfast food eaten in prehistoric societies. Pancakes are also known as flapjacks or hotcakes." Apparently an offshoot of National Lumberjack Day. Apparently both of these were offshoots from International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Man. People used to say I had too much time on my hands....

Head on over to Mama Steve's and have yourself a few silver dollars on GTB ('s recommendation).

One problem.  September is National Breakfast Month, and September 26th is also recognized as Better Breakfast Day. "For many families, breakfast is a low priority or not one at all. If you think you are saving time or cutting calories by skipping breakfast, think again! Making a healthy breakfast a part of your morning can get you (and your family) on track to make healthier choices through the day and curb overeating at other meals."  Oh, fate, you are such a fickle, cruel breakfast mate.

Happy National Voter Registration Day!
"National Voter Registration Day, which was started in 2012, is a holiday celebrating democracy in the United States, in which the goal is to make sure everyone has the opportunity to vote. Awareness is raised so that tens of thousands of people register to vote who may not be reached otherwise. Volunteers work on the ground and with technology and media to make sure this happens. The day is endorsed by the National Association of Secretaries of State and State Election Directors."

Dear lord, people, please be registered to vote come November.  Celebrate by registering a papal ballot tonight.

National Shamu the Whale Day!
"Shamu is the name that is used in several of the SeaWorld orca shows, and it is the stage name that is given to the “star” of those shows, beginning with the original Shamu in the late 1960s.

 Shamu died in 1971. However, the name Shamu was trademarked by SeaWorld and has been given to different orcas at various times when performing in Shamu shows in several SeaWorld parks."

...aaaaand if you saw the documentary Blackfish, none of this seems really cool any more.  Celebrate by watching the movie Orca instead.  Or make fun of GTB's most whale-like figure. Shut it.

Happy National Situational Awareness Day!

"The National Situational Awareness Day is observed annually on September 26th. Situational awareness is the foundation of one’s personal safety since it focuses on being aware and paying attention to your environment. Situational awareness is really just another word for mindfulness and developing it will make you more present in daily activities, which in turn helps you make better decisions in all aspects of life."

What?

"Pretty Loaded, LLC submitted this day in November of 2015."
Say no more.

Happy Johnny Appleseed Day!
"On National Johnny Appleseed Day, we honor the man who made apple (and pear) trees grow heavy with the bounty of their fruit across most of this country. On September 26, we commemorate the day of his birth and celebrate his legendary wit, wisdom and enduring story.

Johnny Appleseed Day is celebrated on either March 11th or September 26th. The September date is Appleseed’s acknowledged birth date."  Happy Birthday, Johnny!  Smoke up!

Celebrate by dressing up as this goober and eating apples.


---on the other end of the spectrum from Johnny Appleseed...---

Happy World Contraception Day!
"World Contraception Day takes place on September 26th every year. The annual worldwide campaign centers around a vision where every pregnancy is wanted. Launched in 2007, WCD's mission is to improve awareness of contraception and to enable young people to make informed choices on their sexual and reproductive health."

Enjoy all of these holidays, especially this one, with the theme song of World Contraception Day!

Happy Holidays!  God mock us, everyone.