Monday, January 25, 2016

Gheorghe Explains the Election: The Assholian Candidate

That Ted Cruz is an asshole is, at this point, accepted wisdom. Mother Jones today penned what is, to date, the most definitive study on the subject.

While close observers of the man might not be surprised by much in the MJ article, some will be struck by both the depth of hatred for the Texas Senator and the consistency over time of the opinions of others. Truly, this man has been a dick since high school, single-minded in his self-regard and self-promotion.

It would be impressive, would it not for the fact that he finds in this unique moment in our history a plausible (if, hopefully, still unlikely) path to the Presidency.

 From Mother Jones:

"Ted thought he was an expert on everything," says [a Bush 2000] campaign veteran, who asked not to be named. "He was a smart and talented guy, but completely taken with himself and his own ideas. He would offer up opinions on everything, even matters outside his portfolio. He was a policy guy, but he would push his ideas on campaign strategy. He would send memos on everything to everyone. He would come to meetings where he wasn't invited—and wasn't wanted." In fact, this Bush alum recalls, "the quickest way for a meeting to end would be for Ted to come in. People would want out of that meeting. People wouldn't go to a meeting if they knew he would be there. It was his inability to be part of the team. That's exactly what he was: a big asshole."

You could write that off as garden-variety, if somewhat obnoxious, political striving. We've all met that guy. Hell, the W&M Political Science department was overpopulated with him, and all of us have met him in any number of corporate settings. Cruz's assholery isn't bounded by your standard ambitious, upwardly climbing framework, though. It's deeper and more comprehensive.

In law school, as Mother Jones notes, "GQ reported that Cruz started a study group during his first year in Cambridge, but he announced that "he didn't want anybody from 'minor Ivies' like Penn or Brown." In an interview with the Boston Globe, another student recalled what happened when she agreed to carpool with Cruz: "We hadn't left Manhattan before he asked my IQ."

To be sure, Cruz was an asshole well before Harvard Law. As the Daily Beast points out in a 2013 profile that posits that he was both off-putting to many and well-liked in debate team circles, "In addition to [Cruz's freshman roommate Craig] Mazin and [freshman dormmate Erik] Leitch, several fellow classmates who asked that their names not be used described the young Cruz with words like “abrasive,” "intense," “strident,” “crank,” and “arrogant." Four independently offered the word “creepy,” with some pointing to Cruz’s habit of donning a paisley bathrobe and walking to the opposite end of their dorm’s hallway where the female students lived.

“I would end up fielding the [girls’] complaints: 'Could you please keep your roommate out of our hallway?'" Mazin says.

While all of these stories combine to paint a picture of an unpleasant guy, it remains hard to put into words the overall Cruz Affect. It's equal parts smarm, intellectual arrogance, and dangerous ambition. To borrow a word from German (and God Bless you industrious Teutons for your habit of creating evocative words), Cruz personifies backpfeifengesicht, which translates to "face that should be slapped".

We've been lauded for our work in explaining the election thus far, but I have no explanation for Ted Cruz. (Molly Ball's piece in The Atlantic today is a pretty good primer, though.) He's a man who will say and do anything to become President, to appeal to the baser instincts of the electorate - if there's a more cynical construction than, "We will utterly destroy ISIS. We will carpet bomb them into oblivion. I don’t know if sand can glow in the dark, but we’re going to find out," in this most cynical of electoral cycles, I've yet to hear it.

No, I can't explain this one. I can only be afraid of it. Ted Cruz scares the shit out of me. Naked, Machiavellian ambition on a global scale should scare the shit out of all of us.

31 comments:

zman said...

According to Mazin, Cruz had precisely one friend at Princeton:

“You either didn’t know Ted Cruz, you hated him, or you were David Panton,” said Craig Mazin, who was Cruz’s freshman-year roommate before Cruz left midyear to room with Panton. Mazin has been vocal about his dislike of Cruz.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/how-ted-cruzs-best-friend-drew-him-into-jamaican-politics-and-business/2016/01/22/5bc43d90-bade-11e5-829c-26ffb874a18d_story.html

rob said...

i would've been disappointed had mccain or romney won over obama, but i wouldn't have been afraid of what might happen - other than either/both of them cratering the economy. if cruz were to somehow become president, i'd be legitimately concerned about what that said about who we are as a people. i can't imagine a more divisive choice, even trump.

zman said...

I am convinced that all of these polls have some huge selection bias that screws them up. I refuse to believe that any normal person can look at or listen to Ted Cruz without being weirded out. Dude's weird, plain and simple. So the polls must be capturing the opinions of weirdos and donkeys. Same is probably true of the Democrat polls.

I lean left but would rather vote for a sane, qualified Republican than Hillary. I also have better shit to do than participate in polls, and I suspect there are lots of other similarly situated folks. I think (and hope) that these same people will, after the primaries, say "What the fuck happened here?!?" and vote for the closest available thing to a centrist.

rob said...

john kasich would like a word with you, zman

Danimal said...

Smarmy is Ted Cruz. He owns the word.

Shlara said...

I was surprised to learn that Cruz is my age. I assumed he was at least 15-20 years older than me

zman said...

Kasich is a goofy muhfuggah. And I'm not sure that he qualifies as sane. Seems kinda dim too. But otherwise he's great!

rob said...

you're rapidly running out of options

Dave said...

it's about time we started hating on people from the "minor ivies."

rob said...

i hate people from the university of richmond, which is a minor poor man's ivy.

zman said...

Which Ivies are minor? All but Harvard Yale and Princeton? Does Columbia sneak in?

rob said...

spurs/warriors tonight! long after i'll be in bed.

rob said...

i've read a lot of political commentary today. i'm deeply depressed. going to go stick my head in canada.

Danimal said...

Is that a euphemism Rob?

rob said...

i don't even know at this point, man

Danimal said...

Rob needs a hug. And to stop reading.

Mark said...

Also, does Rob go to bed at 9:30? I understand he won't be up to see the end of Warriors-Spurs but I find it hard to believe it will begin 'long' after he's in bed.

rob said...

dramatic license, mark.

Clarence said...

My dramatic license got revoked for being dramatic under the influence.

Clarence said...

Bernie Sanders... any shot? I seem to nod my head when he makes a point and shake my head when any of the other nimrods do.

rob said...

at the moment, the democratic establishment is doing a far better job of maintaining control over the proceedings that its gop counterpart. (even if - or because - the chair of the dnc is just as much of a dipshit as her republican colleague.) i'd still say bernie's a longshot. but the rules don't seem to apply right now, so i'm not saying it's impossible.

rob said...

r.i.p., abe vigoda. he never knew it, but he was the catalyst for one of the most epic jammings in lammie history. for that i'll always be grateful to him.

zman said...

You know I got rhymes like Abe Vigoda.

Clarence said...

Me, too, Rob. That was one of two amusing jamming stories I recall often, the other being when Dave matter of factly informed the brethren that they should like some kid because the three coolest brothers in the house had already spoken well of him. Within seconds, Dave's Rob's, and my heads were getting stuffed in the toilet in succession.

rob said...

dave wasn't wrong about who the three coolest brothers were, though

Clarence said...

Nope.

Dave said...

that's why they had to jam us. jealousy. if i were patently wrong, they would have just laughed.

rob said...

my kids' school district just announced that school has been cancelled for the rest of the week. fucking slackers.

TR said...

Westbrook is willing OKC back into the game in the 4th against a scrappy Knicks squad with his typical super-human effort. It's been cute to watch Jerian Grant and Langston Galloway and Afflalo give the Knicks the lead, but no way Russ lets his team lose.

TR said...

Russ has giveth and taken away, but KD has been unstoppable. 37 points, 13 4th quarter points, clutchness all the way around.

Danimal said...

Hi guys