Friday, July 10, 2015

The Duality of Man and Cars

For almost 30 years I've been following cars about as avidly as some of you follow sports. During that time I've seen some really cool cars and some really stupid cars, and I've realized that cars reflect the duality of man.



This duality extends to automotive accessories and features. One of, if not the, stupidest automotive trends ever is at its acme right now: matte black paint. Applying matte black paint to any car makes it look like shit. No cars look better in matte black. The other day I saw a Mercedes CLA45 with matte black paint and black rims in my parking lot. It costs over $50,000 and it's normally a pretty car. The one I saw looks like it has been beaten up and abraded all to hell. Here's the general idea.


Just plain stupid. On the other side of the duality coin, Tesla now equips their S P85D models with a feature called "Insane Mode." It does this (keep the volume down at work):



So if you're looking for a new car, get one that has shiny paint and Insane Mode.

54 comments:

TR said...

You got a fast car. I want a ticket to anywhere.

T.J. said...

Get outta my dreams
Get into my car

Mark said...

Who's the Bond villain sitting next to Becker in Djokovic's box?

Clarence said...

Sharif don't like it. Dead in Egypt.

Danimal said...

Should be called Crazy Insane mode.




TR said...

Crazy insane?

Insane?

Crazy?

I was nuts for the woman, man, you gotta believe me.

TR said...

Good to no there's no way the Wimbledon finals will disappoint. You have to root for Roger, right, now that Murray's got one?

rob said...

should be absurd mode. and/or grossly irresponsible mode. someone's getting run over by some asshole who can't control their vehicle as it goes 0-60 instantly.

zman said...

I like Roger the most out of the three guys standing, but it would make me a little sad to see him pass Sampras for most Wimbledon titles. I will root for him or Murray over Djokovic.

mayhugh said...

Believe Nissan had a similar feature on its GT-R for the first few years and then disabled it when people were treeing their $100K muscle cars. I've heard it is again an option on newer models, for whatever reason. People buying such cars should have to take another, harder, driving test.

zman said...

There are many stupidly fast cars out there rob, including the $40k Dodge Challenger Hellcat which has a 707 hp engine and hits 60 in 3.6 seconds. Many motorcycles are even faster than that. Getting run over by irresponsible assholes with fast vehicles is just the cost of doing business as a pedestrian in America.

rob said...

i can't really argue with that, z.

you know what did it to me, tr?

rob said...

federer and serena are marvels of nature. they shouldn't be able to do what they're doing at this level at their advanced ages, relatively speaking.

rob said...

the nfl is such a fucking clown show.

zman said...

Beating a woman and deflating balls are equivalent acts. The mushy balls are actually worse--4 games plus draft picks plus $1 million.

Whitney said...

Zman, Rob, et al, do you think Hardy's suspension should have been more -- considering the charges were dismissed? It looks for all the world like he paid her off, but without a conviction, should the NFL make determinations of its own above and beyond judge and jury? Had OJ been younger, would he have been back to playing ball after he was cleared of the Brown/Goldman murders? Legally / morally, is it acceptable for the league to decide the justice system got it wrong and enact their own punishment? Should Roger Goodell be Dexter?

Danimal said...

Whitney kinda makes it sound as if OJ actually killed those people.

In 10 days I get to head back to the other side of the world, China. There will likely be some binge watching going on during the hellish travel, but am not sure what to begin. Have thought about buying The Wire - haven't seen it. Any other recs out there? Have seen Dexter, G.O.T., Breaking Bad, Mad Men, House of Cards, some of VEEP yada yada.

TR said...

Small Wonder

#jamie

zman said...

Actually, a judge found Hardy guilty and he appealed. Under the peculiarities of North Carolinian civil procedure, the appeal sets the guilty verdict aside and puts the issue to a jury. After the appeal but before the jury trial, Hardy allegedly paid the woman off and although she testified before the judge, she would not appear at the jury trial so the prosecution had to drop the case. Thus Hardy got off. Seems like Hardy abused the system, although the NC system is pretty goofy to begin with.

The bench trial involved all the procedural and evidentiary standards that Hardy was due, and he was found guilty. I have no problem with the NFL punishing given the circumstances.

zman said...

Danimal, check out Peaky Blinders on Netflix. Stupid name, awesome show. We've been watching Johnathan Strange & Mr. Norrell on BBCAmerica, it's ok but not great, sort of like a smarter version of True Blood but still a bit dumb. I watched one episode of Mr. Robot and will watch another.

Danimal said...

Got it z.

A buddy of mine is coming over w a bottle of Pappy in a few minutes. I'm keeping my expectations tempered. No, I've never had it before....pappy virgin.

Danimal said...

Should I drink it with Ginger Ale or Sprite?

Mark said...

I see what Danimal did there.

Mark said...

Homeland, Peaky Blinders, Black Mirror (weird but good and each 1 hour episode is self contained), even Ray Donovan is worth a look.

Danimal said...

Blantons too....

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rob said...

the teej just gave me bulleit. i think he's trying to get me drunk.

also, danimal, you should think about the wire.

Mark said...

So much bourbon talk. Just returned from a trip to the store for bourbon where I saw a BMW i8 for the first time.

TR said...

Any Hilton Head gurus out there? TR and family heading there for a week. Second year in a row, but TR is still interested in any decent eating options. Gracias.

T.J. said...

Geoffrey can probably help with that.

Mark said...

I've been lazy and stubborn about upgrading my phone for the last couple of years. I finally did today. Didn't take me long to realize what a dope I've been.

Danimal said...

The i8 is lovely.

Hungover as a mother effer. Dayumm. Tr....if ok with driving about 20 min or so, make a reservation at one of the Inn at Palmetto Bluff restaurants.. I don't remember names. Give em a google and check it out. One of the better properties on our planet. Warning...your wife will make you take her there sans kids in the near future. But you're a baller so don't matter.

TR said...

Appreciate that, Danimal. We lack sitters for overnight growns-up type events, so I'm all clear.

And apologies to all in the vicinity of the restroom by Gate A28 at Newark. Not sure myself what just happened.

Dave said...

i like that matte black paint. peaky blinders is THE worst name for a show . . . but is "the blantons" a show as well? i tried to watch the first episode of "sense 8" but fell asleep . . . anyone seen it?

Danimal said...

The good news is I get to hang out at a swim meet all morning. Outside. Where it's hot and sunny.
A quick humblebrag...my boy just swam the IM medley relay for the 8 and under. He is the only 6 yr old...swims the anchor portion and has in the 4 events prior. Undefeated. Also undefeated in the freestyle solo which comes later. If he comes in second I will be yanking him out of the pool. It will be a scene. So wish him luck.

Danimal said...

Blantons is a bourbon Dave. We also had Willett last night. It's shit. The other two met expectations and then some.

Danimal said...

It's hot out.

Dave said...

ok, blantons is a better name for bourbon than a tv show. i banned my kids from swim team because of the format of the meets.

Marls said...

Youth sports would be so much cooler if there was an active gambling market for it.

rob said...

business opportunity, marls. get our top people on that.

Danimal said...

And couches.

Marls said...

Gheorghe: The Sportsbook

I'll take the Sunrise Silverfish laying 10.5 against the Melbourne Scrod.

mr kq said...

I've got Kidanimal in a moonshot contest today on Draft Kings.

Danimal said...

Kidanimal. I like that.

Danimal said...

Escape from Alcatraz tri on cbssn. On at midnight tonight as well for you enthusiasts.

Mark said...

I feel for Dan's future in the swim world. Those meets are interminable. A couple friends of mine in high school were high level swimmers who went on to swim at big D1 programs. The workload is ridiculous.

As for youth sports gambling, the Dade county youth football games are waaaay ahead of you guys.

Danimal said...

Maybe it's bc I've only done one season but it really wasn't that bad. Kind of enjoyed it. With 3 young'ns it's a great way to burn half a day. But boy was today painful. 3 first places for bugger...has surprised the hell out of us.

zman said...

zson punched me in the right testicle with sufficient force to drop me to my knees for a good minute and nine seconds. Just in time for another R**skins trademark post!

Mark said...

Five 13 year old girls spending the night in my home this evening. Pray for me.

Clarence said...

Lordy. Stay the course, Mark. 1000 points of light.

zman said...

No new taxes.

Mark said...

I bought a new air mattress and a couple decks of cards. Picked up pizza and such. Blew up said air mattress. Even bought a bunch of candy for a candy draft for the packs of wolves, er, girls. I'm done. Time for bourbon.

Clarence said...

Hope you all got your free Slurpees today. I forgot to remind you. There's always next year.

Mark said...

I did. Brought my 3 year old for her first ever. She wasn't in love with it. Stupid kid.