Monday, October 24, 2011

NFL Week 7 Recap, With A Twist

One of the greatest albums of all time, in this humble scribe's opinion. And yesterday's NFL scores. Enjoy.

NY Jets 27, San Diego 21
"Time to Get Ill"
"Went outside my house - I went down to the deli, I spent my last dime to refill my fat belly..."
It's an easy joke, but seriously Rex, have you thought about wearing lesser fitting shirts?

Kansas City 28, Oakland 0
"No Sleep till Brooklyn"
"Our manager's crazy - he always smokes dust, He's got his own room at the back of the bus.."
Hue Jackson, coach of the Raiders, called the trade for Carson "Pick Six: Palmer" a "great trade". Sure, bro.

Chicago 24, Tampa Bay 18
"Rhymin & Stealin"
"We got maidens and wenches - man they're on the ace, Captain Bly is gonna die when we break his face..."
The Bucs were awful yesterday. This one really makes no sense, except I want to work with the pirate theme. Sue me.

Carolina 33, Washington 20
"The New Style"
"Got rhymes that are rough and rhymes that are slick, I'm not surprised you're on my dick..."
Auburn fans, Panthers fans, and anyone that saw Mr. Newton make fools of Redskins' defenders Sunday afternoon.

Denver 18, Miami 15 (OT)
"Posse In Effect"
"I'm schoolin' in the boys' room - coolin' by the locker All the girls in class know that I'm the cool rocker..."
"Rocker" in this instance means coolest God Squad guy around, riiiight?

Green Bay 33, Minnesota 27
"Girls"
Well I'm cruising, I'm bruising - I'm never ever losing, I'm in my car - I'm going far and dust is what I'm using..."
Aaron Rodgers, video game quarterback. Maybe someone on the Vikings just realized Greg Jennings was open.

Dallas 34, St. Louis 7
"Slow and Low"
"It's never old school - all brand new, So everybody catch - the bugaloo flu..."
I am now nicknaming Cowboys rookie running back DeMarco Murray the "Bugaloo Flu".
New Orleans 62, Indianapolis 7
"Paul Revere"
"I did it like this, I did it like that, I did it with a whiffleball bat..."
Scoreboard.

Atlanta 23, Detroit 16
"Fight for Your Right"
"Man living at home is such a drag, now your mom threw away your best porno mag (Busted)..."
This is actually what Lions' defensive lineman were saying to Matt Ryan yesterday when he injured his ankle. It's also the quote several dumbass lacrosse kids submitted to the yearbook my senior year for a poor schlep who had no clue until the yearbooks were handed out.

Cleveland 6, Seattle 3
"Slow Ride"
All the fly ladies are making a fuss, But I can't pay attention - 'cause I'm on that dust..."
This lyric can apparently apply to every offensive player on the browns and Seahawks. What the F were you people doing for 60 minutes yesterday?

Houston 41, Tennessee 7
"She's Crafty"
We got into the cab - the cab driver said, He recognized my girlie from the back of her head..."
I'll let you decide if the cab drive is the Texans or the Titans. You're smart folks, I think you'll get it.

Pittsburgh 32, Arizona 20
"Hold It, Now Hit It"
"I'm down with Mike D. and it ain't no baloney, for real, not phony - "O.E." and Rice-a-Roni..."
Harro, Hines Ward.


27 comments:

T.J. said...

Terrible grammar, poorly spellchecked, jokes that suck so much they elicit no replies. Yep, I sure know how to bring 'em in...

Jerry said...

Cleveland is far and away the most boring team to watch in the NFL.

zman said...

For Miami I would've said "Jockin bill Cowher to my dismay" but that's just me.

T.J. said...

Worst. Post. Ever.

rob said...

mini summit at the college delly with igor about to commence

zman said...

The post idea is strong, you just needed more time to execute. I think any summit with rob is a mini summit, no?

T.J. said...

It was obviously a terrible post. This is why I don't try. Well, I'm lazy and suck at the craft, but your apathy dopesnt help.
/fist shake

rob said...

worst monday night game ever?

T.J. said...

How'd the mini summitt go? Were you tall enough to order a draft?

T.J. said...

Tony LaRussa is a crazy asshole

T.J. said...

RUMad Ray Lewis?
/fudoublemurderer

Danimal said...

Just left Jags parking lot. Busses pulling in for Fla ga. Game.I want that.

TR said...

I would like to extend my sincer thanks to the Jaguars for putting a bad loss on the Ravens. Jets may need that to squeak into the playoffs.

Next request is for the Steelers to woodshed the Pats. How is Pittsburgh getting points at home? That line's gotta move, right? Big Ben should be able to light it up against that D.

TR said...

The next time you find your self wallowing in self-pity, be thankful you are not this guy:

http://tinyurl.com/63hhp65

T.J. said...

Danimal, that Jags stadium blows.

T.J. said...

West Virginia just left the Big East for the Big 12.

Adios, conference formerly know as the Big East.

T.J. said...

Teej on the radio, if anyone cares:

http://cbsloc.al/uxSs4n

Igor said...

Mini-summit with Mini-me was good. Sat at the outside bar at the Delly, drank Fat Tire, watched WS and MNF. Discussed Rob's upcoming summit at Disney with Dave and Mark, possible wedding gifts for our engaged GTBer, and how disappointed the guests at a friend's upcoming 40th party will be if my "getting a band" means I opt to just bring my guitar.

Old rugby coach Cary was sitting at the bar when we walked in. Always good for a chuckle.

zman said...

I got my new driver license today and they screwed it up, there's a photo of some double-chinned balding old dude on it. No idea who he is.

T.J. said...

Mark, Earnest Graham is indeed done for the year with tron Achilles.

Danimal said...

Teej....was your Jags stadium (everbank field) comment geared towards the stadium itself or people in the stadium?

Danimal sleepy. Jags are nice.

T.J. said...

Stadium itself...I was there for Florida/Georgia a couple years ago, with Mark, Jerry, some thers you don't know.

The upper deck was rough.

Danimal said...

upper deck? what's that?

Mark said...

It's a Tron achilles? Oh good, that's so much better than a torn achilles.

Dave said...

that's paradoxical old delhi and new delhi . . . drinking fat tire outside (new delly) with kerry (old delly). weird.

T.J. said...

I tore my tron achilles getting off the lightcycle.

T.J. said...

What a shitty night of televised sports. Back to extreme couponing.