Friday, November 12, 2010

van der Waals Redux: Futility Bowl 2010

The Detroit Lions have lost 24 consecutive road games, tying the league record the Lions set in 2001-2003. Away from their home field, the Lions are as van der Waalsian a force as the league has ever seen. The Bills are still a movable object of Port-a-Johnian proportions.

The Lions play the Bills at Buffalo on Sunday.

I won't bother to bore you any further with statical metrics of these teams's collective futility. Simply put, Detroit cannot win on the road and Buffalo cannot win. I don't see how either team can win this game.

Fortunately, the cities of Buffalo and Detroit are prospering despite the recession, so their citizens have other things to buoy their spirits.

Final score: 5-5.



51 comments:

Danimal said...

bills -3 o/u 44
lions

Danimal said...

have been wondering lately if dave is going to review "the situation's" new book on s.o.d. . they are new jerseyian brothers and all.

Marls said...

What makes the faux tat sleeve from the previos post even worse is the Icelanders current 8 game skid.

Fishsticks indeed.

As for the polar bear plop, I may be in.

T.J. said...

Is Roydell Williams the most useless WR in the league? I think he just might be.

T.J. said...

So Mark, Danimal and Mayhugh are partying together this weekend in America's Wang?

Dave said...

i will get "the situation's" book and review it, because it will be easier than zoltan's allusions-- port a johnian?

i did love the post though-- i read it out loud in the office and stacy laughed.

Dave said...

i just got port-a-johnian but i'm a little fuzzy on van der waals-- is that the force that holds molecules together.

zman said...

I guess you didn't read my last Bills preview. It discussed the paradox of the irresistable force and the immovable object, only the Bears offense was totally resistable, and hence weak like van der Waals forces, and the Bills offense was completely movable, and hence portable like a port-a-potty.

zman said...

Actually, the Bills' defense is the port-a-potty. I'm mixing my metaphors. Or something like that.

T.J. said...

ODU/Gtown and UVA/Tribe tonite. College hoops baby.

Danimal said...

Uuuh.....and JMU KSTATE.....

Mark said...

Florida vs. the Ghost of Brett Blizzard (aka UNC-Wilmington).

mayhugh said...

I haven't gotten the invite to hang out at Danimal Kingdom (I'll save TJ the effort and just say McBad).

Igor said...

Zman! Excellent linkage to bls.gov. Nice to see the Bureau of Labor Statistics getting some pub for something other than "the place that facilitated my functional alcoholism for a dozen years."

zman said...

I like using stats in my Bills previews and figured that unemployment rates would be an interesting wrinkle this time around, given the "cities" involved.

Danimal said...

danimal kingdom is closed for the season. nothing to see here really. there was and is the possibility that mark and i may meet up for a quick beer & gtb summit at jags game. that has become less likely with the family now coming with. maybe a halftime brewdawg in...wait for it....THE BUD ZONE!!!! mayhugh - if you're in the jacksonville/jacksonville beach/ponte vedra area tomorrow, i'll be at bed bath and beyond with frank the tank all morning. the bonus is that this is quite possibly my last wkd as a father of only one child, that i can claim.

Danimal said...

i love you honey bunny, in case you're reading. missin you like crazy!

Greg said...

Make it happen Danimal and Mark. And I want a transcript of the conversation where you explain how you know each other.

Mark said...

Who are we explaining this to, Greg? Dan and I know how we know each other?

Also Greg...would you like to text me about Atlanta's helmets again?

rob said...

what did greg think of atlanta's helmets? i quite fancied their old school look.

rob said...

i'm typing on a laptop while riding in a car on i-95. the future is awesome, bitches.

TR said...

I just saw my 4th stache in NYC that bore an uncanny resemblance to a Movember stache. All looked to be about 2 weeks old. Each dude was rocking the stache solo, not going weak with a goatee or beard until final trimmage.

I am very proud that I found four dudes making this happen. Unfortunately, being 4 weeks into a new job makes my participation unlikely and/or unwise.

Danimal said...

yeah, i might feel a tad strange explaining to someone, while sipping a tasty one at....THE BUD ZONE!!!, that mark and i met ON A BLOG. but i'm just fratty enough to do it though. i'm crazy!

but then, the next question is inevitably - what's the BLOG? well...uh, it's called GHEORGE THE BLOG.
....huh?
GHEORGE....THE BLOG. and on and on and on...FUCK. THAT. as how the teej would say.

is it beerthirty yet?

Marls said...

Welcome to the 21st century Rob.

I am typing this on my phone on a flight from San Antonio to Dallas. Not that that is very impressive anymore either.

Anybody want some half priced Wade Phillips gear from the Cowboys store at DFW? Maybe the official WP manboob friendly golf shirt?

zman said...

Don't tell anyone that you and Mark met online, unless you want people to think you're trolling for guys on match.com.

Danimal said...

every guy knows that match.com is not the place to go for sausage fishin

rob said...

just heard survivor's 'burning heart' on the radio. that's top 10 all-time on the processed cheese chart.

zman said...

I guess The Danimal does his man hunting on manhunt.com.

Igor said...

Radio? Rob really is in the future.

TR said...

Radio Robheem?

zman said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShgXC62a09o

Dave said...

i love chatting with guys on line. at a place named "gheorghe." i never realized quite how that sounded until now.

rob said...

tribe tipoff!

rob said...

tribe hanging in, odu once again giving gheorghetown all they want

TR said...

UVA was only favored by 4. I think that says more about their program than it does ours.

TR said...

Boise's run of Friday night lights kicks off soon. I can't wait for the Nevada game in two weeks.

Danimal said...

Earlier today I said that this wkd was likely my last as a father of one. That was actually last wkd.
Is the jmu game on?

rob said...

i think congratulations are in order for the fandanimaly. i'm gonna get drunk in honor of your virility.

Danimal said...

Get liggered. Going to be several more hours but that shouldn't and probably wont stop you.

Danimal said...

Boise!

rob said...

not the second half the wrens needed. jmu/k state is on espnu.

and chris petersen really doesn't like idaho.

Lumpy said...

Seems like time warner has every bball game except tribe/uva tonite.

Dukes hangin tough in manhattan

rob said...

idaho really, really sucks on offense

Lumpy said...

Seems like time warner has every bball game except tribe/uva tonite.

Dukes hangin tough in manhattan

Lumpy said...

Did stetson beat wake?

rob said...

by 10 gallons.

sorry.

Lumpy said...

Well played

rob said...

kevin love has 31 points and 31 boards with a minute left

Lumpy said...

Sounds like baskin robins is gonna have to name a flavor after him

Danimal said...

Danimal has to start saving up for a wedding. Donations welcome. Grace is here about 25 days early and comes in at a squirrel-like 4 lbs and 13 oz and 19 inches long. She says hi.

rob said...

congratulations, danimal. big ups.