Tuesday, April 01, 2008

The Greatest Thing in the History of Ever

In our 4+ years here at G:TB, we've carved out a nice, if obscure, little niche celebrating the silly, sublime, and sub-popular. We've entertained dozens, though we've mostly entertained ourselves. Nothing in our thoroughly enjoyable blogging experience, though, prepared us for what we learned this morning.

A co-worker of mine is the daughter of Romanian immigrants (and a stunning Eurobabe, apropos of nothing). She knows of my love for all things Gheorghe, so in her. considerable kindness and wisdom (have I mentioned the fact that she's ridiculously hot?) she sent me a story today from the Gazeta de Cluj. A careful reading of the following agate type knocked us flat on our collective backsides, spasms of unexpected joy taking us on an extraordinary rendition to the innocence of youth. To wit:
Format NBA superstar Gheorghe Muresan tren cu local club parte U Mobiltelco înăuntru a prepara pentru un attempted întoarcere la American professional league. Muresan joc lui ultimul NBA joc pentru art.hot. Nou Jersey Nets înăuntru 2000 şi art.hot. league's Most Improved Joc înăuntru 1995-96. Denver Nuggets oficial Mark Warkentian, "El a trage cu cu mare touch. O mulţime de parte a putut află cameră înăuntru lor rotation pentru Muresan."
Courtesy of InterTran, that translates (hilariously, and frankly, stupendously) to:
Shaped NBA superstar Gheorghe Muresan has been training with local club side U Mobiltelco in prepared for an attempted return at American professional cradle. Muresan game him last NBA game for the networks of New Jersey in 2000 and was the league's Sample Improved Game in 1995-96. Denver Nuggets official Mark Warkentian said, "It always had glorious contact. Of series of commands could use a guy as it in their rotation."
It always had glorious contact, indeed. Boys and girls, listen very carefully: Gheorghe. Is. Coming. Back. And we're bursting with completely undeserved glee.

He just turned 37, but he's at least 10 years younger than Dikembe Mutombo. He was never in great condition, but he had a pretty complex experimental foot surgery a few years ago to alleviate the discomfort that caused him to retire in the first place, and if he's pain-free, he could give a team 15 minutes a night of competent offense, decent rebounding, and stationary defense. Dude led the league in field goal percentage twice, and averaged 10 points and 6 boards a game for his career. Keith Van Horn just got handed $4.5 million to sit on the bench and stare at the teased hairdos in the stands in Jersey. Why not Gheorghe?

This is, indeed, the greatest thing in the history of ever, and number two (a tie between cheese and the sound of sneakers on a basketball court) is well back in the distance. It's safe to say that we'll be tracking this development with some interest.

Holy Crap. You think we can get an interview out of this?

42 comments:

Whitney said...

I enjoy that your colleague knows that you love Gheorghe. That's not something that would come up in many workplaces.

Michael Jack said...

You got any pictures of your hot Romanian co-worker?

rob said...

you may be right, whit, but the world would be a better place if he was the topic of more conversations. he came up in this case because i was making awkward smalltalk with my colleague and he was the only thing i knew about romania.

travis said...

hey buddy,
do you know who I am? I am the spammer. I want you to visit my history blog. History on anything that I find interesting. I know you like history here. I read the title of your blog posts. Greetings, buddy.

Ciao

rob said...

swint, meet my co-worker ciao. she knows you like history. history on anything she finds interesting. you can find pictures on her website.

and i'll email you a few if i can get them from our corporate communications team without sounding completely skeevy.

rob said...

man, would i like to be los angeles today. chavez ravine looks magnificent.

rob said...

my boy eric byrnes just went yard. nice.

Whitney said...

You would like to be Los Angeles?? Why, so Leonardo DiCaprio and George Clooney would be in you?

travis said...

Hey rob,

check out my site. I am capable of writing a post on anything historic, you name it. Give me any unknown obscure subject and I will write you an interesting historical post about it. I am the historian. Check out my site to see what I am talking about.

ciao

rob said...

it's 47 degrees and rainy where i am right now. it's 65 and sunny in l.a. with baseball being played under cerulean skies. a little gay cuddling would be a small price to pay.

rob said...

scary-smartest. bot. ever.

or is it?

T.J. said...

Ciao, you might be the historian, but are you the gate keeper? Are you the key master?

T.J. said...

"Message CM42...let's pay some hookers to knock our junk around"

travis said...

No, I suck at sports. Maybe I am on the wrong blog. Sorry for wasting your time.

rob said...

mark, you pumped for the rematch with ohio state?

rob said...

if you're robin lopez, wouldn't you stay for another year to get out of your brother's shadow? his draft stock can't be that high right now.

of course, if you're robin lopez, you're reading this while wearing a single glove and listening to the 20th anniversary 'thriller' reissue, so conventional logic may not mean a great deal to you.

Mark said...

I'm just focused on UMass right now Rob. One game at a time.

As for Robin Lopez, I think his lack of offensive game becomes a more glaring weakness without his brother to deflect defensive attention. He had a good NCAA Tourney and is unlikely to ever be a lottery pick . So, its not all that bad a decision overall.

rob said...

you think he gets drafted?

Mark said...

Yeah, I do. He's a good energy guy and rebounds and blocks shots at a pretty high rate. I'd say early 2nd round.

rob said...

i'd like to see him and scot pollard on the same team. pollard would be a terrific influence on lopez' hairstyle progression.

rob said...

sean sutton's out at ok state - that didn't take long. guess it sucks to get on t. boone pickens' bad side.

rob said...

that, or espn and cbs got sucked into the second lamest april fool's joke on the web.

zman said...

Sean Levert died.

What's up with the hot eastern European woman? They all love Hungarian men.

T.J. said...

Kudos to Zoltan for boozing with me at a fantastic dive bar last night in Back Bay.

T.J. said...

Ben Gordon is British?

Mark said...

He's got a grandma that's British or something. I think you have to beat at least 1/8 (or maybe 1/4) of that nationality genetically to be eligible. Thats how/why Chris Kaman is trying to get on the German national team.

The rules are really, really weird on this, Russia's PG (JR Holden) in last year's Euro Championships (which they won) is from Philly and played at Duquesne but has a Russian passport for international basketball purposes.

rob said...

gordon was actually born in london before moving to the states as an infant. with him and deng, that team just got half-way decent.

T.J. said...

Hey Tom Crean - good luck minus all five starters next year.

Mark said...

I think its a good hire for Indiana but they better give him some time, especially if there are any sanctions. If that happens, we're looking at a Butch Davis-Miami level rebuilding project.

T.J. said...

Nuggets/Suns is 70 to 65...at the half.

rob said...

that's 18 points fewer than the suns scored in their previous half.

T.J. said...

An excellent point Robert...I had forgotten that.

rob said...

not that i care all that much, but i would like to see the suns win it all.

Greg said...

The eligibility rules for international sports on who's allowed to play for a national team are stretched quite a bit. In rugby, foreigners (non-citizens) can be on the US team if they have a green card, or have lived here for a period of time (like 3 years or so).

Dave said...

when you say "love" gheorghe what do you mean, exactly? in the romanian sense or in the greek sense?

zman said...

Does it bother anyone else that yesterday was the last opening day game ever at Yankee Stadium? Would the Cubs ever tear down Wrigley? Would the Red Sox ever tear down Fenway? It feels wrong.

Mark said...

No, those organizations probably wouldn't tear down their stadiums but thats because they're organizations with a soul and a sense of history that extends beyond braggadocio.

T.J. said...

Yep, just like your Cardinals with Busch Stadium, right?

Greg said...

If Dan Snyder bought the Cubs, I guarandamntee you Wrigley would be torn asunder.


I think I'm more bothered about the whole Seattle SuperSonics moving to Oklafuckinghoma City.

Mark said...

Rob...C'mon.

Was Busch Stadium a landmark on par with Yankee Stadium or Wrigley Field? Fuck and no. It was a multi-purpose stadium like all the shitboxes built in the 60's. It had just been refurbished extensively and hadn't been let go to the extent of Veterans or Three Rivers stadiums or any others from that era.

rob said...

hey, man, i'm enjoying this. i got a particular chuckle out of your original response. it's funny 'cause it's true.

Whitney said...

Fenway was built in 1912. Wrigley in 1916.

Yankee Stadium opened in 1976.

At least this version of it. I'm sure the new stadium will attempt to recreate the House That Ruth Built vibe just the same as Yankee Stadium II did.