I'm sure most everyone has tuned out by now, but I'm having too much fun with this nonsense to stop now. In a nutshell, Mike Mussina has finally lost it, serving up more runs recently than a drunken Whitney in his doubleheader-pitching heyday...and I am just the guy to find my beloved Yankees a "suitable" replacement for Moose in their rotation. Our final candidate (for today at least) makes C.C. Sabathia look slender, leading to serious concerns from management about his stamina, but I'm pretty sure what "The Clown Prince of Hip-Hop" lacks in athleticism he makes up for in clubhouse presence. I imagine he and Shelley Duncan will get along just fine...
Showing posts with label Don't Cry For Me Mike Mussina. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Don't Cry For Me Mike Mussina. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Rotation Replacement Roulette Continues
A reminder of what the hell I'm talking about:
Mike Mussina took the mound last night, his job clearly on the line despite what he may think, and supplied this piss-poor line:
3 IP, 6 ER, 9 hits, 1 BB, no strikeouts
For those scoring at home, in his last three starts Moose has allowed 19 ER in 9.2 innings pitched - an asinine 17.69 ERA. With that being said, I am attempting to find a suitable replacement for him in the Yankee rotation. Our next qualified candidate most definitely is in the shape required to be a starter, shaking his stuff on the catwalk for hours on end, but I fear his ego might get the best of him, as he most definitely feels he is too sexy for the rotation, the pitching mound and Yankee Stadium in general...
Mike Mussina took the mound last night, his job clearly on the line despite what he may think, and supplied this piss-poor line:
3 IP, 6 ER, 9 hits, 1 BB, no strikeouts
For those scoring at home, in his last three starts Moose has allowed 19 ER in 9.2 innings pitched - an asinine 17.69 ERA. With that being said, I am attempting to find a suitable replacement for him in the Yankee rotation. Our next qualified candidate most definitely is in the shape required to be a starter, shaking his stuff on the catwalk for hours on end, but I fear his ego might get the best of him, as he most definitely feels he is too sexy for the rotation, the pitching mound and Yankee Stadium in general...
Because I’m tired of looking at...
...LeVar Burton, I figured I'd submit my first candidate to replace "Don't Cry For Me" Mike Mussina in the Yankees rotation (despite what Mike thinks of himself**, he is going to get replaced...at this point, even Carl Pavano looks like a decent alternative). On the plus side, Jimmy the Greek said that since this candidate is Hispanic he'll be good at baseball. Of course, on the flip side, candidate numero uno will most likely get tossed from virtually every game he plays in due to the oil and lotion that drips on the ball each inning. Enjoy the bullpen Moose...
**Mussina's ego might even be bigger than his ERA. When the New York Times questioned Musina about possibly being replaced in the rotation, his retort was "Who are they going to replace me with?"
**Mussina's ego might even be bigger than his ERA. When the New York Times questioned Musina about possibly being replaced in the rotation, his retort was "Who are they going to replace me with?"
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