Tuesday, August 12, 2025

Heinz You Doin?

You Are Looking Live!!!!

Well, not really. This is an image I took from my car window just an hour ago at the local Smoothie King I patronize a few times a week. My frequent order is a Peanut Power Plus, chocolate flavor. Tasty, filling, fast. It's my jam. 

As I approached the order kiosk, I did so with wonder, curiosity and a little bit of anxiety. Would my Smoothie King be one of the select few promoting the Heinz Tomato Ketchup Smoothie, the same smoothie tens of people first read about right here on GTB just yesterday?! 

Indeed it is. And I did. 

After handing my Smoothie Queen payment, she informed me that I was the first at this location to order said smoothie. I asked if she had tried it - "no" was her answer. Not a great sign. But she added, "You can't really taste the ketchup, it's just a little bit tart." Okay, I can handle tart. 

Filled with pride and a smile to go with, I inserted straw and thought it through....let's just go with a tiny little sip. She wasn't yanking my chain. The ketchup is almost but not entirely indiscernible. Maybe a dollop of a dollop? The acai, apple juice, strawberries and raspberries (why isn't it rasBerries?) -yup, can taste them all. The ketchup, not so much. And that's a good thing. 

Will I order again? No. But I did finish without problem. It isn't terrible, it isn't bad. It's mid, as the kids these days say. Rating? Six Rotten Tomatoes out of 10.



7 comments:

  1. It’s this kind of investigative journalism that makes GTB the hub of the universe.

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  2. as i told danimal earlier, not all heroes wear capes.

    and don't think we didn't catch the reference to your smoothie queen. danimal always a smooth operator. pun very intended.

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  3. tonight's comedy selection: jim jefferies' new special. quite a departure from mike birbiglia, but funny as shit in its own inappropriate way. i contain multitudes.

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  4. Kudos to Dan for going after this product and especially for chronicling its consumption. Goooood shit.

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  5. Speaking of good shit, I had a joyful night watching Pete Alonso hit his Mets-all-time-leading 253rd (and 254th) home run tonight. Love that guy.

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  6. Way to take one for team GTB, Danimal!

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