Friday, March 18, 2022

Bite Me, Mike Tyson?

Here's a sentence I read online this week:

"Mike Tyson's cannabis company is releasing an ear-shaped edible called "Mike Bites" almost 25 years after he famously bit off a chunk of Evander Holyfield’s ear."

There may be other sentences more purpose-written to elicit a response from this blog*, but that one's got a lot going for it: the weird and enigmatic Tyson, one of the strangest sporting moments in our lifetimes, the fact that I was 28 when that happened (passage of time, man, damn), edibles (most definitely edibles).

*Bert and Ernie gave Nathan Knight the key to Sesame Street after the W&M hoops coach led the school to its first NCAA Tournament bid, for example.

Here's a surpassingly weird Fox Business hit that starts with a shoutout to the genuinely heroic Klitschko brothers and pivots to convicted rapist/oddly rehabilitated hipster darling and weed entrepreneur Tyson shilling edibles after a tour through Mike's willingness to fight one of the brothers for charity. Read the room, loon-ass Fox host.


Tyson has spoken frequently of how cannabis has helped him deal with anxiety and provided mental clarity. According the Mike, "Cannabis has changed me for good both mentally and physically, and I want to share that gift with others who are also seeking relief." His Tyson 2.0 brand seems to be a serious player in the weed market. And as marketing stunts go, using one of his worst moments to generate interest is a nice bit of jiu-jitsu. 

Mike Bites are available in Nevada and California at the moment. They'll be on the market in Massachusetts soon. And I'm hoping that I might have a free second or two in a few weeks when I'm flying in and out of Denver to swing into a local and ask for them by name. 

See you at OBFT.

26 comments:

Whitney said...

In Delray Beach, FL with the old man. Just had some stone crabs. I can’t imagine ever growing tired of eating them. Cheers.

rob said...

mark it down, todd golden is gonna win some shit in gainesville

Mark said...

I sure hope so, Rob. As you know, we exchanged texts on my thoughts on the Florida program last weekend. Football school or not, you can win big at Florida. That’s a proven fact. I really hope Golden is the answer.

And I know we’ve had this discussion before Whitney, but stone crabs and Delray are a hell of a combo. Give me a heads up the next time you’re heading down that way. I’ll make the 2 hour drive.

Juan Carlos said...

You just missed my daughter who came back from Dem Ray with a massive sunburn.

rob said...

dem ray is what biden used to steal the 2020 election

Whitney said...

Mark, I’ll take you up on that.

And this Carolina/Baylor game. Getting rough.

Whitney said...

Wow. Baylor flops like a soccer team. Pathetic.

Whitney said...

No offense, Rob.

And the refs took over this game with 10 minutes to go and have held onto it like a dog with a bone. Not a fan.

rob said...

girls soccer players don't flop.

Whitney said...

I meant the “men.”

Whitney said...

Just jumped in the ocean. Water here in FL is 76°. Today’s a day that I get jealous of where Mark lives.

Mark said...

Sitting in the New Orleans airport waiting on a massively delayed flight. Missing that warm Florida water right now. My liver is missing water in general.!

OBX dave said...

Hey Mark, interested in your thoughts on Holmgren. Do you think he's potential unicorn, a la Durant, LeBron, Magic, or does his game and talents remind you of someone else?

Whitney said...

Chris Lykes should get a Bite Me, Randy Newman

Dave said...

Holyfield should get a piece of the profits on that item, right?

rob said...

was in a hurry (and slightly morning-after groggy) earlier, and whacked my car’s quarter panel on a cement pillar in a parking garbage while backing out of a spot. my kid delighted in calling me a dumbass. i had no comeback, as in that moment I was a dumbass.

Whitney said...

when she’s right, she’s right

Dave said...

i get it rob: if i had to terminate a possible pregnancy with a plan-B pill, i might whack a cement pillar as well . . .

zman said...

What's a parking garbage?

rob said...

me, apparently

Mark said...

Dave- sorry for the delay. Didn’t pull into my driveway until 2 am last night. I’m a Holmgren fan and, as a Magic fan, have spent a lot of time imagining him at the next level. I get the concerns with him and his frame (slumped, thin shoulders- how does he look/move when he puts on weight?).

I’m more intrigued with his two way ability. He protects the rim (maybe not as a defensive anchor but as a roamer- ala Robert Williams for the Celtics this season- who causes havoc and gets weak side blocks). He shoots it great and that will only get better as he ages and gets more reps/coaching, which makes him a threat as a pick and pop guy. He also has tremendous grab and go ability from the defensive boards to offense because he has a legit handle. And, he’s tough as hell. So, yeah, I’m a fan.

Not saying he’s Durant (who is?) but I remember all the hand wringing about his lack of strength too.

Whitney said...

I saw a snake walking down the street today. Scratch that. I saw a snake when I was walking down the street today. That made me not jealous of living near where Mark lives. Not that we don’t have them in Virginia, but I’m not seeing them on a regular basis. Yikes.

Whitney said...

Last day of vacay. Sad! (Sorry, I have been near Dumb Donald’s place and it can rub off.)

rob said...

if someone doesn’t post something by the time I’m back home in 4 hours, well, i guess i’ll have nothing new to read, dammit.

Whitney said...

I nominate Dave

Dave said...

i just got home from tennis practice and catherine is at spin class, so i've got to feed some hungry children. maybe i'll get inspired after dinner . . .