Wednesday, October 02, 2019

The $6.9 Million Dollar Man

Howdy folks. Wanted to give an update on my feeble spine, which continues to give me problems two months after a herniated disc first flared up. After visiting several orthopedists, I decided to follow the lead of the Hospital for Special Surgery in NYC, the top orthopedic surgery spot in Gotham. I will get a discectomy, which is the insertion of an artificial disc. It's a real fun procedure. They cut a 2" opening into your neck, push our esophagus out of the way, take out the damaged disc and put in a titanium replacement. And I'm not getting just any replacement. I'm getting the MOBI-C. It's what is recommended for folks that are not too decrepid and sedentary. The use of titanium replacements is relatively new, so there are no long-term case studies to review. So I'll be winging it, I guess. A pic of where they will slice my neck and push my esophagus to the side is below.


In a related note, my surgeon graduated high school in 2002. That is not a typo. But his pedigree is pretty ridiculous. And the googles also say he was a nationally ranked sculler to boot. His bio is here if you want to peruse it and feel inferior about your life achievements so far. Click through his education history and research history to see everything he's done. But if you want to feel better, you can remind yourself that he probably never chugged beer from Juan Carlos' epic eight-man frat-a-pus funnel or played Z. So we got that going for us, which is nice.

Surgery is set for Thursday 10/17. One night in hospital, one week out of work, and then aggressive PT. The hope is to remove numbness and the weakness in my right side. I can do a grand total of one push-up these days, given the disc is pushing into my C7 nerve root, making my right side feeble and my index finger quite numb.

Thanks in advance for the rehashed masturbation jokes! I'll try to send some photos from the procedure. Pray for me that I will get a catheter.

46 comments:

rob said...

godspeed, tr. no pictures of the catherization, please.

hurry back, as usa rugby looks like they could use you. lost to france, 33-9, today in japan. the good guys had the frenchies a little scared, drawing to within 12-9 in the 64th minute before running out of gas.

zman said...

None of that sounds like fun. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help while you recover. Tiara keeps texting me asking for Hungarian salami, do you want me to run over to Barth’s and pick up some stuff?

T.J. said...

so in perusing very little of this, basically TR is becoming Wolverine?

Danimal said...

damn tr, that's a real procedure. i believe tigger went through the same, so here's to you winning the 2020 masters!

in music news, danimal attended his first concert in quite some time last night. the guns and the roses were here in the 904. my brief review - strong. not very strong, but strong. it was almost as much a slash show as gnr...a couple of solos, one i'd put in the mesmerizing bucket, and other lead-ins that were almost all him. axl was completely drowned out the first couple/few songs, by design i'm guessing but as the show progressed, his mic became less muted. and he sounded better than i expected. much better really. loud AF. go figure. missed the opening act, shooter jennings, son of one waylon. intuition's brewery & bar next door to the venue had our full attention at that time. i do regret missing him.

came to the conclusion that somewhere between axl's 1980's/1990's look and today's would be his "sweet spot". a 30 pound loss would do him nicely, and a hair stylist.

T.J. said...

I'm trying to be a better Spotify user, so this morning after hearing so much about the album on the twitter machine, I am plying this Sturgill Simpson fella...and whoa, who the fuck is this guy? The variety of tracks on this album so far is pretty damn impressive. Teej likey.

rootsminer said...

Yikes. Good luck TR. Can't wait to hear what sort of exploits you get into with your new titanium disc!

zman said...

Sturgill Simpson has been around for a few years and received some run here at GTB.

http://gheorghe77.blogspot.com/2016/05/sturgill-simpson-is-not-related-to.html

Check this out if you want to read a more erudite exposition about him:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/19/arts/music/sturgill-simpson-sound-and-fury.html

T.J. said...

I guess I should pay a little more attention to you people

zman said...

I guess we ran out of energy after 9:31 am.

T.J. said...

it's a marathon not a sprint, z

Danimal said...

Was up past my bedtime last night.

TR said...

13-episode Phish podcast now available on the interwebs via Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, Friendster or whatever your podcast medium is.

https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/cadence13/long-may-they-run

Whitney said...

TR, my man, here's hoping everything goes swimmingly and you are liberated from back pain for good.

On another surgical note, a month from now a good friend from W&M is giving her mom her kidney to save her life. She's quietly terrified and (editor's opinion) was strong-armed into it in a way that incenses and disgusts me, but she's a good daughter and a good person, and she's going through with it. As I will for TR, I'll be rooting like hell for the best-case scenario.

Whitney said...

On a 1000000000% lighter note, I stumbled across this 2-year-old blurb today, and I laughed.

https://www.spin.com/2017/01/who-is-the-correct-person-in-your-life-to-call-mother/

zman said...

That blurb is correct unless you're aboard the USCSS Nostromo.

Whitney said...

Teej, if you want to appreciate the crazy of the Sturgill Simpson album even further, check out his earlier work, if you haven't already. Turtles All the Way Down, Breakers Roar, the cover of In Bloom, or the highly amusing You Can Have the Crown. Then re-listen to any track on the new one. Skiddit. It's good shit, though.

Marls said...

Have any Gheorghies watched Letterkenny? It was recommended by a Canadian colleague and now I’m slightly addicted.

Whitney said...

Marls, keep up

http://gheorghe77.blogspot.com/2019/08/excerpt-from-autobiography.html?showComment=1565358141343

zman said...

How did you forget this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eWJmN8D820

Whitney said...

Yep, super strong and better than the original

Mark said...

Listened to most of the been sturgill record on a run through Boston this morning. Both were quite enjoyable. Helped me shake off the hangover From Trillium Brewery (and various other bars).

TR said...

Surprised nobody has mentioned this yet, but happy Dave Winfield Birthday Day to everybody.

Whitney said...

Today is also:

- National Boyfriend Day
- Bring Your Bible to School Day
- Look at the Leaves Day
- National Caramel Custard Day
- National Virus Appreciation Day
- National Kevin Day
- National Poetry Day

Weird.

T.J. said...

why do Kevins get their own day? what's so damn special about Kevins? I DEMAND ANSWERS

Whitney said...

Top 5 coolest Kevins? Bottom 5?

T.J. said...

Kevin Arnold is in Top 5.


Kevin Hart is in Bottom 5.

TR said...

Weenie is in both lists.

Dave said...

good luck tr, hope you have a quick recovery and find something good to bingewatch while it happens . . .

afterwards, will you be a wee bit taller?

zman said...

Kevin Millar and Kevin Youkilis are both bottom five. Bottom two probably.

Whitney said...

Kevin Brown and Kevin Maas in your Top 5?

zman said...

No, they are not. I like Kevin Durant.

zman said...

Kevin Bacon should be right in the middle of the list--not more than 5 degrees of separation from anyone else.

Whitney said...

That's a good one

TR said...

The Maradonna doc on HBO is amazing. Watched the first half last night.

Marls said...

Kevin Spacey probably makes the bottom 5.

rob said...

kevin morgan, number 0 in your program, number 1 in your heart.

Mark said...

If Kevin Mitchell doesn’t make the top 5, I’ll burn this place to the ground.

TR said...

Kevin McAllister deserves a spot. Kid held off two thugs for a whole weekend!

Mark said...

Good eating and drinking in Boston the past two days. Big ass G:TB adjacent summit in Vermont on deck.

Dave said...

hello gheorghies!

my buddy kevin is a great coach.

and then, of course, there's my #1, new jersey's finest . . . silent bob . . . a.k.a kevin smith.

Marls said...

11:01!?!? Are you fucking kidding me, Dave?

Whitney said...

Sick’em, Marls

Whitney said...

And I’m still chuckling at the thought of Mark burning GTB to the ground.

Mark said...

En route to Greg’s wedding. Stopping off for snacks and water in New Hampshire. This crew is hurting a bit after copious amounts of alcohol and karaoke last night.

Danimal said...

Discovered the Johnny Carson channel this morning on 105. Warms my heart

TR said...

You're old. New post up!