Friday, April 12, 2019

Chris Davis #Ofor69 Watch

Poor Chris Davis. The man can't buy a hit. Though, it should be said, he can buy a shit ton of other stuff because he makes like eleventy billion dollars a year (intern estimate).

Chris Davis is currently mired in a 0-for-53 slump. That's a slump on steroids, frankly. But let's leave performance enhancers out of this post.

Pal, I know it sucks, but for the good of the internet (and the good of the Teej) I'm gonna need you to hit 0 for 69 next Saturday, April 20th. This will require the Orioles to bench Mr. Davis a few times over the next seven days, which seems like a proper move for a team theoretically trying to win games. Then I need them to insert him in the lineup against the Twins next Saturday night, and whiff so badly Boog's BBQ blows down.

Oh for 69, on 4/20. May the baseball internet gods smile down upon us.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

...hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh



30 comments:

Dave said...

From the last comment stream . . .

Whitney: Also, I spent the morning at W&M as part of a Diversity & Inclusion group as the College looks to improve itself. (Yes, I know, I’m a white straight male without a significant disability. But I have insights, baby.)

So awesome. I used Whitney's full name on my Crucible quote quiz this year and several kids selected him as an answer. That's how white he is. Puritan white.

Whitney said...

The name Whitney
76% Rating
Gender Feminine & Masculine
Usage English
Pron. WIT-nee
Meaning & History
From a surname which was originally derived from a place name meaning "white island" in Old English. Its popular use as a feminine name was initiated by actress Whitney Blake (1925-2002) in the 1960s, and further boosted in the 1980s by singer Whitney Houston (1963-2012). Made super popular as a masculine name by bad assed blogger Whitney from Gheorghe: Blog.

Mark said...

I just received notification that I am officially a legal medical marijuana user in the state of Florida. Just as one of the local dispensaries has stocked up on smokable flower. Good times.

TR said...

To Whit’s last comment, I’m sure the sandwich and the beer in the can were nice, but they’re probably nicer at a table. Kinda gross.

Whitney said...

That joke does always make me chuckle. That and the expression, “I prefer it in the can.“

Whitney said...

Chris Davis not in the O’s starting lineup tonight.

zman said...

Ferrari plans to launch an SUV in 2022. Atrocious. Enzo is spinning in his grave.

Whitney said...

The humanity

Whitney said...

The Lamborghini minivan can’t be far off.

T.J. said...

It’s all coming together

zman said...

Lamborghini already sells an SUV and that almost makes sense, they started out selling tractors.

Whitney said...

My daughter’s SAT tutor was arrested for murder. Mildly unnerving.

Mark said...

Whoa. That’s something.

TR said...

Hampton Roads is loco!

Mark said...

The Hoop Summit is one of my favorite basketball dork events. The rare highly competitive all star game.

Mark said...

Can we get a post on why Whitney hired Lori Loughlin’s SAT tutor? Because I’m currently in the standardized test zone.

Danimal said...

Mornin Gheorghies

rob said...

yeah, we're gonna need a bit more detail on that one, whit.

T.J. said...

Danimal, just saw your Insta post. We’re gonna need to work on your selfie-taking game

rob said...

teej has serious reverse jinx powers

rob said...

three hits for davis today. teej, write a post about my lack of dunking ability.

Dave said...

WHITNEY'S SAT TUTOR : MURDER

A. Whitney : beer
B Rob : Squirrel
C. TR : feminine canines
D. Teej : 1972 Citroen SM
E. Mark : tattoos
F. Zman : patent law
G. Good Mythical Morning : Whimsy

Dave said...

a w&m running back was murdered in norfolk this year?

Mark said...

Maaaaaaaagiiiiiiiiiic.

Whitney said...

Dave, pay attention

Whitney said...

The SAT tutor was sleeping in his autistic daughter’s room per standard when the wife invited a lover into her bedoir. The husband heard noise and thought it was a burglar and shot him. Murder in the 3rd degree.

Preposterous series of events. That’s the story my daughter told me.

Dave said...

isn't Va a stand-your-ground state?

rob said...

the durant/beverley subplot in the warriors/clippers series is serious fun.

Mark said...

Beverley is a motherfucker in the best way. I respect that level of jerk.

Danimal said...

Mornin Gheorghies