Sunday, March 26, 2017

The Stouter The Better

Most readers of this blog know that I'm an unrepentant beer snob, a lover of the dank, bitter hop. It's not a big secret. Lately, though, I've been stepping out on my best girl (metaphorically, and beer-wise only) with a sweet, sexy, boozy little number. I'm talking about caramel, and chocolate, and vanilla, and ABV to keep you away from heavy machinery. I'm talking about Imperial Stouts.

It started over Christmas, where a friend had Weyerbacher Sunday Mole Stout on offer. I had two, and I couldn't walk straight. The Easton, PA brewery starts with their renowned Sunday Morning Stout, and adds a traditional mole blend, including ancho, pasilla, mulato, and chipotle peppers. It's got a nice late heat, and an almost sweet chocolate/coffee flavor. And, did I mention that it's 11.3% ABV? Dayum.

My interest in the dark arts piqued, I snagged a 22 oz. Stone Imperial Russian Stout at my local Wegmans. Predictably, one of America's best and most creative craft brewers serves up a righteous tipple. Ratebeer gives it a 100 score. At 10.5% ABV, it'll warm your cockles - it's a smooth yet full-bodied mistress. Stone themselves say that the stout is "intensely aromatic (notes of anise, black currants, coffee, roastiness and alcohol) and heavy on the palate...expect this mysterious brew to pour like used motor oil and taste even heavier! Serve at 55 degrees." This is one Russian investigation I'm not going to want to stop.

We've got a little restaurant here in town owned by a FOKQ&MRKQ, called the Leesburg Public House. The food's creative and consistently excellent, and the beer list is long, ever-changing, and diverse as all hell. It's in a location that's been death to restaurants in our town for years, and it's a testament to the quality of their execution that the Public House is thriving where many others have failed. My wife and I frequently head there for a couple of pops and apps when we're trying to escape our kids. About a month ago, I had a Lickinghole Creek Heir Apparent from LPH's taps. The brewery is based in Goochland, VA, home to at least a few FOGTBs, and Heir Apparent is a revelation from the Man above. In the words of the brewers, "Heir Apparent is an imperial stout with a complex caramel soul tempered by a chocolate and roasty undertone. Sweeter in style than Russian Imperial stouts at only 60 IBUs but balanced by the heat of fresh Mexican peppers, vanilla and cacao nibs. The Heir Apparent is ambitiously biding his time until he comes to power. His time will come." This 11.5% monster is fucking amazing. After trying it a the pub, I grabbed a 25.4 oz. bottle at the store. It was the sweetest ass-kicking I ever had.

And just this week, I found Afton, VA's Blue Mountain Dark Hollow. Just like the others described in this post, it's big, and dark, and boozy as all hell. Drinking it on a weeknight is poor decision-making. But if you want to sip something that'll take the pain away and leave a sweet haze covering everything, Dark Hollow will do just fine. It's an Imperial Stout that's aged in bourbon barrels "still dripping with uncut whiskey". I don't know what that last part means, but I do know that you can taste the brown liquor in the 10% ABV beer.

Like a junkie needing more and more, I appear to be ramping up to stratospheric ABV heights in my personal beer-based Vision Quest. The stuff I've gravitated to lately is closer to wine than to your normal American lager. This is the single best thing about the Trump era, as far as I can tell.

22 comments:

TR said...

It kills me to write this, but I'm trying to moderate my microbrew consumption, on account of I still want my pants to fit. This post doesn't make me want to do that.

zman said...

You had TR at Lickinghole.

Mark said...

Another chocolate beer worth your time (chocolate and peanut butter actually) is Sweet Baby Jesus. From a brewery out of Baltimore. It's damn good. You're welcome.

Mark said...

If you haven't watched Florida-South Carolina games this year (and I'm guessing you haven't), be prepared for some ugly stretches of basketball. Two of the better defensive teams in the country who both struggle shooting it at times. Their first matchup (at South Carolina) was scoreless going into the under 16 TV timeout. Just a warning.

zman said...

I'm going to be zuncle! I will have a zniece.

Mark said...

Bummed for a Florida team I'd really grown to love. Tough bunch that far exceeded even the most optimistic of preseason predictions for them. Even while losing their starting center midway through the conference schedule.

Also really happy for Frank Martin. A self made coach who played a huge role in elevating the quality of high school basketball in the state of Florida.

Dave said...

had some delicious low ABV o'haras at mcgillin's this weekend. good stuff you can drink all day . . .

rob said...

what'd your husband drink?

rob said...

fuck carolina

Mark said...

That was a highly entertaining athletic contest.

Mark said...

I'm good with Carolina. Roy Williams can eat a bag of dicks though.

Dave said...

that game may have ruined my bracket. i had gonzaga beating kentucky and i'm sure someone has gonzaga beating unc. dammit.

Dave said...

i'm not allowed to drink 5% beer and retain my masculinity? what if i drink double the amount?

Dave said...

or smoke high CBV crack? and i only smoke high CBV crack. otherwise, why bother?

zman said...

I can't believe no one said "I saw the title of this post and thought it was about [insert G:TB contributor's name] collegiate love life."

TR said...

My initial thought was the "We Must Increase Our Bust" song from some movie I can't recall.

The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater, the boys depend on us.

Whitney said...

A Google search indicates that TR just quoted Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume. Likely a GTB first.

rob said...

did not see that coming

Shlara said...

I know we don't like to get into political conversations here, but I had to share this excellent quote, in a MSM outlet:

“The real power of implementation in the federal government is at the assistant secretary level. And they simply don’t have any,” said Kamarck, a Brookings scholar who is also the author of Why Presidents Fail and How They Can Succeed Again.

So how could Kushner revolutionize the federal bureaucracy? “I have no fucking idea,” Kamarck says. “And they don’t either.”


http://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/3/28/15075416/kushner-solve-opioid-crisis

rob said...

gonna need one of you jokers to post something. i got shit going on.

Dave said...

that's a great book! i believe it's about menstruation . . .

TR said...

It is Dave. I had an older sister and we both digested every kid book there was out there. The period tale really resonated with my 8 y/o self.

I will handle next post, Rob. I'm doing a review of Superfudge.