Thursday, September 01, 2016

Gheorghe's Milestones in Music

A recent survey conducted by the Clarence Institute of Finding Shit Out (CIFSO™) shed some light on some of the foundations of musical event attendance by the gheorghies through the years. Its intent was to allow GTB writers and readers alike to develop a contextual understanding of some of the posts and comments where rock and roll music is the topic. I dare say that we have learned a lot.

Note: if you consider yourself a gheorghie (a. get help, but b. . . .) and you were not surveyed, please do not take offense.  CIFSO standards and practices ensure a level of disorganization, gaps, scattershotness, haphazardry, outdated e-mail addresses, and erroneous data collection.  By our very design we incorporate a percentage error plus or minus 37.  It's what we do.

On to the findings.

We wanted to learn about concerts attended.  It's our belief at CIFSO that something as simple as the purchase of Snow's Twelve Inches of Snow is an egregious music error, but it's one easily made (sort of) and without much consequence.  (Like twelve bucks or so.)  It should not reflect too poorly on the purchaser nor render his opinion of Social Distortion's major label debut moot and meaningless.

Going to a show, though?  Well, mistakes can be made, but in our statistical expert opinion, it's a far more telling barometer of the quality of rock music taste.  Or lack thereof.  It says a lot about you if you have seen Billy Joel 27 times. Or moe.  Or Ned's Atomic Dustbin.  Or Garth Brooks.  Or the Weather Girls.  And the knowledge of whom you pay and/or travel to see rock it out helps serve our reading audience with background information.  Let's face it, reading Dave's well-crafted post from yesterday with the backstory that he either: (a) pays to see Jersey Shore cover bands meticulously cover old songs while he hates the original versions of those old songs, (b) was an indie pioneer and saw the Flaming Lips in a tiny room in college, or (c) got a hard rock band tattooed on his leg and then went to see them more than any other act . . . well, the more you know . . .

Anyway, that stuff plus the gheorghies' original foundations of seeing music once upon a time, as well as how far each concert-goer was willing to travel for a certain act all makes for good intel . . . for filtering out the bullcrap of some yahoo who broke their cherry on Warrant and made connecting flights to see Toby Keith.

Here we go.

The first question we asked of the GTBers was what their first concert was.  Who took your rock show virginity?  You always remember your first.  Unless you're Dave.

G:TB's First Concerts
TR: Whitesnake/Great White
Danimal: O.M.D. opening for Thompson Twins '85
Marls: Herman's Hermits/The Turtles
Squeaky: The Cars, Hampton Beach, NH
Zman: John Denver
Dave: either Sting (Dream of the Blue Turtles) or R.E.M. (Fables of the Reconstruction) with the Feelies, 1985
Mark: Warped Tour (Fishbone/Rancid headliners)
rob: Chicagoooo!!!
Shlara: The Jacksons (as in Michael and his brothers) Victory Tour at RFK
Whitney: The Monkees (w/ Herman’s Hermits); Grateful Dead a few months later.  Apparently I was born during WWII...
TJ: Steve Winwood, 1990, SPAC (Saratoga Performing Arts Center – great venue). Warren Zevon opened for Winwood. That is correct – Warren Zevon opened for Steve Winwood. Almost 30 years later I’m still baffled by this.
KQ: Go-Go's at Kings Dominion. BoDeans opened.
Mr. KQ: Peter Frampton
Clarence: Eddie and the Cruisers at Tony Mart’s, followed quickly by Stillwater
CIFSO can draw some interesting conclusions here, both individually and as a group.  But we won't. That's not what we do!  Instead we will let you do that in the comments.

We followed that question with this one: What's the furthest you ever traveled for a rock and roll show?

G:TB's Longest Road Trip for a Show
Zman: NY to Boston to see BRMC with Squeaky. NJ to Boston to see Jane's Addiction, Dinosaur Jr, and Living Colour with Squeaky but he didn't get the tickets so we saw a bluegrass band instead. So 225 to 250 miles.
Whitney: San Francisco for Outside Lands Music Festival ’14. Non-festival: Wilco in Brooklyn with Squeaky or the RnR HoF opener in '95 with Evan.
Squeaky: While living in VA saw a band at the Crocodile Club in Seattle. Can't remember the band but it was an offshoot of Mudhoney. And also 54-40 in Vancouver.
Mark: Smokin Grooves Tour - Cleveland, OH (Jurassic 5, The Roots, Outkast)

rob: Does JazzFest count? If not that, we saw King Sunny Ade at Millennium Park in Chicago last month.
Shlara: Foo Fighters in London
Danimal: U2 in Chicago
Marls: Don Ho in Honolulu
TR: Saw a Panic run at the Wiltern Theatre in LA in '01
TJ: OK, well, if you count Latham as my home, I guess it’s the Tribe Called Quest concert I saw at William and Mary. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever traveled to see a concert – I’ve always seen concerts in close proximity to where I was living at the time. [Ed. Note: Lame.]
KQ: That's probably Sister Hazel in Atlanta.

Mr. KQ: B-52’s, Orlando, FL circa 1981
Dave: Daytona! Primus/Salt 'n' Pepa/Ugly Kid Joe/Naughty By Nature [Ed. Note: a couple of other gheorghies were there as well, so this might be their actual pick]
Clarence: Spinal Tap, Cleveland / Detroit; Nick Rivers with special guest Autobahn in Germany; Infant Sorrow at the Greek
As CIFSO could have predicted (but didn't), answers ranged from inter-continental to barely across town. Interesting, mildly.

Finally, the crack engineers of this survey felt that its centerpiece had to be the band each of the group has seen most.  There are few truer gauges of your musical taste than the artists you have plunked down cash and gone to see the most.  One stray visit to a Dead show is one thing, but if you have seen 73 Phish concerts, we can assume more things about you.  Prejudices are created, like chances are you don't think of "Ringwald" when I say "Molly."  You get it.  This is like KGB.  Answer questions, please, comrade.

G:TB's Musical Acts Seen the Most in Concert

Okay, children, it's time for a game.  Match the gheorghie to their most-seen band!

The gheorghies:
(Ed. Note: The Gheorghies is a good name for a band . . . if it's not already taken)
Clarence – Danimal – Dave – KQ – Mark – Marls –Mr. KQ – rob – Shlara – Squeaky – TJ – TR – Whitney – Zman
The concerts (and how many times):
- U2 - 6 times 
- Aerosmith (3 times between 1994 and 1998) 

- Probably Pearl Jam, though Carbon Leaf and Sister Hazel are up there. (I could count but I was under the impression there would be no math.) 

- Drive-By Truckers (5 or 6 times and Jason Isbell twice). Allmans 4 or 5 times. 

- Widespread Panic (35-40x) 

- Either Old 97’s or They Might Be Giants. If you count Rhett solo shows, it's probably the former. (8ish) 

- Wilco (~17 times) 

- Has to be The Cult! (7?) 

- Either The Allman Bros or Springsteen (Sorry, 70’s and early 80s a bit of a blur) 4 or 5 each 

- The Roots (7-8 times) 

- Foo Fighters (like 8 or 9 times). Everyone else is only 4-5 times: U2, Grateful Dead, Bruce, Old 97's, Glen Hansard 

- Reverend Horton Heat (4 or 5 times) 

- Bob Mould (7 times) Widespread Panic, Echo and the Bunnymen, New Order (4 times)

- Either The Zack Attack or Wyld Stallyns, maybe 69 times each . . . although I spent a lot of time seeing Dr. Fünke’s 100 Percent Natural Good-Time Family Band Solution, much of which I don't remember thanks to the forget-me-nows

Make your picks at home and wait for the Answer Key to published in this space soon.  Good luck!

CIFSO's survey is complete.  Please do not find fault in the process. Because there is none.  Just learn about your co-bloggers, judge if you must, mock as a rule.  Enjoy.  (And go see more shows.)

Love,
Clarence


63 comments:

rob said...

most obvious conclusion to be drawn: mr kq is fucking old

Clarence said...

The Frampton answer had me ready to Ed. Note but I held back.

woaw woaw woaw woaw woaw

Mark said...

Going to see an artist I've listened to for close to 20 years for the first time tonight. Then off for a four day weekend full of my favorite sport. Pretty psyched about the weekend.

Mark said...

Skies have opened up for the first time today. The last couple days have been pretty rainy (2-3") but I'm guessing we'll get close to 4-5" over the next 24-36 hours.

T.J. said...

WYLD STALLYNS!

Danimal said...

Seems as if 14 people responded to the last question when 13 are listed. Or am I counting wrong? Having the most trouble with the WSP 35x'r....Marls?

Danimal said...

1 hour and 12 minutes into a 13.5 hour trip not counting sleeping somewhere.

Clarence said...

That's some JMU arithmetic on counting gheorghies, Danimal

zman said...

TR is Widespread. And he saw Widespread Panic 35-40 times.

Squeaky is Mould etc.

Shlara is Old 97's/Rhett.

Mark is the Roots.

I would guess Goddard for Reverend Horton Heat but he wasn't surveyed so Clarence? Whoever it is should catch Alvis and the FTW Band.

I assume KQ is U2.

rob is Wilco?

rob said...

shlara is foo fighters, etc. the glen hansard gives it away.

kq is pearl jam

whitney is wilco

dave is the cult

TR said...

Like the post. Eclectic tastes here. On. the "furthest distance for a show" question, I wanted to mention the time I was out of my gourd in Amsterdam and walked into a polka concert on a random street, but that doesn't really count.

I am on the periphery of Hermine here in Hilton Head. We have expected little good weather in the last two days, and the low expectations led to positive surprises. With that said, we already got the "you can push your flight ago for free" email from United. I may be here until Sunday, depending on the storm's path. All I've learned is folks have no idea on anyti g farther than three hours out.

My 9 y/o is now an entirely proficient crab leg eater, as well as a good breaststroker (insert joke here). The Olympics got him fired up and he swims laps every day on his own. And my 7 y/o went parasailing and reeled in a 2-3 ft scalloped hammerhead. I found a beer cozy for bottles that has a bottle opener on its side. Life is good.

mr kq said...

Mmmmmm Frampton rawked. But not as much as the back seat of the car I got driven in with my 13 or 14 year girlfriend (her older sister drove) on the way out to Cap Centre.. Heyyyooo! And for the record we were both that age you perverts.

Squeaky said...

Spread - TR
Wilco - Whit
Roots - Mark
DBT - Zman
Cult - Dave
Foos - Shlara
Allmans/Spring - Mr KQ
Old 97s/TMBG - Rob
Aerosmith - TJ
Pearl Jam - Danimal
U2- KQ
Reverend - Marls

But I think I've seen about 60% of the bands listed live. Just not the bigger acts. Never seen U2, Foo Fighters, Aerosmith, Pearl Jam.

Dave said...

this post made me giggle-- especially, herman's hermits, chicagoooo!!!, and the monkees. i also like how the pollster kept in all our cheesy punctuation.

favorite bands mentioned: dinosaur jr, the cult, flaming lips, rem, fishbone, warren zevon, drive by truckers, primus, wilco, springsteen, the roots, bob mould.

band i still listen to on a regular basis: the flaming lips, wilco and rem.

i did listen to dinosaur jr.'s new album. sound slike dinosaur jr.

Clarence said...

Squeaky got an A-, Danimal was U2 and KQ was Pearl Jam. The Sister Hazel shoulda told you.

Dave, that Primus photo above is from the Daytona show... when Marston squealed to Les Claypool about having seen him a few months month prior.

Clarence said...

And obviously Squeaky was indeed Bob Mould.

Squeaky said...

Fishbone/Primus at the Boathouse was an amazing concert. What ever happened to the Boathouse?

Dave said...

i was at that fishbone/primus show, and i remember marson screaming, "I SAW YOU THREE MONTHS AGO!!!!"

Clarence said...

Hurricane Isabel did irreparable damage to the boathouse. It closed immediately and sat dormant for years. They tore it down recently. The Norva is the new Norfolk venue since that time. It's fine, not bad at all. But it's no boathouse. Nothing was like that ridiculous, flawed but killer place.

Squeaky said...

Very disturbing wtf music video. Especially 2 minute mark. Most likely NSFW.

https://youtu.be/3OGMrZKIjKU

Shlara said...

Tibetan Freedom concert + several years of HFStivals allowed me to see some excellent 80s + 90s bands more than once.

I may be up to 6 times for U2--I'd have to find all of those ticket stubs to confirm.
The opening of the U2 Joshua Tree show in 1987 (RFK) is still the best opening of a concert ever in my experience.

Shortly after that Jacksons show at RFK, I saw Bruce for the Born in the USA tour at RFK--sat next to a Rolling Stone reporter--cannot remember his name tho. That same summer I saw Huey Lewis, Mr. Mister and Bryan Adams too--somewhat inconsistent with my musical taste as a teenager.

The first concert that I desperately wanted to attend was The Police at the Cap Centre in 1983 but my parents were not having it.
And, to clarify, we went to London specifically for the Foo Fighters show--my sister is/was obsessed with Dave Grohl.

rootsminer said...

My first was Monkees w/ The Grassroots and Gary Puckett and the Union Gap. Was in 5th grade and went with my uncle. Aerosmith was my first 'no adults show' and I got drunk for the first time for a Dylan show.

I've seen Allman Bros 4-5 times, Steely Dan 3, Grateful Dead twice.

Saw panic at the boathouse in 93 w/ brady and branscome. Listened to Elvis and ate some fungus on the way-it wore off early and the show got boooring. Probably saw them more than any of the others I listed, but I've tried to block it out.

Mark said...

I've mentioned this here before but I got to see Tool at the Boathouse during my freshman year in college. Awesome venue.

Catpell said...

you decided you needed to see steely dan on three separate occasions? or did you hit your head between each concert and forget you saw them? the latter makes more sense.

Clarence said...

Bad assed comment from your wife's account, tough guy.

Danimal said...

A long way to go but would it be nice for the Vola to lose with all the hype they've been getting.

rob said...

vola-re, whoa-o-o-o

Whitney said...

Tribe getting manhandled in Raleigh. Glad none of you stingy chumps didn't take me up on the wager.

T.J. said...

Did you guys know Bruce is from New Jersey? Heard that in the men's room.

zman said...

I saw James, Soup Dragons and Black Sheep at the Boathouse.

T.J. said...

I saw Widespread Panic at Boathouse freshman year. TR, was I with you?

rob said...

i saw the bodeans open for drivin n cryin, saw the connells, saw new potato caboose, and almost saw the ramones at the boathouse. that last one was a doozy.

Whitney said...

I saw the Ramones show when you got "lost" en route. You were an idiot.

TR said...

That was not me, Teejus. And we are all old.

I saw o e play of the Vols game. It was in the second quarter. Vols QB goes back to pass, his Swiss cheese line allows him to get bum rushed, and he heaves up a bad pass that gets intercepted. Awful all the way around.

zman said...

Hi gheorghies.

Dave said...

wait? whitney actually saw the ramones that night? i feel like i just learned the ending to the sixth sense.

and there's nothing my wife hates more than steely dan. (insert sex toy joke here)

rob said...

there were idiots involved with that ramones caper, clarence, but mine was the least idiotic role.

Whitney said...

Yes, Dave, I was with Brook. Waiting for you so I could stop standing at the back of the Boathouse (which was about 40 feet from the stage, mind you, silly oblong layout) and get into the fray. Pre-cell phone era, I had no idea you morons got lost in my old neighborhood. Great show, would've been better if you clowns had made it.

No offense to Brook.

rootsminer said...

In summer of 96 I met Ian M. in Raleigh for a weekend. We saw Allman Bros. first night, Steely Dan the second. He passed out for most of both shows and woke up at the end of Steely Dan pissed that he'd spent about $100 on a hat from the 'Art Crimes' tour.

I'm not ashamed. I love Steely Dan. Sure, there are plenty of cheesy toss-off numbers in their repertoire, but YOU try doing that much coke and keeping up quality output.

T.J. said...

The Boss was awesome last night. Played for four hours. Did work in lesser known tunes for first 90 mins, but crushed it after that.

zman said...

I thought her name was Brock?

Squeaky said...

Brook, who is this Brook you speak of? I only remember a Brock. We need a list of G:TB bad tattoos.

Squeaky said...

Oh, man. Zman beats me to the punch ... stupid google recaptcha.

rob said...

clarence has multiple entries on that list

Clarence said...

Dave and I would clean up in the Bad Tattoo medal ceremony

Clarence said...

Our Seussian stuff is the only worthy ink we have

rob said...

in culinary news, i had an amazing oblt (octopus, bacon, lettuce, tomato) sandwich for lunch yesterday. felt really bad for shlara, who had to watch me make a giant mess of myself while eating it.

T.J. said...

where was my invite, jerks?

TR said...

I am officially powerless in H Head. Luckily, we had just finished heating frozen pizza for everybody's lunch. And the wifey had knocked out laundry a few minutes before. Gonna be a looooong afternoon.

Squeaky said...

Good luck, TR.

TR said...

On hour 4 w/o electricity. Luckily we found a couple w/ two boys. We are methodically taking down booze. Sun is now out, but 40 mph wind gusts keeping us inside.

Clarence said...

What are you drinking, TR?

I'd say it's about Miller Time for me.

Mark said...

Did rootstock challenge me (us) to do a bunch of coke? That's what it looked like to me.

An OBLT sounds divine. No power definitely does not.

Both TJ and I had great concert experiences last night. Though mine kept me up waaaay past my bed time. I'm not built for 4 am anymore.

zman said...

I took the day off but had to work about four hours, then did kindergarten open house/tour/orientation. I need a goddam drink.

rootsminer said...

I don't endorse doing a lot of coke, in spite of the fact that Fagan and Becker had a productive 5-6 years in the 70s. I do suspect that as their coke consumption increased, the quality of their musical output decreased.

Danimal said...

Just cracked open a Miller Lite, my first of these since I was Rob's weight. Chillaxin w my father-in-law, the fella who nearly died in April. The subtle and not no subtle differences post accident, both physical and in disposition are many. Overall, positive and doing well - all that can be asked.

Clarence said...

Having my first Harpoon IPA in a while. The label says, "Hoppy Floral Crisp." Reminds me of a Dave post. Must not be selling many in Southie.

Danimal, very psyched for your pop in law.

TR said...

It was last day of vacation, so we cleared out what was left - a couple Dogfish Head IPAs, some Bud Light cans, and a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Power came back on. We will head away from coastline in search of a hot meal soon.

Dave said...

damn, i had no idea we stood you and brock up. and i'm going to research bad tattoos . . . we have some absurd ones but i'm sure there are much much worse.

i'm really happy with tomorrow's sentence, just wrote it. drinking long trail summer ale, pretty good. i played tennis again today!

Clarence said...

Dave, the guy who gave you the snake tattoo had a way way way way way way way way way worse tattoo then you or I will ever have.

Clarence said...

Than*

Voice recognition software is run by people with terrible grammar

Mark said...

New Peruvian restaurant just opened in town. Making our first trip here. Menu looks great but they are severely understaffed.

zman said...

Pollo Rico opened a new shop in Florida?