A company called Blowfish markets what they purport to be the most effective hangover cure on the market. In their words,
Blowfish is a lemon-flavored fizzy tablet that will stop the pounding in your hungover head faster than you can imagine. It’s the only hangover product with a formulation recognized as effective by the FDA (which is kind of a big deal). Doctors use it. Bartenders swear by it. And we guarantee it’s the best remedy out there – so you’ve got absolutely nothing to lose by trying it (except, you know, your hangover).
I started drinking at around 1:00 p.m. yesterday, on a postcard perfect fall afternoon in Williamsburg. I stopped sometime around 2:00 in the morning, though the details are a bit fuzzy. Clarence claims he saw me and another of our friends struggling to get into our hotel room at around that time, which sounds odd to me, as I think I remember leaving him with some other friends in an entirely different hotel room.
Either way, my 7:00 a.m. wakeup call this morning found me somewhere between groggy and abjectly addled. You all know the symptoms, so I'll spare the litany, but this hangover had (still has, really) representation from the entire catalogue. An effervescent assist would've been blessed.
According to Blowfish's research, aptly named Intoxication Nation, Virginia is the 34th-most hungover state in the Union. However, the District of Columbia clocks in at the top of the charts, the single most-hungover jurisdiction in all the land. And since there are large parts of the Old Dominion that considers Northern Virginia essentially an extension of D.C., I feel it appropriate to claim residency in our Nation's Capital, at least for this express purpose. I've certainly lived up (down) to it today.
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25 comments:
We could all use a little blowfish now and again.
I clicked on the link to the US hangover map. Utah is #5?
Just because you are very hung over doesn't make you a good drinker.
Good boozing with rob, Marls, and many others in the Burg this weekend. Always good to get back.
But yes, hung over still...
Those infographics are awesome. Makes the stats more interesting
- women are 40% more likely to drunk dial an ex
- 1 in 2 men have peed somewhere they shouldn't while drinking (the other one is lying)
- DC is the #5 state in drinking the most but the #1 state in complaining about hangovers (OF COURSE!)
- Police officer #4 profession most likely to be hung over on the job
zson peed in the parking lot of the zoo this weekend. Maybe he was hungover?
My kids piss EVERYWHERE. Under boardwalks, behind trees, in shrubs, in their beds, on the floor in our bathrooms around (but not in) our toilets, in the ocean, in pools, in rivers, on boats, off of boats, on me, on our carpets, on our hardwood floors, in the tub, on each other, in our cars, etc
I said to my 7 y/o last week: "You shit on my house! You shit...on my house."
zson shit all over several thomas trains, a thomas drawbridge and associated pieces of wooden track, as well as zbasement rug. I was not amused. That was today. A few days ago he shit on the family room rug. He shit himself this morning before school. At least he's regular.
Berman wants to snowball Peyton Manning.
When we were looking at houses in Dallas two weeks ago, my 7 y/o had his first full-fledged shart (and did not roll with it well after I introduced the concept of free balling). Later that day, my 5 y/o ralphed on himself, our booster west and our rental car while strapped in on the freeway. The Fates may have been chiming in on where we should live.
My friend's 6 y/o just had his first shart at a Chinese restaurant during dinner. He had the same response to going commando as your kid.
First the CEO of Total, then Oscar de la Renta. !Que horible!
Is everyone else as excited as I am for the start of the Boobie Dixon era? Boobie Dixon is almost as great as Dick Butkus. From a nomenclature perspective.
rob is clothed in immense power. He gets my strongest white among external vendors today.
tribe debate team beats harvard, now top-ranked public school in the nation. get some.
marlins guy making a statement at the first game of the world series. less so big game james.
Rapper Maino is being sought by NYC police after an alleged assualt that occurred in a car outside a posh downtown nightclub last night.
Porn actress Mellanie Monroe alleges he punched her and then fled, leaving her with leg pains. As written verbatim in the NY Post, "...Monroe appears in films such as Interracial MILF Orgy 3."
That made me laugh very much. Tremendous fact-checking there. That is a tremendous cinematic trilogy.
I don't recommend you view MILF Orgy 3 without watching the first two installments - the plot is really confusing, you'll be lost.
Agree with Mayhugh. I can't recommend the film at all, really. They replace some of the same central characters with different actors and think we won't notice??
Rumors about tension on the set were reminiscent of "Fluffergate," the scandal on another such film. It really led to some major plot holes which couldn't be filled, even by the Diggleresque stars on set. Too bad, really.
I've often considered the third in series to be similar to another famous final film of a trilogy, Return of the Jedi. Right down to the inclusion of Ewoks.
It's only the photography of the film we're talking about!
The report on the athletic/academic scandal at UNC is out and it is damning. Of course, Roy Williams will skate on it because he's folksy. Fuck that guy.
Rob really did buy me the DC legalization shirt. And I still owe him something I (vaguely) promised him last Xmas.
I'm the worst. Rob is much better.
Thanks!
If you truly seek to understand MILF Orgy 3, then you should really read the book; the characters get a texture and depth that just doesn't translate to the silver screen.
sweet. hope the size is right. if it's not, blame the teej.
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