A Terribly Belated Wiz Watch

Before we dive into the second installment of GTB's Wiz Watch, Happy Birthday to the MCI Center, which turned 8 years old last evening (the hometown team couldn't even deliver a W as a present, but we'll get into that in a second). To celebrate the big day, Abe Pollin took the MCI and all it's friends (except whiny Byrd Stadium) to Pizza Hut and Chuck E. Cheese, followed by a matinee showing of this season's smash hit comedy, "Cheaper by the Dozen 2".

With all apologies to Sergio Leone (or should I say Con todas disculpas a Sergio Leona?), let's take a look at the Washington Wizards through the season's first 15 games...

Les Boulez, 7-8 (started the season 5-1)
T-2nd in the Southeast Division (with Orlando)
T-8th in the Eastern Conference (with Orlando and New Jersey)

The Good: Hell, this section is so easy even Dee Brown couldn't fuck it up. Gilbert Arenas has been as spectacular as advertised, averaging 27 points and 6 assists a game while shooting 40% from three point land. Gilbert has six 30 point games on the year and one 40 point game (he's fourth in the league in scoring). He's a no doubt All Star and one of the Top 10 players in the league. Not to be outdone, Antawn Jamison has delivered huge all year, especially on the glass. He's avergaing a double double on the year, 21 points and 11 rebounds a game, and has already notched 9 double doubles in the season's first 15 games (he's sixth in the league in rebounding). It sure would be nice if someone else would hit the boards occassionally (Jared Jeffries and Etan Thomas, I'm looking right at you).

Caron Butler has been solid off the bench, giving the Wiz that third option they so desperately need with the band of offensive misfits Eddie Jordan runs out at center and (occassionally) power forward. Other than Ben Gordon, Butler's the best Sixth Man in the league - 15 ppg, 5 rpg and 46% shooting. Plus he's good at siring children.

The Bad: In case you weren't paying attention above, the Wiz have no trouble scoring points (they're 8th in the league). It's just a shame they also don't use their athleticism and talent on the defensive end of the floor (as well as on the glass). They're 22nd in the NBA in points allowed and are DEAD LAST in opponents' rebounds allowed, consistently getting pummeled on the boards (and just watch all the boards they allow guards to grab). Pitiful.

Ah, nice segue to my "breakout" player, Brendan Haywood, who has been serviceable AT BEST. Brendan, 9 points, 7 rebounds and 2 blocks a game just ain't gonna cut it. You're 7 feet tall for christ sakes. And you still haven't kicked the habit of bringing the ball down after rebounds, which seriously might lead to your murder by our boy Dennis.

The Ugly: Michael Ruffin. OK, sorry to the Ruffin family, it's just too easy. Let's instead take a look at the nightmare that was last night's game against the Milwaukee Bucks and NBA Superstar Mo Williams (sarcasm kids...sarcasm). He had 35 points on 15-21 shooting last night and was absolutely unconscious in the 4th quarter, even hitting the game winning three at the buzzer with the corpse of Chucky Atkins in his face. It's not just that a bum from Alabama lit up the Wiz, that can happen in the NBA on any given night (didn't Dana Barros once score 50 in a game?). It's the fact that Eddie Jordan's guys have an uncanny knack for making the Mo Williams' of the league look like stars night in and night out. 26 points, 14 boards and 5 blocks for Gerald Wallace in a loss to the Bobcats. Richie Frahm and Troy Hudson had 16 each in a loss to the Timberwolves. DeShawn Stevenson has looked better in two games against the Wiz this year than he has in his entire career. Don't be surprised if Raptors Jose Calderon and Matt Bonner combine for 50 Tuesday night.

Calvin Booth's attention span. He is the clear leader in the clubhouse for "NBA Player who enjoys halftime and timeout performances WAAAY more than his coach in huddles". It's tough making the nameplate for this award, but Calvin certainly deserves it. Ricky Davis will need to stab both members of Acrobazia during a timeout to win this award back.
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I was not in the office Friday, but in case you couldn't turn away from THE MOST DRAMATIC ER EVER Thursday night, this is what you missed on the boob tube:

In the Mid-American Conference championship game at Detroit's Ford Field, Akron beat Northern Illinois 31-30 on a 36 yard TD pass with just 10 second left. This after an Akron interception with under 2 minutes left made the game seem all but over. Akron's D stopped Northern Illinois three straight times, the Zips were able to stop the clock with their remaining timeouts, and they got the ball back on their own 19 yard line with 1:41 left in the game. The most amazing part of the game winning drive was the player who caught the pass, Domenik Hixon, was sprawled out on the sidelines the entire drive with cramps even Extra Strength Midol couldn't fix (yes, it was a fantastic individual performance Kirk Herbstreit, but a Kirk Gibson comparison? really?). Great ending to a surprisingly exciting game, and it was happening at exactly the same time (roughly 10:57pm) as...

The Nevada/Kansas game went down to the wire at Allen Fieldhouse, with the Wolfpack (minus Kevin Nash and Scott Hall) defeating the Jayhawks 72-70 behind the play of 2006 NBA first round pick Nick Fazekas (he had 35 of Nevada's 72 points). It was yet another great early season college hoops game this year, but the kicker was that as the game ended, I was pretty sure I caught a Jayhawks assistant coach tell Fazekas to "Fuck Off". I mean, it wasn't very hard to read this guy's lips. Well, they never showed a replay on ESPN, so I just figured I was crazy, until I checked Deadspin this morning. Yep, Jayhawks assistant coach Jim Dooley most definitely told Fazekas to fuck off, and they've got the video (as well as the apology from Kansas' athletic department). Great stuff.

A final note on Akron. Is that seriously their mascot? A kangaroo? Can the makers of Kangaroo Jack sue? (actually, can the viewers of Kangaroo Jack sue the makers?) That's the flick with Jerry O'Connell right? I can't think of an actor with a more convoluted career. To wit, I give you the Stages of "Being Jerry O'Connell":
Stage 1 - Collect Underpants
Stage 2 -
Stage 3 - Profit
Whoops, sorry, my bad, wrong list...let's try this again...

Stage 1 - Play dumpy fat kid in hugely successful coming of age film Stand by Me
Stage 2 - Star in show Sliders that SciFiCon attendees love along with John Rhys-Davies of Indiana Jones fame (he's the "Bad dates" guy). Personal note: I was actually a huge fan of this show, and it took me months to realize the fat kid from Stand by Me was the same as the guy in this show.
Stage 3 - Reappear ten years after Stand by Me as stud QB Frank "Cush" Cushman in hugely successful film Jerry Maguire
Stage 4 - Get cast in CSI/Law and Order rip off on NBC, Crossing Jordan (basically it's Quincy ME with a former Law and Order chick and Jerry)
Stage 5 - Desperate for a paycheck, star in aforemetioned stinker Kangaroo Jack (seriously, who is this guy's agent?)
Stage 6 - Holy Shit, how did this happen...Jerry O'Connell is banging Rebecca Romijn (the FFMD just informed me the two are in fact engaged...who knew). I would most definitely call this the "Profit" stage of this list.

With the recent news Fox plans to cancel "Reunion", of course it makes sense Thursday night's episode might've been the best of the season. A little humor, a little more unraveling of the murder backstory, some competent acting, and of course, Craig Brewster pulling a Keyser Soze at the episode's conclusion. SG's right - why can't they just give us the last 9 episodes on FX? I don't think "The Shield" or "Rescue Me" will mind.