Take off, you hoser

Pedro Gomez might've been the first to employ this sort of stalker journalism, but it looks like he won't be the last (by the way, did anyone else notice that Bob Holtzman replaced Gomez at the end of the year on the "Bonds Beat"? I am thinking Barry killed Gomez in the Giants training facility a la De Niro to Benicio Del Toro in "The Fan"). Some young lady working for the The Globe and Mail in Toronto (seriously, that's the name of your newspaper?) will be trailing rookie sensation Sidney Crosby all season long (her name is actually Shawna Richer, but who cares really). Get ready for exciting tales of Sidney leaving the toilet seat up and babysitting Super Mario's kids (he apparently lives in Lemieux's basement). Canadians...very easily entertained.

You know, I could've jokingly guessed 69 answers to this question, and never come up with this response:
"I just want to be a professional fisherman, and that's about it."
- Allen Iverson, being asked if he had any career plans after basketball

Here's hoping rain holds off in Boston and New York today...some slightly important ballgames need to be played. Whitney is crazy - I simply cannot see the Red Sox getting swept today, because, if I may drop a cliche here, they play their best ball with their backs against the wall. Proof needed? Just look at the last two years. In 2003, they were down 0-2 to Oakland, and won 3 straight to take the series. Last year, down 0-3 to the Yankees, we all know what happened there, really no need to rehash that debacle. Tim Wakefield, today's Game 3 starter, was 10-4 at home this year, with a respectable 4.08 ERA. Game 4 starter Curt Schilling, though I hate him very much, has a strong history of stepping up in big situations. The Red Sox mash the ball at home, scoring 470 runs in Fenway (second only to the Yankees home total of 477) - it's no fluke they were 54-27 at home this year (the best home record in MLB by the way). All signs point to a return trip to Chicago for Game 5 Sunday. HOWEVAH, if it turns out Whitney was right about this, and I was wrong, oh well, I hate the Red Sox anyway (and yes, I haven't written a word about the Yankees game tonight because I was going to bash Paul Byrd, and frankly, I know that would come back to haunt me).

The Houston Astros must really hate Roger Clemens. Hahaha. Wink wink. That's the comical angle morons on talk radio were saying this morning (Colin Cowherd, you are killing me man). Let's be real people. The Astros had one decent lefty bat in the lineup last night in Lance Berkman (Orlando "Please don't ever associate me with Raffy" Palmeiro does not count) against an absolutely dominant righthanded postseason pitcher - what would you expect to happen? Maybe the Astros do hate Clemens, but they didn't intentionally suck at the plate to stick it to him. John Smoltz is a beast in October (as opposed to Kwame Brown, who told the Washington Post he changed back to #54 because that was his high school number and he's gonna be "The Beast" again). Yes, he's only won 1 World Series, but look at these postseason numbers. Absolutely fantastic (bonus points to Smoltz for being a dead ringer for Ernest P. Worrel aka Jim Varney - "Hey Vern!")...
27 starts, 15-4 record, 2 CG, 2.72 ERA, 194 Ks in 206 IP (throw in 4 saves to boot)

I was just getting ready to send my congrats to the Spears-Federline family, but it looks like this chick beat me to the punch: