"Nobody Does Basketball Better"

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the commercial I saw this morning pushing the 2005-2006 Washington Wizards (a link to the roster for the always fun “What college did they go to?” game). Where in year's past you might read that and laugh uncontrollably for 20 minutes, this year, you might laugh for...oh...20 minutes still, BUT not at The Wiz, rather at the bama who came up with that lame ass slogan. The Wiz have had a pretty active offseason, what with Kwame being traded to L.A., Andray Blatche getting clipped in Jerry’s hood, and of course Kwame again spouting off in the Post, so, without further (Freddy) ado, GTB's look at the 2005-2005 Washington Wizards:

2004-05 Record: 45-37, Finished 2nd in Southeast Division, Tied for 4th in Eastern Conference (6th in the league in scoring)
Won Eastern Conference 1st Round (4-2) over Chicago Bulls (First playoff series win in 23 years)
Lost Eastern Conference Semifinals (4-0) to Miami Heat

OFFSEASON PLAYER MOVEMENT
Players (and bongs) lost: Steve Blake, Kwame Brown, Juan Dixon, Larry Hughes, Laron Profit
Players re-signed: Michael Ruffin
Players added: Chucky Atkins, Andray Blatche, Calvin Booth, Caron Butler, Antonio Daniels, Hiram Fuller, Donnell Taylor

BACKCOURT
Even though Larry Hughes has departed for the sunny shores of Lake Erie, the Wiz still have a solid duo in Gilbert Arenas (25 pts and 5 assists a game) and newly signed Antonio Daniels (11 and 4). Gilbert will continue to fire at will, and in fact, there is no doubt he jacks more shots this year than last with Hughes gone. Geriatric Chucky Atkins (wow, 14 and 4), Caron Butler (an underrated scorer at 15 per game) and Jarvis Hayes (hey Jarvis, how about scaling back the clunkers you throw up there this year ok?) are a versatile trio off the bench (Atkins as a combo guard and Hayes and Butler able to play small forward in addition to shooting guard). I don’t think the loss of Hughes will be as bad as people think – scoring from the backcourt will surely decrease, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing for the Wiz. A few low post baskets or lay-ups per quarter are OK. Bonus points to the backcourt if Donnell Taylor of "Donnell and Ronnell lead UAB to shocking win over Kentucky fame" makes the squad.

FRONTCOURT
Antawn Jamison is the key – as long as his knee holds out, Jamison is an extremely efficient scorer and a Top 40 player in the league (as is Arenas by the way). He plays some of the worst defense I’ve ever seen, but that’s OK, he has these big donkeys to help him out in the paint - Etan Thomas (7 points and 5 rebounds in only 47 games) and Brendan Haywood (9, 7 and 2 blocks a game). Neither is dynamic offensively, but both can hit the glass and score down low when asked (well, OK, not always). Jamison has Butler and Hayes to back him up, as well as Jared “Blow Me Lips” Jeffries. Jeffries is a better defender than both Hayes and Butler, but I wish he would work on his offensive game a bit (just 7 and 5 last year), and stop being so damn gay. High comedy on the bench anytime Peter John Ramos and Andray Blatche try to have a conversation. I just realized I completely forgot Michael Ruffin - well, he's very ugly and a great hustle guy. Done.

BREAKOUT BAMA
Brendan Haywood** – I know, after reading the preceding paragraph, you must wonder what the hell I’m talking about. Well, the kid is only 25 years old, he’s 7 feet tall, and he’s entering his fifth year in the league. As Mr. Mandelbaum would say, "It's Go Time!" The Eastern Conference has room for a second-tier center to have a good campaign, why can’t Haywood throw up a 16, 10, and 2 season? He set career highs in everything last year, he had a solid playoff run, and most importantly, he (hopefully) will get a few more touches with Hughes gone (and that’s even conceding Gilbert jacking a few more threes a game)
**and yes Dennis, I know that no player in the NBA is worse at dropping the ball down on rebounds and getting stripped by midget guards...he's working on it

OUTLOOK
Eddie Jordan seems to know what he’s doing. Ernie Grunfeld seems to know what he’s doing. (and for anyone saying, “Oh Kwame will show them”…please, this is Kwame Brown you’re talking about…just wait until Kobe and Phil get done with him this year) Yes, the Wiz lost Hughes (and Dixon and Blake), but I don’t see a huge drop off with their replacements. Maybe Eddie can convince the guards to get the bigs a little more involved, the Wiz can become a bit more balanced, and stay the course. Much like with Whitney's office, success will be achieved by maintaining the status quo and doing absolutely nothing more. I have this Wiz team going 44-38, and finishing 6th or 7th in the East, playoff bound once again. I believe Whitney and I are renewing the Wizards Playoff Bet from last year, and keep your eyes out for the GTB Weekly Wiz watch as the season progresses (if the god damn thing would ever start). I can’t wait to hear Phil Chenier and Steve Buckhantz again...see you on "F"un Street, NW.


Last but not least, happy birthday today to Wheelhouse scribe Geoff Butt (much older than I would've expected)…I think he’d take a Skins victory over the Giants on Sunday as a belated gift.