My Hot Takes on the Bills and the Bills/Chiefs Game

1. Brian Daboll probably isn't a genius and he probably won't save whatever franchise he goes to.  This offense looks good because Josh Allen is phenomenal.
2. Leslie Frazier probably isn't a genius either.  The Bills played a bunch of offensively challenged teams this year (Jest twice, Fish twice, Jags, Texans, WFT, Panthers, Falcons) and the defense starts six first-round picks.  This helped him look good.  His defenses in Tampa were not good and he had a 39.8% win percentage as a head coach in Minnesota.  And he just gave up 45 yards and 3 points in 10 seconds to go to OT.
3. I miss Tre'Davious White.  No one can stop Tyreek Hill but White would've done better than Dane Jackson.
4. Why was Dane Jackson, the 239th pick in the 2020 draft, on Tyreek Hill?
5. Allen is a bad man.  When was the last time you saw a QB knock a defensive player out of the game?  But I don't think this is a good way to build a lengthy career.
6.  If they're going to continue to run designed rushing plays for Allen they should get a fullback.
7. At a minimum, they need to get a big thumping running back who can get 3 tough yards so that Allen doesn't always have to.  Guys like Leonard Fournette don't grow on trees but he was available for peanuts two years ago.  Guys like Alexander Mattison, D'Onta Foreman, Devontae Booker, Mark Ingram, Rex Burkhead and Carlos Hyde are always available.
8. The overtime rules are what they are.  Buffalo couldn't stop KC when they needed to.  If the Bills were playing the Colts or the Ravens it would've been different.  That said, the outcome feels somewhat inequitable, the fans want something else so the league should respond.  I have ideas.
• Make OT a 10 or 15 minute period.  Team with the most points wins.  If they're tied play another 10 or 15 minute period.
• Both teams get the ball once.  If they both score TD in their first possessions, the next team to score any points wins.
• Use the college OT system.
• Have a FG kick-off, moving back 5 yards at a time until someone misses.
• The head coaches wrestle Greco-Roman style at midfield.  First guy to pin the other advances.
• Each team designates one player to box at midfield.  First guy to knock out the other advances.
• Erect a cage at midfield and the punters have an MMA fight.  Winner advances.
• Each team designates one player to do the NY Times Mini.  Guy with the fastest time advances.
• A player is randomly chosen from each team.  Both have 15 minutes to complete as many questions as they can from the Analytical Reasoning section of an LSAT (which is also randomly selected from a book of ten practice tests).  Guy with the best score advances.  If they tie, the punters have a knife fight at midfield, first guy to draw blood advances.
9. Romo was probably right that Buffalo should've kicked off short of the endzone to run off some clock with 0:13 left.  I suspect, however, that McDermott did not want to be the second Bills coach to lose a playoff game on a kick return with no time left.
10. Only six punts, very few penalties, no gross injuries, receivers running free all over the place, QBs looking like superheroes, 5-5 combined on fourth down, lots and lots of points, defensive futility.  This is what the league wants.  

What Car Should a (non) Gheorghie Drive -- failed rushees Edition

I have WCSAGD ideas for all of you but I want to do each post justice. Rather than rush any of them, here’s a list requested by TR of cars for non-Gheorghe rush failures.

1. Sean took a shake and gave it back to go SAE in 1993. He was a bad bad man—he almost made the Olympic judo team. He also was a bad dude—he slapped his girlfriend at College Deli once. Luckily Teza knew the young lady in question and stepped in. Not many other guys on campus could’ve handled that situation. TR called this type guy a “diesel tool” because he’s a tool but he’s too diesel for you to do anything about it. Sean Hannon should drive a 1987 Buick Grand National GNX. It looks like something a villain would drive and it has a crazy powerful engine to destroy anyone else in a drag race, but it’s still a Buick.

2. Graham was Sean’s roommate. He also took a shake and gave it back to go SAE in 1993. I don’t remember much about him other than the time he said to me, after his shake, “We’re basically brothers now, right?” and I said “Well you still have to pledge.” Maybe that’s why he unshook himself—he was too shook to keep the shake. Otherwise he was pretty boring and unremarkable, but he was smart and I understand he’s very successful. He should drive a beige Toyota Camry, year and engine don’t matter. A completely bland and uninspired car that sells very well.

3. Boutros Boutros Batros also took a shake in 1993 and ditched it to go SAE. Craziest cross-rush pattern ever. I could see fading us for Lambo or even Theta Delt, but SAE is way way different. I don’t remember much about him either other than that he had $300 and could live in a room. He should drive a Honda Civic, basic transportation that you turn to out of necessity rather than interest.

4. Mikelowski took a shake and gave it back remain independent (I think) in 1993. We really killed it in the Fall 1993 rush, by the way. When he found out I was dating the woman who became my ex-wife he told her “Oh, you could do so much better.” He should drive a Trabant because it’s generally considered to be the worst car ever made anywhere in the world.

5. The Dwonger was TR’s favorite rushee ever. He was essentially an Asian version of TR but chubbier and happy and fun to be around. He was pretty fratty, in a sloppy fat drunk and happy kinda way. He became a Sig Ep. He should drive a 1966 Lincoln Continental converted into a Deathmobile.

6. Brandon should drive a 1995 Lincoln Town Car, the getaway car from the bank robbery scene in “Heat.”



7. The kid who transferred in from Villanova and took a shake only to give it back to go Sigma Chi should drive a Mini Moke.

8. I only saw Farrar a handful of times but he was always wearing a black Members Only jacket. He should drive a 1985 Pontiac Trans Am.

9. Warren initiated but I never saw him again so he should fly around in Wonder Woman’s invisible jet.



Lynda Carter y'all.

Losing the internet

This is what would happen if Jeopardy! came to William & Mary.