Showing posts with label game of doofii. Show all posts
Showing posts with label game of doofii. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 07, 2022

zHot Takes on Science Fiction

I finally figured out what makes a sci-fi/fantasy TV show good.  Any show set in some alternate world, whether it's the future, outer space, or some mythical realm of swords and sorcery, has to explain how all the alternate world shit works in addition to explaining who all the people are.  If you botch setting things up, the whole thing falls apart.

For example, I watched a few episodes of The Expanse at Dave's suggestion.  Although I like to break his balls I respect Dave's taste in books and TV tremendously and I expected to like it.  But after a handful of episodes I'm just meh on it and I stopped watching.  There's too many people in too many places, the United Nations has too much power, and there are too many rules about living on different planets and asteroid belts for me to figure out on top of all the criminal plot lines and political maneuvering.  One plot line is clear--Mars and the asteroid belts need water and the only way to get it is by harvesting ice from some outer planets--but it makes no sense.  Yoo mean tuh tell me dat deez fuggin stoonads ken put a civiluhzashin on fuggin Mars, but dey can't make wadduh outta elemental hydrogen and oxygen?  I kawl boolshit.


Seriously though, I have too much to learn when I watch the Expanse and I can't keep it all straight.  Seeing Joey Tribiani's nephew in a spaceship is confusing too.  


I'm too stupid and too lazy to process it.


Similarly, I watched the first season of Wheel of Time and I do not plan on watching the second.  It starts out as your standard medieval type of thing, but then a lady appears who can shoot what looks like DNA from her hands and she saves the day when a bunch of random monsters appear.  


She tells a bunch of people that she's looking for "The Dragon Reborn" and it could be one of them.  It takes a while to clarify all this hooey, and there is blatant theft from Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings.  Yes, the whole swords and sorcery genre rips off LotR but this is ridiculous.  They're practically running through Mordor at one point.  "The Dark One" has an army of creatures that are orcs with dog heads.  Superpowers randomly flare up in a bar.  A wizard guides a band of trusting, less experienced people through a harrowing journey to defeat an evil force that has been silent for 3000 years, and only one of them can save the world.  

Meanwhile, they run into all sorts of random people in random places that can do random superhuman things and there is no explanation for it.  There are flashbacks to battles where neither side of the fight is identified.  Eventually they explain the lady with the DNA hands--she's part of this sisterhood of badass DNA slingers (the DNA comes from The True Source (but not The Source)), and the whole society of them is very complicated and political, so you have to wrap your head around that while trying to understand how their powers work, when suddenly a man who can sling DNA shows up and that unleashes a whole new set of rules and backstory to digest.  It's ridiculous.


Which is to say there's a fair amount of theft from Dune.  A society of women who can use The Voice/touch The True Source to do stuff and men can't do it ... except sometimes they can.  


And then some guy eats something that makes his mouth bleed.  No idea why.


Game of Thrones got this right.  Season 1, episode 1 opens with a big scary slightly obscured monster killing people.  The rest of season 1 is just regular humans with differing UK accents establishing themselves and their motivation.  When something weird happens, like a Dothraki wedding, there is an outsider who sits in for the audience to ask "What the fuck is going on?" to another outsider who knows the deal.   


By the end of season 1 you forget that that there is any magical shit involved whatsoever, until this:


And then you're like "Oh right, I forgot there was magical shit on this show!" but you're ready for it because you know who everyone is and what they're trying to do.  You can wrap your head around all the mystical stuff starting in season 2.

So if you're going to run a sci-fi/fantasy TV show, explain the people first and the science/sorcery afterwards.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Blogging Means Never Having to Say I'm Sorry

Several months ago, I was searching for a book to download to my Kindle app. I was headed out of town on a business trip, and wanted something to read on the plane. George R.R. Martin's Game of Thrones was on sale for $3.99, and while I'd never watched the television show and don't consider myself much of a fan of the genre, I bought it on a whim.

You really had to guess my favorite character?
I'm now about half of the way through the fifth book of the A Song of Ice and Fire series, A Dance With Dragons. This isn't a book review, so I'll spare you the details (ask Dave if you're into that sort of thing), but suffice it to say that this shit is riveting. Violent, detailed, ambitious, fast-paced, and complex, as a start. And violent, if I haven't mentioned that. Really, really violent.

This isn't a post about Game of Thrones, though.

I apologize.

I've been so caught up in Martin's Westeros that I've let just about everything else in my life slip. My car's oil needs to be changed. My lawn's a fucking trainwreck. I'm about four months overdue in filing my HOA's tax return. I haven't watched more than five minutes of the NBA playoffs. And I sure as hell haven't posted anything worth a damn here on G:TB.

Tractor beam, sucked me right in.

That'll end soon, R'hllor be willing and the Trident don't rise. A Dance With Dragons is the last of the series to be released, and I'm probably ten days or so away from completing it. And when I do, I'll unleash a holy torrent of top-notch Gheorghey content on your melons. Buckle up, gentle readers. I'll try not to kill off as many important characters as does Martin. But you never know who'll play Ned Stark in our little game of doofii.

Until then, enjoy one of the most popular YouTube channels amongst the teen set. These dipshits have more than 4 million subscribers, and if my kids had their way, they'd sit on their asses and watch this garbage their entire waking lives.