G:TBCS Preview

Someone just told me they're playing the BCS championship game today. How 'bout that? I've been so focused on the Tribe's historic hoops season that I've completely lost track of college football. I honestly can't ever remember caring less about bowl season. (It's possible I wrote the exact same words at this time last year and that this is all a function of getting older and having different priorities, but I don't really have the time to research that.)

This isn't an anti-BCS post. I'm as tired of writing those as you are of reading them. But i confess to a substantial 'meh' feeling - 43 days off will do that (36 in LSU's case). But like Kellen Winslow, I'm a warrior*, so I soldier on. Like Harvey Updyke, too, who's wandering around the French Quarter like a PTSD-addled infantryman. Mike had better sleep with one eye (of the Tiger) open. (My bad.)

(* Note: I'm actually more of a worrier, at least in the context of sports rooting. Close enough.)

There are lots of places on the internet to find terrific analysis of this game. This is not one of them. Here's what I know, though:

Had this game been played two weeks after the SEC Championship Game, I'd have liked LSU by a relatively comfortable margin. The Bayou Bengals were simply wrecking people late in the season. After they beat Alabama, 9-6, in the two teams' much-ballyhood first tilt, LSU whipped its final four opponents by a combined 177-39 score. More telling to me was the way the Tigers absorbed a series of body blows from Georgia and then blew the Bulldogs' doors off, scoring 42 unanswered points to claim the SEC title.

With six weeks for Nick Saban to prepare, though, I can't see LSU's momentum making any difference. The fact is, Saban got completely outcoached in the two teams' first matchup. His mixture of panicky gimmickry and questionable decision-making (choosing to attempt long field goals, letting a badly injured Marquis Maze return a punt) were as responsible for Alabama's loss as anything that happened on the field. It's hard for me to see that sort of coaching mismatch happen again.

These are two terrific teams, anchored by phenomenal defenses and competent offenses. LSU's Tyrann Matthieu is probably the most dynamic player in the game, but Alabama's Trent Richardson is better than anyone LSU will line up opposite him. Frankly (Marty Schottenheimer homage), nothing that happens in this game will really surprise me, except for a one-sided rout. Based on nothing other than a hunch, I like Alabama, 20-16. I like Brad Smelley to play a big role. And I like these two girls in their houndstooth caps.

Boy, would I really like a playoff.

[Doofus Overlord edit, because rob's PG-13 pic sucks]

In an effort to be fair and balanced:

And Now for Something Completely Futile and Stupid: The G:TBCS

Like the salmon predictably return to Capistrano, the hue and cry comes from all corners of the blogosphere, no less plaintive for its annual repetition. The powers that be have delivered unto us a “national championship” game featuring the Ohio State Buckeyes and the Louisiana State Tigers, fine teams both. And, as has been the case for the past eight years, the United States of America, the world’s foremost meritocracy, settles the collegiate championship of its most emblematic and favorite sport by... well, hell, you know how they do it. You’re not a moron. Unless you think the BCS is a good way to crown a champion, in which case you’re probably not qualified to operate that computer in front of you. In fact, get the hell out of here. Go read Drudge or play in traffic or something. We don’t want your idiocy rubbing off on us.

We will not be making an argument in favor of a college football playoff system. The argument is self-evident. We’ve made it ad nauseum in weeks, months, and years past. We’re tired of heralding evolution to a bunch of creationists who don’t return our calls.

No, we won’t be making the argument. Instead of beating them, we’ll join them by putting on our own mythical national championship, making travel arrangements, lining the fields, turning on the lights and playing the games ourselves. If a contrived combination of computers, coaches (see Dan Steinberg’s outrageous outing of the asinine element of this portion of the process here), and “experts” is good enough for the NCAA, then a contrived combination of beer-addled, sophomoric, work-avoiding bloggers is also good enough for you.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you the G:TBCS – a 16-team, single-elimination tournament beginning this Friday, December 7th and culminating with a New Year’s Eve humdinger in the Big Easy.

We’ll make the selection process simple, so as not to confuse certain people from Indianapolis. The BCS Top 16 qualify, because it’s a whole lot easier and more defensible to keep the Brigham Youngs, Central Floridas, and Directional Michigans of the world out of the tournament than it is to select LSU over Oklahoma over Georgia over USC for a one-game shot at a title. (What, the Cougars are bitter? Cry me a river. Go beat Tulsa and UCLA and give us a call.) Seeding has been slightly modified to keep conference foes from squaring off in the first round, but generally kept intact. We didn’t want to hurt Mike Slive’s feelings.

Opening round games will be contested at the higher seed’s home stadium. The final seven games will be played at the sites of major bowls (Cotton, Gator, Citrus, Fiesta, Orange, Rose, and Sugar). If your bowl is named for a company, you don’t get to play. ESPN won’t televise the games because they’re scared of the NCAA, so we’ve got Kevin Smith producing the telecasts for us on our own podcast network (G:TP).

Without further ado, the committee is pleased to reveal the following matchups for the inaugural G:TBCS tournament:

Round 1 – December 7, 2007

Cotton Bowl Region
#16 Tennessee @ #1 Ohio State, 7:00 EST
Right off the bat, a chance for the Big 10 champions to justify their lofty perch against the SEC’s 4th-best team.

#9 West Virginia @ #8 Kansas, 10:00 EST
Can the upstart Jayhawks shake off their Border War bed-wetting? Has Rich Rodriguez stopped crying?

Round 1 – December 8, 2007

Gator Bowl Region
#14 Boston College @ #5 Georgia, 12:00 EST
Much-touted Bulldogs take on overachieving Eagles between the hedges.

#12 Florida @ #4 Oklahoma, 8:00 EST
On paper, the best game of the first round – a whole shit-ton of ath-a-leets flying around the field. We can’t wait to watch this one.

Fiesta Bowl Region
#13 Illinois @ #3 Virginia Tech, 6:00 EST
Hokies looking for another shot at LSU. Nobody’s really sure why. Meanwhile, America readies for the possibility of one of the greatest back-stories imaginable.

#11 Arizona State @ #6 Missouri, 2:00 EST
Two vastly overrated squads square off for a trip to the final of the tournament’s weakest region. Lest you cite this as an argument against the tourney format, I commend to you the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament first round.

Citrus Bowl Region
#15 Clemson @ #2 LSU, 4:00 EST
Tiger against Tiger, Death Valley against Death Valley, one really good team against Clemson.

#10 Hawaii @ #7 Southern California, 10:00 EST
Cinderella Warriors channeling Harbaugh against heavily favored (and controversially seeded) Trojans.


Quarterfinals – December 14, 2007
Cotton Bowl Region: 16/1 Winner vs. 9/8 Winner @ Dallas, TX 12:00 EST

Quarterfinals – December 15, 2007
Gator Bowl Region: 14/5 Winner vs. 12/4 Winner @ Jacksonville, FL 8:00 EST
Fiesta Bowl Region: 11/6 Winner vs. 13/3 Winner @ Glendale, AZ 4:30 EST
Citrus Bowl Region: 10/7 Winner vs. 15/2 Winner @ Orlando, FL 8:30 EST

Semifinals – December 22, 2007
Cotton Bowl Winner vs. Gator Bowl Winner @ Miami, FL 5:00 EST
Fiesta Bowl Winner vs. Citrus Winner @ Pasadena, CA 8:30 EST

Championship Game – December 31, 2007
Cotton/Gator Winner vs. Fiesta/Citrus Winner @ New Orleans, LA 8:30 EST

Stay tuned for pregame festivities, filmed live on Friday morning from G:TBCS headquarters -- that's G:TBCSHQ to you -- in Leesfolkington, VA. (Have I mentioned that our sponsor is AT&T?) We may not have Erin Andrews, but Teejay looks pretty spiffy in a housecoat.

Finally, a championship of the people, by the people, for the people. Enjoy, people.