G:TB Election Day Ballot

I hate politics. So of course rob asked me to throw some filler up today. I seemed to remember a time when I was semi-creative, and posted something pairing electoral candidates such as "Harry Callahan against John McLean", or "Paper vs. Plastic" (yeah, I know, uber creative). Ah yes, good times.

Anyway, I believe this post is to serve as an open thread for the rest of the evening, so as a starter I threw out a few elections below that are being closely eyed by the G:TB staff...join me in the comments with some others, won't you?

Oh yeah, remember, if confused at the ballot box, just think "What would Brian Boitano do?"

Special Election 6.9.1a: Ray Tango vs. Gabriel Cash
Not only are you choosing a winner, but the victor also owns the rights to the term 'F.U.B.A.R." in perpetuity.

Iniative 3.1415: Kang vs. Kodos
Don't care which way you folks lean on this, but bottom line, don't blame me, I voted Kodos.

Municipal Ordinace 420 (submitted by a reader): Code name Ichiro vs. Code name Benedict
This joke for four might fall off the ballot due to disinterest...or the munchies.

Non-Partisan Opinion of California: They're Pretty Much Screwed

I strongly urge the loyal readers of this site to read this article in the Opinions section today's Wall Street Journal. Before you (accurately) start scoffing that the WSJ's Opinions sections is generally a farcical extremely right-wing view of the world, allow me to preface your reading by stating that the article is, for the most part, a factual depiction of one FUBAR aspect of the state of California's sorry financial condition.

Here's a snippet for you too lazy (or too liberal) to mind-graze on their web site. It references a bill passed about a decade ago that determines pensions for many public employees:

The bill refigured the compensation formula for pension benefits of all public-safety employees who retired on or after January 1, 2000. It let firefighters retire at age 50 and receive 3% of their final year's compensation times the number of years they worked. If a firefighter started working at the age of 20, he could retire at 50 and earn 90% of his final salary, in perpetuity. One San Ramon Valley fire chief's yearly pension amounted to $284,000—more than his $221,000 annual salary.

In 2002, the state legislature further extended benefits to many nonsafety classifications, such as milk and billboard inspectors. More than 15,000 public employees have retired with annual pensions greater than $100,000. Who needs college when you can get a state job and make out like that?

The article broadly references why the state schools are squeezing kids in California - to pay the bloated pension obligations the state signed into law years ago. Makes you wonder if bankruptcy might be the best bet for the state. I read this article the same morning that I received a New Jersey Transit notification that fares will increase 25% and the number of trains in service will decline, in response to the state finally atoning for its own fiscal sins and closing its budget shortfall. It makes a man re-think his mission in life. And then return to attempting to pick his nose at his desk without getting caught.

Brutal juice for many to drink. Not this brutal juice, but brutal juice nonetheless. Happy hump day.