Rep. Lauren Boebert has been through some things. She became a grandmother when she was 36 and her son was 17, which means she became a mother at 19. Shortly thereafter she got divorced. I don't know the logistical complications that required her to bring her grandson to her divorce hearing, but I suspect a 17-year-old dad isn't the most reliable, responsible dad so maybe this was an emergency child care situation.
Somewhere in between all that she was thrown out of a musical performance of Beetlejuice for some vaping and heavy petting with her date.
I can't relate to a lot of this. I didn't have my first child until I was 37, and I cannot imagine zson convincing a woman to procreate with him now, in two years when he's 17, or even in 20 years. Ever, really. I don't know why there is a musical version of Beetlejuice or why anyone would want to see it. But I have been divorced and I can tell you that some weird stuff happens.
I can also tell you that weird stuff passes relatively quickly and you settle back into normalcy, at least if you're healthy. Boebert is still trying to find herself and it's getting surprising.
Someone recently filed a complaint against her with the Ethics Committee of the House of Representatives, accusing her of having sex with three of her staffers, including her Chief of Staff, and paying one of them $200,000 to secure their silence about these improper relationships. The most surprising part of this story is that two of the people involved are women. I say "surprising" because Boebert has a history of homophobia.
Predictably, she denies it. I obviously don't have all the facts so I don't know the truth, but it seems unlikely that someone would go on the record with a complaint like this unless they have the receipts (and in fact the complaint attaches some literal receipts showing how much the staff members were paid).
I hope Boebert figures things out, finds happiness, fills whatever void she has in her soul. But this whole situation irritates the daylights out of me for the rampant hypocrisy. Not because of the homophobia, which is awful but could potentially arise from her own ill-placed self-loathing. I'm talking about her reaction when two other representatives were recently accused of having sexual relations with staffers. What those guys did was atrocious, don't get me wrong, but Boebert called for their pensions and provided this gem of a soundbite:
#NEW: Rep. @laurenboebert talks sexual misconduct allegations on the Hill "Why is everybody so horny here?" She says people need to "go to church. Find Jesus." https://t.co/KASrfx7lkc
— Vinay Simlot (@VinaySimlot) April 16, 2026
Glass houses, my friends. Or should I say glass houses of representatives? I look forward to Boebert donating her pension to It Gets Better.
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