Gheorghe: The Blog has a number of active roster members as well as readers who reside in the nation's capital region, or at least did at one point. Myself included.
To those still there -- hey, enjoy our festival.
By "our festival," I mean the event that was brought to life by someone from my hometown as a way to lift up the sagging spirits and local economy in a way that benefited those that needed it most and unified the region in neighborly love and a give-a-shit attitude massage.
The Something in the Water festival was awesome.
Virginia Beach's own Pharrell Williams was the driving force behind the festival, which launched in 2019 as a three-day, action-packed mélange of music, artistic expression, youth programming, and neighborhood-building activities. There are music festivals, and then there are events that serve as building blocks for total community formation. This was the latter.
And I missed it. I don't even recall why . . . what a blockhead. It was this time of year, the weather was great, and there were concerts on the beach 25 minutes from my house. My daughters went and loved it. So did my friends. Maybe I figured this was the beginning of a long-standing festival, and that I'd catch it when the artists were more of my favorites.
Who played? Well, Pharrell did, obviously, with his hometown buddy Chad Hugo. And Va Beach's own Pusha T. And Norfolk's own Timbaland. And Missy Elliott, who grew up in Portsmouth. This town can produce some music.
Dave Matthews also played, as did Gwen Stefani, Busta Rhymes, Jay-Z, Diddy, Usher, Travis Scott, Tyler the Creator, and Sir Snoop Dogg OBE. By all accounts, it was great.
To appreciate the value of this event, you have to understand the region in which I live. I won't bore everyone with a history lesson. Well, I definitely will, but I'll give it to you in Cliffs Notes format:
- This region is known as the Birthplace of Colonial America. Williamsburg was a 4-5-year home to a number of us, so we recall that it's not much of a drive to get to where Cornwallis surrendered or where the first permanent English settlement (Lost Colony RIP) began.
- In 1619, the first slave ship supposedly landed on Old Point Comfort in Hampton, Not all history makes you proud.
- It's worth noting that this happened about 100 yards from the hotel that hosted the Pi Lam Sweetheart formal in the late 1980's and early 1990's. I have the distinct honor of having been a part of not one but two entities officially banned from this hotel for life: the Norfolk Academy Senior Party was there, and we were told never to return. Same went for the fraternity after we put the Best Pledge's head through a wall.
- Later on, the region was the site of the storied battle of the Monitor versus the Virginia (née Merrimack). Bridge-Tunnel out front shoulda told ya.
- The cities down this way are all named for English people and places. La-di-frickin-da. Norfolk, Suffolk, Portsmouth, Hampton, Yorktown (from Yorkshire), Gloucester, a burg for King William, a town for King James, Princess Anne County, and two capes across the bay, one named for an English king and another for a Prince of Wales. Hell, the state (ahem, Commonwealth, my son) and the beach town here owe their names to the Virgin Queen. (Well, at least she was a virgin in her freshman year.)
Okay, here's where it gets (mildly) interesting.
- Fast forward to the year of the Russian Revolution. 4,969 miles west, an installation was created to serve the US Navy. It was wartime, and down here we have the deepest natural harbor on the east coast. To date, Naval Station Norfolk is the largest Naval Base in the world. We're the best at superlatives!
- So for 100 years, we're been bringing sailors, seamen, squids, jarheads, frogmen, salty dogs, mariners, SEALs, and seafarers into this region. Many stay post-active duty.
- We also have Langley Air Force Base, Army bases Fort Eustis and Fort Story (where Rob ran during the Shamrock Marathon), a Marine command, 4 Coast Guard bases, a Naval Air Station, and a shit-ton of other military installations -- 15 in all.
- Also, as opposed to the tried and true model of one-city-with-suburbs, we've got Seven Cities. Seriously, that's what we're called. That and Hampton Roads, Tidewater, Coastal Virginia, or the 757.
- That last one is our latest attempt to name a region that refuses to be named. See what I wrote about it here.
So-called “Dillon’s Rule” states, including Virginia, operate under the assumption that localities can only wield powers explicitly authorized to them by the state. That approach has hamstrung cities that wish to solve some of the most pressing problems of their residents. States have voided municipal minimum wage laws, prevented local plastic bag bans, barred the municipal regulation of ride-sharing services and outlawed local family leave policies, to name a few examples.
- Norfolk, home to Les Coole, Clarence, Igor, and me. Nah-fuk. Produced Sweet Pea and Dee-Dubs and Bruce and Joe Smith. There's the east side of Norfolk, an "urban center" with folks in areas of chronic high poverty, and there's the w
hitest side of Norfolk where the money is. Norfolk used to be the epicenter of the region, but the star has faded over a generation. Votes blue. - Virginia Beach. Vah Beach. Produced Percy Harvin, Gabby Douglas, J.R. Reid, and Ryan Zimmerman. Huge tracts of land. Lots of affluence and swanky domiciles around the oceanfront, lots of pick-up trucks and Let's Go Brandon stickers elsewhere in the city. Was residential and touristy as recently as the 1980's, now has quite a bit of commerce. Uppity fuckers. Whole lotta honk. Votes red.
- Portsmouth. P-town. Virtually no sports stars are from here (save LaShawn Merritt), though they host the Portsmouth Invitational Tournament every year, which is pretty cool. Tiny and with lots of federal land with no serviceable tax revenue, they're always cash-poor. Known as the "armpit of Tidewater" when I was growing up, it has a cool Old Town area and a not-as-cool amount of crime. Fast fact: Patton Oswalt, Missy Elliott, Wanda Sykes, Bebe Buell, Mike Watt, and I were all born in the same hospital in Portsmouth. Votes super blue.
- Chesapeake. The Dirty Chez, as it's known in some places. Hometown of Zo, D. Hall, the Upton brothers, Brian Hightower, and Ricky Rudd. The most countryfied of the Seven Cities. Lotta Navy residents, lotta businesses because land is plentiful and cheap. Dollar Tree HQ, for example. Truck nuts and "more miles of deepwater canals than any other city in the country." That's about as interesting as Chesapeake gets. Votes as bright red as their necks.
- Hampton. Crabtown. The origin story of Allen Iverson, for fuck's sake. And Tyrod Taylor, Ronald Curry, and a number of others. Small, lots of waterfront, and a Black population near 50%. Always feuding with Newport News. Votes very blue.
- Newport News. "Newpert" News, say the locals. Bad News, but not Bad Newz, the "kennels" funded by NN product Michael Vick. Mike Tomlin, Aaron Brooks, and Al Toon are also from Newport News. What's the story in NN? Building ships. The city doesn't do much at all that isn't tied to Newport News Shipbuilding. Your tax dollars at work, every day. Boring. Slight blue vote advantage.
- Suffolk. "Surprising Suffolk." It's not surprising. It's rural. The guy who played Uncle Phil in "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" is from here, and he might've been an athlete. What's Suffolk about? Peanuts! The Peanut Capital of the World. For real. Mr. Peanut is from Suffolk. I didn't make that up. Votes rather red.
- Ella Fitzgerald
- Ruth Brown
- Gene Vincent
- Pearl Bailey
- Clarence Clemons
- Bruce Hornsby
- Seven Mary Three (oh yeah)
- Charlie Byrd
- Juice Newton
- Robert Cray
- Gary U.S. Bonds
- Steve Earle
- Les Coole (you knew that was coming)
- COVID-19. The pandemic neutralized the 2020 Something in the Water. And the 2021 version as well. My daughters got tickets to the 2020 fest as Christmas gifts. No refund, they simply kicked the can down the road and said, "See you next year, same time, same place!"
- $$$. Word on the street was that Pharrell took a bath on expenses to put the festival on, and that it might not be sustainable. Ruh-roh.
- A tragedy made worse. In March of 2021, a young Black man was shot and killed by police in Virginia Beach. He happened to be Pharrell's cousin. I don't know enough to render a judgment, but when the City investigation exonerated the officer, shocking no one, a bit of hell broke loose. And Pharrell severed ties with his hometown, yanking the festival away and sending an open letter to the city, mentioning "toxic energy." He took his ball and went away from home.
Oh . . . also . . . I didn't much care for this tidbit I saw on the site. For $50 one-way or $95 round-trip, they offer:
Local Shuttle: We are so happy to be offering direct shuttle bus service from Virginia Beach, VA to Washington, D.C for Something in the Water Music and Arts Festival 2022. It just wouldn't be the same without you!
I gotta say, uh . . . go fuck yourselves. It is without us. You bailed on us. Maybe for valid reasons. But don't throw us that bone wrapped in olive branches and piss on us and tell us it's raining and expect us to lap it up. You're done? So are we.
Oh, and just so you readers know, "The 2022 LOYALTY PRESALE ends today at 10pm." Maybe not a word we want to throw around when it comes to this particular event.
We had our hopes built on something that proved as solid as the coffee table Matt Foley landed on.
Whoops-a-daisy . . . whoops-a-daisy.
27 comments:
I wish you took the time to write out all your thoughts, to tell a full story, to share how you really feel.
Thanks, Z
that's more research than whit did in all six years of college. solid to quite solid.
I am enormous NFL Draft dork. Have been since I was a kid. Used to take Peter King’s mock draft in SI and mark up the real selections. This is an all timer of a first round.
…excepting the mediocre Washington pick
What an opus. It seems they should book Pokey Lafarge for this, even if it might be a Buddy Holly at The Apollo type of scenario. Pokey has the pipes and confidence to pull it off.
you gotta find scott van pelt's eulogy for his dog, otis. i'm sure it's online lots of places. it's excellent. dogs are grace.
It is, Rob. Watched it this morning. Got a little dusty in my office.
Dre Bly is from Chesapeake if I recall.
I spent a lot of time in the 757 (I always preferred Hampton Roads as a moniker) during my first two years of college. Chowan was a little over an hour away and a huge chunk of the student body was from that area so a number of weekends were spent in various parts of Tidewater. Even got my very first tattoo in Hampton. Just the other day, one of the cooks at my local bar was wearing a Poquoson Basketball shirt. He was shocked I knew where it was.
Thanks for listening to me babble because I'm sure none of that information is useful.
I think it is!! I also got my first tattoo in Hampton. So did Dave the same day.
Great post! Only point of contention —Newport (newpert!) News isn’t all boring — I live here 😀. Ha!
Have a good weekend y’all —it’s a beautiful day here.
Sorry, Donna!!! You’re the best part of it. In truth, I was just lazy. I’ve had fun at Harpoon Larry’s and Hilton Tavern.
You guys know this Boehly chap? Seems to be on a nice run.
I'm down with Pokey LaFarge. He has an evolutionary Squirrel Nut Zippers vibe.
Pokey is great. I hear Queen on the radio yesterday, and realized at that moment that he's got some Freddie Mercury influence in his voice.
I'm glad to see Boehly still has the same punchable face that he did in college. I do find it a bit weird to see stories about his investment group, since he seemed equally unmotivated, and only 69% as smart, as many of the Tribe alumni on this humble blog. I don't feel a desire to punch any of you, though.
jesus, this is a tough friday read. on a lighter note, I really enjoyed listening to aaron neville's version of "everybody plays the fool." much better than the version I remember hearing when I was a kid.
holy shit, and the 1991 video. awesome.
Darn fine, comprehensive primer on Whit's corner of the world, and my home for 30 years.
To Whit's point about balkanization and municipalities choosing to give each other the stink-eye about sharing and regional cooperation, that's a contributing factor to why the area has never had a major league sports franchise, and is unlikely to ever get one. All the towns -- well, all the Southside towns -- think they should be the location of a stadium or arena, and are routinely reluctant to pitch in because, hey, what's in it for me?
NHL seriously considered HR for expansion or relocation in mid 1990s. Agreement in principle to build a 20k arena in Norfolk and everything. Fizzled.
Hampton Roads was also in discussion for MLB Expos relocation in early, mid 2000s. Though I became convinced that HR, Louisville, San Juan P.R. and couple others were simply placeholders while MLB waited for D.C. group to get its act together.
Consultants and major league officials often like area and plans, but cite fractured and uncooperative municipalities, and lack of major corporate, Fortune 500 presence. Which balkanization also contributes to, as it's rare to have unified, regional pitches to big biz, so they mostly go elsewhere.
Whit knows the landscape better than most, and he may disagree or offer added perspective.
Also, a few more athletes from Seven Cities: David Wright, Kam Chancellor, Jerod Mayo, Todd Kelly, Antoine Bethea, Dwight Stephenson.
i lived with boehly (among several others) for a summer in williamsburg. didn't do enough to befriend him, obviously. one of my vivid memories of that summer was when brian knapp's parents came into the house without knocking while our friend brother old and i were partaking of our daily bong hit in preparation for our daily round of frisbee golf. we impressed them mightily. i wasn't all that productive that summer.
Did you do a bong hit before crafting that second sentence?
i will truck no complaint about that second sentence. the third, well, that's a different story.
no bong hit, but i did have two double orange starfishes at lph with dinner.
Almost joined you there but didn't work out. Next time.
each of the commanders' first two picks have publicly expressed surprised at being picked as early as they were. meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
pour some out for naomi judd
Poor Naomi didn’t make the last tour. The Judds episode on Cocaine and Rhinestones S1 was quite a story.
Spent the weekend hosting FOGTB Buckles. We tore it up pretty good. Happy Sunday, gheorghies. It’s beautiful here in SE VA.
Birds Aren’t Real profiled on 60 Minutes tonight. GTB had the scoop.
as usual
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