Friday, June 09, 2017

Well That Turned Out to be a Terrible Idea


Those of you who have known me longest know that I have been prone to some epic bad decision-making. Since my college days, I have made mostly good decisions on the job/family front, but my college years could best be summed up as "Bad decisions and their unfortunate consequences". This refers to academics, military endeavors, fraternity decisions, substance use/abuse, matters of the heart and (more often) matters of the groin.

Fast forward to today. We are living in the world of Trumplestiltskin. And it is an unpleasant time. The potential for civil liberty erosion, a potential war with North Korea, the increased rancor in everyday life, and the idea that I actually agree with Rob on political matters is too much for me to handle.

The 24/7 news cycle has become too much to handle, and I found myself diving down the rabbit hole every time the liberals and the never Trump Republicans wet the bed getting worked up on the fat man's latest misstep. As a result, I recently had to do a self-intervention with technology, realizing that I spend far too much evening time on my electronic devices. It is affecting my sleep, because I am now no longer reading before nodding off, something I have done for most of my life.

So I had multiple reasons to pursue distractions from CNN's 96-pt font hyperbole (BREAKING NEWS!!!) on my iPad and TV. On a recent Acela train from Boston to NYC, I started digging into The Handmaid's Tale on Hulu. On that same train, I ordered some books from Amazon, to try to re-ignite my love for the ancient hobby of reading paper books. I ordered a Winston Churchill biography, as well as Cormac McCarthy's The Road. The latter item was something I'd been itching to dig into for a while - a Pulitzer Prize winning novel that others spoke highly of. But I have to admit I knew little of the details. When both arrived, the massive Churchill tome immediately looked imposing. So I opted for the smaller McCarthy book.

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What does this mean? It means I spent the last three weeks escaping the Trump presidency by watching The Handmaid's Tale and reading The Road, two extremely personal tales of tortured souls trying to survive in a post-apocalyptic America. Yep, that turned out to be a terrible idea. A really really bad one. A shiver-inducing, may-as-well-drink-scotch-while-it's-still-available kinda decision. Both works of art make me want to build a bunker and buy some guns, which is unfortunate, because the (sur)real world of Trumplestiltskin occasionally makes me want to do the same. I almost took a break from these show/book to watch Schindler's List to cheer myself up. Praise be.

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After finishing The Road over Memorial Day weekend, I needed something light. Immediately. So I dug into a book I had purchased a week before, unaware how ironic the timing would prove to be. The book is the highly entertaining Gregg Allman biography My Cross to Bear. It arrived less than a week before his passing. Reading about the teenage Allman Brothers learning the blues and sowing their oats in Daytona and Los Angeles in the late 1960's is a more apt form of escapism for my weary soul these days. As my buddy Lester Burnham said in American Beauty, "At least once a day, I want to retire to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."

Happy 6/9, gents and dames.

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42 comments:

zman said...

TR gets the coveted June 9 slot. Handmaid's Tale is very well done but I don't enjoy it. It's just miserable. Nothing good happens, which I guess is the point. If you want a really light distraction watch Married At First Sight Second Chances. It's like The Bachelor only trashier and on a much lower budget and with uglier people.

rob said...

the road is haunting.

i get my escapism fix from sports, food network and tiny house porn.

Whitney said...

The house was built too small.

Whitney said...

And happy 6/9, good people. May you.

T.J. said...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsC8zEgZEfo

zman said...

I like tiny house but I don't get tiny houses. If you have three acres along a river, why not go for 1500 square feet?

rob said...

i hear you. that use case for tiny houses seems a bit odd. but i've got a 450 square foot area in my back yard that's gonna be empty when i get rid of a monstrosity of a swingset, and it'll look really good with a shed that's converted to a man retreat.

Whitney said...


Rob's no longer into swinging. Someone tell his neighbors.

rob said...

i'll always be into that song, tho. fond memories of my youth as the son of a country n' western-lovin' dad.

Whitney said...


I'm more of a Seminole Wind guy.

John Anderson from Apopka FL.

rob said...

also a good 'un

Whitney said...

Back to TR's post, I've been accused more than once of making what has been termed "Poor Choices"

Whitney said...


Derek Trucks:

"If it's anything beyond a show, I would think the intention would be wrong. You can't have the Allman Brothers without Butch Trucks and Gregg Allman. Those are just irreplaceable spirits. And you can't have an Allman Brothers gig without an Allman brother. I've heard people try to argue that you can, but I'm not buying it. If Duane's not there, Gregg certainly better be there. There are a few bands out there right now that are using names that maybe shouldn't be. That's another discussion."

Who do you figure he's talking about?

Skynyrd comes to mind.

rob said...

mike love, man

zman said...

Is it a coincidence that I'm getting a migraine 4.5 hours before zsister-in-law's rehearsal dinner?

TR said...

Stressed out about being in a big room full of ladies that won't wait your Hungarian sausage?

rob said...

so close

Whitney said...

How did I not think of Mike Love???? I guess the therapy is working.

zman said...

I don't think I've ever been in a big room full of ladies who want my Hungarian sausage.

Mark said...

Ditched the kids and work to day drink with the wife at the beach today. Never a bad choice.

My wife jumped into "A Handmaid's Tale" without me due to the NBA Finals. I'm not pleased with that choice by her. But I can't really butch since I take over the main TV a few nights a week for the NBA this time of year.

Mark said...

I love biographies and am currently reading Pimp C's. It's great. I'm gonna make the Greg Allman one my next book. Saw the Allmans live once at Suwannee during my time in Gainesville and heavily under the influence. Pretty amazing.

Mark said...

Oh, last thing...Fuck Seminole Wind.

rob said...

the allmans at suwannee sounds like peak south

zman said...

Rafa Nadal is: 9-0 in French Open finals; playing his 10th final tomorrow; 78-2 at Roland Garros; and he's been the top seed only three times. Someone in Paris needs to work on that seeding system.

Mark said...

Very, very south. Any concert at Suwannee is dope. Saw James Brown there too. And this is coming from an accomplished indoorsman. It's a great venue for a festival. Especially in the spring or fall when the heat/humidity isn't crippling.

Danimal said...

Just finished Shoe Dog the other day...the story of Nike's beginning. It was excellent.

Dave said...

very mindful TR. my strategy is to refrain from the daily news cycle entirely. i learn everything secondhand from people at work and my students . . . it's fun. this was my monday: there was a terrorist attack? in london? at the kid concert? no? a different one?

i showed some of "all the president's men" today and made the kids tell me about the comey testimony. i told them i'd wait for the movie. in general, i tend to wait a few weeks and read a good article, rather than follow anything, to preserve my mental health.

"the road" gets me choked up . . . it's such a great father/son story. the mom just abandons ship and kills herself on page three!

the main thing is that my two sons and six of their friends have been very seriously playing dungeons and dragons for the past week. they were on my back porch all afternoon with minifigures, a big map, all kinds of tomes and books, character sheets, and sketched out diagrams. alex and ian are still out there discussing the merits of crossbows, flails, maces, leather armour, and such. they sound really smart!

Dave said...

i probably didn't need the exclamation point there, but my kids have been mainly getting hit by cars and painting penises on locker room walls this year.

mayhugh said...

Whit - thanks for the VB recommendations. We visited quite a few and they were all hits. About to down a Waterman's Orange Crush.

Mark said...

Interesting approach by the refs tonight.

rob said...

i was kinda puling for the 16-0 golden state closeout, but much respect to the cavs saying 'fuck that'.

zman said...

RIP Adam West.

Whitney said...

I went to an engagement party for my stepbrother's son at my dad's house tonight. Dad came up to me and said, "I need you to turn down the music so I can give a toast. Oh, but not right this second because I really like this song." I couldn't really hear it and leaned in closer so I could hear what it was.

Sugaree.
Stunned. Dad just smiled.

30 years later, my influence is finally working. Long live Jerry.

rob said...

we just watched logan as family, or as 3/4 of a family, anyway. wolverine is my favorite superhero character, and i dug it. but, boy, parental guidance advised. there's some gory shit in that film.

mr kq said...

Saw Joe Jackson tonight at Woftrap. Best sounding show acoustically I've seen in 30 years.

mr kq said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rob said...

was it in stereo?

Whitney said...

Love Joe Jackson. One More Time is a killer pop song.

Whitney said...

Zman, Rob, et al...
Does Wawrinka have any chance?

rob said...

sure. he's really good. but nadal's gotta be the favorite.

rob said...

no. no chance.

Whitney said...

Didn't think so. Too good.