Thursday, October 08, 2015

Ce n'est pas un rendezvous

This Saturday, while TR was griping about how the rain and wind ruined his golf outing, I drove 100 miles in a rainstorm to attended an "Audi driving experience" event at Monticello Motor Club. I'm not sure how I was deemed worthy of an invitation, but I assume it had something to do with being a subscriber to Car and Driver for almost 30 years, owning a plurality of Audis, and the data obtained from various tracking cookies.

I was the probably the youngest attendee, but for two trophy wives in their early thirties who dutifully attended with their wizened husbands. There were about 40 people total, all white, all but three male, almost all in their late 40s to mid 50s. It was like a partners meeting at a law firm, except everyone wore jeans.

The first leg of the event was a drive on public roads in an A3 and an A6. This was reasonably enjoyable, in no small part thanks to the 50-something guy I rode with, Dave. He had just bought his daughter an A3, and he used to run a BMW dealership. Now he drives a vintage 911, auto crosses a souped up Mini, and has a Cayenne S as his daily wheels. Apparently he gets invited to lots of these things.

The second leg was an auto cross course. First we drove an A3, 228i, and a CLA 250. The 228i was surprisingly unathletic. The CLA was zippy but uncomfortable and the shifter was ridiculously fussy. The A3 was the best of the group. Then we drove an A6, 535i, and an E350. We ran out of time before I could drive the Bimmer, but the A6 beat the pants off of the Merc.

Dave gave me a few auto cross pointers at the start and he laid down some great times. But it turns out that I'm fast as hell (which all the ladies already know).


Parenthetically, I'd never been to one of these types of things before but I nailed the outfit perfectly. Everyone wore a short sleeve shirt under a zip up fleece under a waterproof soft shell, neither of which were made by North Face, and a cotton twill cap that did not have the logo of a sport team. One guy in his mid forties rocked a 918 Spyder hat, implying that he did one of these for Porsche's 918 launch. Dooshey, but I was envious. I had the best kicks though, natch.

The third and final leg was what made me drive 100 miles in the rain. We drove an Audi RS5 on the big track at the race club. The RS5 is an A5 on steroids, and I'm talking Victor Conte's finest A-Rod stuff, not just the cream or the clear. The highlight is a 4.2 liter naturally aspirated V-8 engine making 450 horsepower. If you don't know much about cars, that's a lot of horsepower, more than double the output of an A5. Here's the video of my run. I ran out of talent at 3:34 but managed to keep it on the track. Unfortunately, Dave was no Claude Lelouch so the cinematography pales in comparison to Claude's.



Then we drove an R8, Audi's halo product. It's a legit supercar. It has the same engine as an RS5, but it's a lighter car with the engine located behind the passengers and in front of the rear axle. This mid-engine layout puts all the weight in the middle of the car and results in superb handling. Base price starts at $115,900 and it climbs precipitously when you add options (like the $9100 automatic transmission, for example). The one we drove was probably optioned out to about $150,000. To say it's a preposterous car is an understatement. As you can see, it repeatedly made me say "Jesus Christ" and other expletives of that nature.



I had tremendous fun and accomplished numerous first: my first drive in a 400+ horsepower car, my first drive in a supercar, my first drive on a track. All in the rain! It took great restraint to obey speed limits on the way home, and now I'm frustratingly trying to justify getting a used RS5 while remaining a fiscally responsible parent. I keep telling myself that zson will probably get a magna-tile scholarship (he's a wizard with those things) so I don't need to save money for his college tuition. zdaughter isn't good at anything yet so saving for her tuition is the reason why I can't join a track.

If you ever have the chance to go to one of these track days you should do it, regardless of the manufacturer or your lack of interest in fast cars. You'll have a blast, although you might end up resenting your kids.

44 comments:

Danimal said...

That's awesome Z. My boss has an A8 W-12. Tis a beast but not nearly as fun as an R8 I would think. Nice job.

Danimal said...

Wouldn't think.

T.J. said...

zcars

rob said...

use all the turn, zman. this is awesome.

zman said...

I think he said to "use all the track." One of the keys to driving fast is to drive as straight as possible, and doing that requires using big arcs to turn, and that requires using as much of the track's width as possible.

zman said...

And it looks like I embedded the same video twice. Because I'm an idiot.

Shlara said...

great post Z!

TR said...

When I was in Houston y/day, I saw a BMW i8 in the hotel valet area. I googled it. Base price is $136K. It has crazy doors like a Delorean, but at an angle.

If I was a wealthy wealthy man with a tiny schlong, I'd be all over that car.

rob said...

halfway there, tr. halfway there.

zman said...

I saw an i8 about a week ago for the first time. Photos don't do it justice. It has tons of crazy contour and grooves and channels. It's cool but for that kind of money I want more than three cylinders.

Mark said...

I saw one a month or so ago as well. They are indeed badass.

TR said...

I'm excited for Bill O'Brien's hiring by Rutgers in January.

Mark said...

Bill O'Brien loves Rick Ross. He's a natural fit at Miami.

T.J. said...

Under Armour money will have him at Maryland

TR said...

For those of you that haven't seen this clip yet, you're welcome.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_hPp4dgmrc8

Dave said...

hey gheorghies!

that was the most exhilarating post in a while.

i drive a toyota sienna minivan. when i go fast with lots of kids in it, it feels like i might tip over.

Dave said...

car related post on sentence of dave today

T.J. said...

Another shooting on a college campus? Jfc people

Mark said...

I love the Under Armour angle with Maryland Football but I think moving to the Big Ten (specifically the division they're in) makes the job even less attractive. So much competition. If Maryland was still in the ACC they'd only have to compete with FSU to be at the top and could become at least #2 in relatively short order. Much more difficult to do that where they currently reside.

TR said...

Somebody answer this for me:

Have any other players with 2500 hits and 400 HRs besides Adrian Beltre been in only 4 All-Star games? That's a low number. Dude has had a couple monster years and a lot of meh years.

T.J. said...

My favorite feature on Baseball Ref - Similarity Scores. These are the ones for Beltre. Not too shabby:

Dave Parker (884)
Jeff Kent (874)
Luis Gonzalez (863)
Aramis Ramirez (861)
Gary Gaetti (857)
Torii Hunter (856)
Carlos Lee (848)
Carlos Beltran (846)
Dwight Evans (846)
Scott Rolen (842)

TR said...

Look at you! Great peers, but confirms he's not HoF material.

T.J. said...

There's also a few PED cheaters on that list, methinks.

Mark said...

Ugly ass Gary Gaetti has really slipped through the cracks of history.

Dave Parker's the best player on that list, right? Even with the coke problem.

Clarence said...

Dave Parker was a beast. I'd put this in my personal top 10 greatest sports plays that I watched on TV as it happened. Watch it.

This is definitely the greatest play I ever saw in person. Too bad it didn't end as well.

Danimal said...

Rodeo Clown Double IPA...Texas beer. Bush Airport. God beer. Great name.

zman said...

Ooh, this might be fun. This is definitely in my top 10 plays that I watched happen on TV.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7vsjOHq5E0

This is too, but I enjoyed it much less.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCJFmL4oxPE

Someone should write a Bills/Titans preview for Sunday's game.

TR said...

Unlike Danimal, I'm stuck at DFW airport, drinking double vodka tonics at "Pizza Pub". It's even sadder than the name would suggest. Stupid thunderstorms delaying me.

Clarence said...

They call it God beer in Texas, huh? Figures. With Freedom Barley and Border Hops?

rob said...

gtb planes, trains, autos. i'm at the bar at msp headed home, drinking one final surly furious.

Shlara said...

Gheoghies--I'm in Pasadena, CA for a wedding and apparently there's a big CONCACAF match at the Rose Bowl tomorrow.
And it appears that all of the futbol muckety-mucks are in my hotel. And the Mexico team.

mayhugh said...

I'm thinking of taking Georgia Tech (+7) against Clemson), Tennessee (+2.5) home against Georgia, and the Under (34) Michigan/Northwestern.

Danimal said...

I like that GA Tech bet. I might take them to win.
Northwestern covers.
And fogtb Buckles is swearing to baby Jesus that osu covers vs Maryland....that's 33 puntos.

rob said...

usa vs mexico for some of the marbles, shlara. trip to russia for the confederations cup on the line. and maybe jurgen klinsmann's job.

Whitney said...

Let's Go Mets.

May Clayton Kershaw quickly go the way of Nik Kershaw. Not likely, but wouldn't it be good...

rob said...

jerry really wasn't thinking ahead when he planned this wedding. mets in the playoffs, usa soccer with a huge match. poor effort.

zman said...

Is there ever a good time to get married?

Whitney said...

Jerry abandoned the Mets years ago.

For love.

Mark said...

I was married in late February. Post Super Bowl. Pre March Madness. A perfect time in the sporting calendar. And because of where I live it was in the mid 70s.

I ate way too much tonight. Kurobuta pork chops. Truffle cheese fries. Heirloom tomato salad with homemade burrata. Lamb meatballs. And more.

T.J. said...

Jerome's rehearsal dinner this evening, despite conflicting with Los Mets, was a terrific time. It was at Hill Country BBQ, so I too ate waaaay too much food.

T.J. said...

Also...hola gheorghies

Mark said...

TJ tweeted about Jerrys dinner tonight. So researched the venue. That place looked amazing. I'd gladly get meat sweats there.

T.J. said...

The brisket alone was worth the trip

Whitney said...

h/t to Don Mattingly for pulling Clayton Kershaw when he had owned David Wright the prior two at-bats, and Wright was battling the crappy home plate ump as well. In retrospect, a costly move for LA. Love it.