This Friday night, the William & Mary Alumni Association will be having their annual fundraising auction, which they alternate yearly between Washington DC and New York City. Given DC's ongoing sharknado it's a good thing that this year's shindig is in NYC at Tom Colicchio's Riverpark restaurant. Mrs. Marls and I have been the last few years and it's always a good time, especially as you try get your money's worth at the open bar without puking on the shoes of the school president. If any G:TB'ers or FOG:TB are going to be in or around NYC on Friday, I highly recommend it.
One of the highlights of this year's live auction is an item that the Teej mentioned to me in an email today. Paul's Deli, right across from the William & Mary campus, Zman's former employer, and a favorite dining spot of many not named Whitney, donated the right to name a sandwich for life.
That's right folks, you can now immortalize yourself, someone else, or something in meat and cheese. I say immortalize because I sincerely doubt that George will be checking the national obituaries in order to revise the menu board. They had this item on the block last year as well and it went for over $10 grand. Unfortunately, Mrs. Marls and I are not in the right tax bracket to be dropping 5 figures on such frivolity, but it can't stop one from considering the possibilities...
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I'm taking Amtrak to NYC this morning and it's loaded with Villanova fans heading to the Big East tourney. My view on the intellectual abilities of Villanova students is taking a nosedive.
The Boston Garden put their naming rights on eBay once and the winner wanted to call it the Derek Jeter Center. That didn't happen--the Jimmy Fund got involved and a classier resolution was obtained.
But I am classless and would opt for something like the "W&M is a dump" sandwich. If pressed to be classier I would name it after Dean.
I'll go with the "Marls Salami Sausage Grinder".
'the squirrel' would be messy, small, and delicious.
The Voorcheese would contain ground beef, at least four different cheeses, and enough chili to assure flautlence and violent bowel movements for hours.
I got said emails from the alumni association. You get to pick the name but not the sandwich. The sandwich is a seafood gyro with shrimp and scallops. I think "The Klam" would be more fitting.
The Bearded Klam?
The Whitney would be a "grande" from la tolteca on a bun, with the right to sleep in the shitter once you're finished.
The Pip would be a cheesesteak with an egg and a pack of smokes on it.
The Sploid would be a ham and cheese sandwich so delicious that it gives you an aneurysm.
The Johnny G would be a sushi and collared greens super-sized hero.
The Hightower would be an empty shorti-roll (in order to fill it, you have to steal the deli meats from your friends' sandwiches).
The Unit M would be a random assortment of foul smelling meats.
The Martha Wood is the same collection of foul smelling meats but on a toasted bun.
The Zman would be sliced white meat turkey with white american cheese and mayo on white bread.
the clarence would be an extra-large liver sandwich
i don't know what would be in the kq and the shlara, but i do know they'd be hot.
/ladies man
Marls, you forgot the Hungarian pepperoni on that Zman. Send it back.
This reminds me of Golf Party my senior year, when we named the drink in our room "The Tasty Wad Shooter" and made girls say "I want the tasty wad" before we would pour it down their gullets as they laid back in the room's recliner (which was also Marls' bed most nights).
#classy
Well played Rootsy. I need to Nip that omission in the bud.
TR, was that golf party also your birthday & the night the power went out?
I believe so. That night...was eventful.
It's also included that bottle of BartholaGoldschlager and the highbrow game of "Everyone pick a card. Lowest card does a shot. Shuffle deck and repeat."
There was a Teaneck contingent at the golf party. They're still scarred by it.
ohhhhhh, THAT night
/shivers with flashback
Squirrel and I attended a momentous golf party as alums. He tells it well.
There was also a golf party at the end of which Squirrel vomited and passed out. We went to the Delly where Dave's high school hoodlum friends met us when they rolled into town, super drunk. They thought some short kid near us was Squirrel. They hugged him. And punched him. And somebody licked his cheek. (I don't know.) And they all screamed SQUIRREL!!! At the top of their lungs a bunch of times. Oddly enough, this started a Delly-clearing brawl. Which could have been avoided if Squirrel could hold his liquor.
i licked his cheek. whoops. should have been able to recognize that this guys was squirrel's doppelganger, but i was heavily under the influence of pepe lopez.
the dave would be a meatball parm sub, and you would always find a hair in it.
Jane Shivers flashback? I think Clarence's alum golf party story concludes with him throwing a punch that knocked two guys diwn just as Pedro rolled up, then raining punches on the top of my head as I tried to pull him away to avoid arrest. He apologized after a few shots to my dome.
Yup. Sorry 'bout that, Z.
Did clarence break into the Caf that night, or is that another story?
Never did that. My times running from the law (the press and the parents) were limited to a few bad episodes. Got cited with Dave for possession of alcohol underage but we got off because on court day the officer was on detail for the President of South Korea who was in town. Awww, yeah, SoKo.
Got a stupid tres charge and did a little time for swimming in the Tioga Motel pool and then failure to appear. Got my revenge, Tioga is there no more. You're welcome, Love, Clarence.
You've heard of the Williamsburg Four? That was me. And three other guys. Clarence abides.
And then there was Black Hawk Down Clarence that Z referenced. And then there was Squirrel's bachelor fest which unveiled the forearm of very little justice. Clarence likes his strudel, what can I say?
Relatively speaking, I was a saint.
Somebody broke into the Caf. I think it may have been homecoming.
i escorted pedro around the lammie house that evening. you fuckers owe me. that was right after i told some youngster that these frat guy shoving matches never amount to anything. which was right before clarence's helicopter of fists left the launchpad.
Mars, Mazzone and maybe Pucket broke into the Caf and returned with a bunch of frozen pizza slut mini pizzas one night.
the whitney is two large sandwiches, but you have to order them sheepishly.
But not lammiely?
Ill catch up with you guys tomorrow.
off to new orleans in the morning. happy.
Off to Vancouver in the morning. Also happy.
Just realized that Amex has auctions for different events where you bid with amex points. Three day VIP pass at Jazzfest went for 62,500 points. Not a bad deal.
I never got into a bar fight...in college.
But I did end up in Campus Crimes for a BAC of .399 my senior year.
That is not a typo
dude. story?
You couldn't get to .4?
#lame
Shlara wins the night.
I'm also quite jealous of Rob and Teej. Probably more Teej since I've only been to Vancouver once and it was only for a day. That city is Fanfuckingtastic.
It was fun to watch Notre Dame choke away a 16-pt 2nd half lead. But then they had to come back and win, which takes all the fun out of watching them choke.
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