The Day We've All Been Waiting For Might Never Happen

When I first started writing about Jack Urbont's lawsuit against Sony Music and Ghostface Killah, I said:

The best part of this case is yet to come: discovery. I salivate at the thought of getting to review Ghostface Killah's emails over the past 11+ years. And can you imagine what his deposition will be like? I envision a transcript peppered with "C'mon son," "Nah mean," and "Word is bond God."

Unfortunately, the "best part" may never happen. Mr. Urbont recently filed a motion for sanctions against Pretty Tone for completely blowing off all of his discovery obligations, including several emails attached as exhibits. It's a bit of a hoot (although they thankfully refer to Ghostface as "Coles").

The firm representing Mr. Urbont sent an associate named Andrew Coffman to take Ghost's deposition. Mr. Coffman has an impressive resume and he looks like a nice enough guy.

He does not, however, look like the type of guy who regularly spends 7 hours locked in a conference room with this guy:

Note that we have photographic evidence that GFK still uses a Blackberry; maybe he and Mr. Coffman have that in common. Anyway, Mr. Coffman flew up to NYC from Nashville and he showed up for the deposition. So did counsel for Sony. As did the court reporter and presumably the videographer. The only person who failed to make it? Ghostdini! They even recorded the world's shortest transcript to document his absence.

So they rescheduled the deposition about two-and-a-half months later. It was moved again to accommodate The Kid, only about five days but the back-and-forth between Mr. Coffman and the Wallabee Champ's manager Mike Caruso is fantastic. Mr. Caruso proudly rocks an AOL email handle and gives no fucks at all about grammar and spelling. He clearly doesn't understand what a deposition is or how it works because at one point he asked Mr. Coffman "and as far as the deposition can you take it from Dennis late today?" No, Mr. Coffman can't do it late today because (a) he's in Nashville, (b) the deposition is noticed for NYC, (c) he has to line up a court reporter and videographer, (d) he has to line up a conference room to hold the event, (e) he has to get all his exhibits there, and (f) he's entitled to 7 hours on the record, which doesn't include breaks, so if you start "late" you'll be there until midnight. And more importantly ... Dennis? Really? C'mon son.

Anyway, they eventually agreed to hold the deposition on June 24. On the night of June 23, Mr. Coffman, Mr. Caruso, and Ironman himself had a conference call where Toney Starks explained that he was in LA and would not be able to make his deposition the next morning. He essentially asked for a do over.



Since then, the parties haven't been able to schedule the deposition. And GFK still hasn't produced a single document.

Mr. Urbont is accordingly ripshit. He wants a default judgment and he wants to be comped for all the money he outlaid for these depositions that never happened. And he might get it given that the judge already threatened to sanction Cocaine Biceps if he didn't comply with his discovery obligations.

The biggest loser in all of this? Obviously, Mr. Coffman. Even if he had no idea who Ghostface Killah was before this case, a few minutes spent working the googles would make it plainly apparent that this deposition was the opportunity of a young barrister's lifetime. A few well-placed questions with Ghostfacian answers could land him on the homepages of Law360, WorldstarHipHop, Grantland, hell maybe even Gheorghe: The Blog! Unfortunately, it looks like it will never happen.