Saturday, January 12, 2013

This Week in Wrenball: Desperate Measures

Matt Rum needs to wear a garter belt.

The Tribe's lone senior contributor, Rum's a glue guy, this year's Kendrix Brown. He leads the team in assists, while maintaining a stellar 1.8:1 assist to turnover ratio. His 4.9 rebounds per outing is good for third-best on the team, behind a pair of frontcourt players. He's second on the squad in steals, and leads W&M with an 84.2% success rate at the free throw line.

That last stat makes this one all the more perplexing, for you see, Rum can't hit water when he falls out of a boat from the field. (Tortured that one a bit, admittedly, but since we don't have editors, I get to run with it. Eat your heart out, Dave Fairbank.) He's made only 23 of his 77 attempts from the floor this season, good for 29.9% accuracy. After making over 37% of his three-point shots in 2011-12, Rum's only connecting on 28.6% this year. And those numbers are actually up over the past 5 games, in which he's knocked down 41.6% from the field and 45% of his threes. He's gone from putrid to merely bad. Though if the trend is to be believed, perhaps this correspondent is a bit slow on the draw. Or Rum's already sporting a pretty little teddy under his uniform.

The real Matt Rum is neither putrid nor merely bad as a shooter, as his junior campaign evidenced. And if the real Matt Rum joins the Tribe offense for the remainder of the season, a starting rotation with a wealth of offensive options becomes downright deadly.

So in the best tradition of Ebby Calvin LaLoosh, we've ordered Rum a green and gold lingerie set in advance of this afternoon's tilt at Hofstra. If he looks both a little bit embarrassed and really effective from deep, you'll know why.

As for his teammates, they head to Long Island on a four-game losing streak, red-assed from a particularly galling double-overtime loss at Towson, where they blew a 7-point lead in the last 1:18 of regulation. Hofstra's 4-11 and in the midst of one of the more miserable seasons in school history, on and off the court. The DutchPride are 1-1 in CAA, but are the kind of team that this W&M squad should handle easily.

Should. Could. Had better.

29 comments:

T.J. said...

Trying to find a Ballotelli (sp?) jersey in my size is imposible.

Mark said...

I like those Tribe unis. Any idea where I can get a pair of those shorts?

zman said...

I bet "Tribe" jerseys would've sold like hotcakes in the NY area circa 1990-95.

Marls said...

Mark, grab a pair on the 26th.

Marls said...

You are looking live at the PrideDome in Hempstead, LI.

rob said...

nice start for the wrens

Marls said...

Tribe down 13 early. Looking like the tribe I know and love.

Marls said...

Tribe cuts the lead to 10 at the half. They look terrible.

rob said...

starting to question this team's resolve.

rob said...

another shitty loss in the offing

rob said...

don't look now, but bo ryan's squad is 3-0 in big ten play. under the radar as ever, drilled illinois today after a pair of wins over nobodies. at indiana on wednesday - guess we'll learn something.

and mark's 12-2 gators are straight wrecking fools. none of their 12 wins have been by less than double figures, and only one by less than 17.

i figure if i dig in deep on non-caa college hoops i might be able to forget how much the tribe disappoints me right now.

Marls said...

Dywane's first pick is a winner.

rob said...

really, really looking forward to more ray lewis coverage.

Mark said...

Jerry doesn't want to hear this but , uh...Peyton Manning underwhelming in big games. Still kind of a thing.

Squeaky said...

Miss Ohio's last name is McCrackin. Hope she wins it all. And nothing like flipping back and forth between the awful Miss America pageant and playoff football. How wife goes to bed soon. Can't take the pageant shit.

rob said...

nice pants your wife has there, squeakington.

Mark said...

Shots fired.

Squeaky said...

Not too worry, I made enough sexist comments to drive her upstairs.

rob said...

mark, care to comment on the gators, or are you worries you'll jinx them, tommy boy-style?

rob said...

i'd go back and find the comment thread where i said crabtree would be a beast, but that would require effort. you'll just have to trust me.

and holy kaepernick!

Mark said...

Kaepernick is awesome. Makes me glad I stayed up late and got drunk(er) while watching Nevada football the past few years.

As for the Gators, I have some thoughts on this team. I like them a lot. Will communicate them in a longer format soon. Best defensive Gator team since 06-07, though in a completely different fashion.

Mark said...

Jesus, Kaepernick is good. Big arm, great touch and accuracy. Oh, and he's super fucking fast.

rob said...

he's like that rg3 kid, only bigger

Mark said...

Jim Harbaugh should ask for a raise. Right now.

Mark said...

He's a better passer IMO, Rob.

rob said...

183 rushing yards. by a quarterback. decent.

Marls said...

2-0. by a TV character. decent.

rob said...

your words baffle me.

rob said...

never mind. i now admit the fierceness of the ravens helmet logo.