Monday, January 07, 2013

Brent Musberger has the Under


That's my best guess, at least. What am I talking about? Tonight's BCS Championship Game of course. What was shaping up as an epic battle between the College Football teams that Rob and TJ root for (even though neither of them attended these schools...you guys might want to read this) that would be highlighted (Kind of. Maybe?) by a post where these two matched wits and predictions for said game never materialized, sadly.

TJ is over in Italy to finally visit Chef Boyardee's grave (h/t Marls) and is unable to participate. So we thought we'd take advantage of the expansion of the G:TB staff and bring in another Notre Dame supporter (who also didn't attend the school), our very own Danimal who was kind enough to take time away from drinking in a cabana in Miami to answer some questions about tonight's BCS Championship Game. Without further ado...

Since this game is being held in the "home" stadium of one of the most annoying and obnoxious fan bases in College Football (Miami), who has the more annoyingly obnoxious fan base, Alabama or Notre Dame?

Rob: I don’t think this one’s really all that close. Alabama’s fans are far, far more obnoxious than Notre Dame’s. Between the floppy Southern frat boy haircuts of the more well-educated ones and the casual inbreeding, racism, and just general stupidity at the lower end of the socio-economic spectrum, there’s not that much to like about Alabama fans. Unless you’re into really, really gorgeous women in houndstooth. I’ve never really considered Domers obnoxious, unless you count Mike Golic, and he’s mostly doing schtick. Unrealistically entitled, maybe, but not obnoxious.



Danimal: I can’t answer this with firsthand knowledge yet, to be truthful. But I don’t think there will be any question it’s Bama. They just look like a bunch of dicks. As an ND fan, I will say that I did think it was in poor taste and a little classless to break out the “Domers vs Homers” & “Catholics vs Cousins” shirts. There’s no need to give the opponents more motivation to kick your ass. And it just wasn’t nice. Come on now, can’t we just have fun and get along?

(The correct answer here is still 'Miami fans'. Do you really think they care their team isn't playing in this game? Not one bit. Still plenty of douchebags throwing "The U" symbols.)

What matchup (individual or personnel groups) is most crucial to victory for Notre Dame or Alabama?

Rob: This is hardly an original thought, but Alabama’s offensive line versus the Irish front seven is massively important. It’s probably safe to say that neither unit has faced another as good as the one it’ll line up against tonight – the Tide’s arguably played better defensive fronts in the SEC than Notre Dame played on average, but that’s a small edge, if any. I’m no connoisseur of the grunt game, so I’ll save the deep analysis for someone who knows what they’re talking about, but if Alabama can wear Notre Dame down like they’ve done to so many other defenses this season, they’ll walk away with another title.

Danimal: D-Line vs Bama’s backs - TJ Yeldon & Eddie Lacy. Those guys are f’ing beasts. Men amongst boys. They scare the shit out of me. They shouldn’t be allowed to play tonight. It’s not fair.

(It's definitely up front, and that matchup up front bleeds into Bama's ability to run the ball. Well done, chaps)

In your estimation, which player must play an above average game in order for his team to win?

Rob: From the Notre Dame perspective, it’s hard to see a path to victory if Everett Golson isn’t excellent. Alabama’s only loss came against an athletic quarterback who made a shitload of mind-boggling plays. If Everett Football comes to play, he gives the Irish a dimension that’s proven to trouble the stout Tide defense.

Alabama’s two-headed tailback committee of T.J. Yeldon and Eddie Lacy are beastly. Both rolled for over 1000 yards this season, totaling 27 touchdowns in 13 games. We’ll know things are going Nick Saban’s way if they get off early. Under Saban, Alabama is 49-0 when they rush for more than 150 yards, 11-7 when they don’t. The Tide’s offense is predicated on establishing the run and using play-action to give A.J. McCarron time and space. I don’t think there’s a more important stat to keep an eye on.


Danimal: ND has to score touchdowns when they get in the red zone. This is where they consistently stalled this season. For this to happen, Golson Golson Golson, with the right plays called of course. Also – Kyle Brindza, Kicker, should ND stall inside the 20. My boy Kyle, or “Breezy” as I like to call him, needs to be perfect this evening.

(For Bama, it's Barrett Jones. He's the leader of their O-Line and their most versatile Olineman, Chance Warmack is the best. For Notre Dame it's Louis Nix. He has to command double teams to open lanes for ND's linebackers. And what do you know? They'll be going head up against one another for much of the night. You should really try and watch these two tonight)

What phase of the game do you see the opposing team's biggest weakness? How do you think that your rooting interest will attack this weakness?

Rob: I don’t think all that much of Notre Dame’s talent at the offensive skill positions. I think the Irish wideouts will have a hard time finding space against Alabama’s corners, a unit Saban coaches himself, and as a result, Golson will have to make a ton of plays after the pocket breaks down. The one obvious exception here is tight end Tyler Eifert, who I expect to be a big part of the Irish game plan, as always. I’m hoping the Tide attacks him with a variety of dirty hits and ethnic slurs. What the fuck is an Eifert, anyway?

Danimal: Does Bama really have a weakness? I guess they do – A&M beat them but they got that Johnny Touchdown fella. Is that his name? ND’s gotta spread the wealth tonight among the receivers. They get one of their weapons back, Devaris Daniels, who has been out with an injury since I don’t remember when, but a while, and he’s fucking good. Between he, Theo Riddick who is primarily a back but can line up as a WR, and the #1 TE in the draft Tyler Eifert, ND might cause some problems. It will be up to Golson to manage and execute. Get’r Done Golson!

(Bama does have a weakness, Danimal. It's their lack of pass rush. They haven't been able to do it consistently this year. Golson could make this even more challenging with his ability to improvise)

Each of these teams will have plenty of fans in South Florida for the game. Which fan base is going to look more out of place in South Beach?

Rob: This is really a push. Alabama rednecks will certainly stand out amongst the beautiful people, but the beefy, pasty Chicago contingent is gonna look awful with sunburn blisters. Notre Dame rooters will likely have better manners – I don’t expect one of them to teabag a Tide fan in the unlikely event they win.

That wasn’t one of our finest moments.

Danimal: With ND, you’ve got their alum and you’ve got the non-alum. They differ greatly. With Bama, they all look the same, and that is out of place.


(The correct answer is both. Because both fanbases have tons of great, big fat people. Duh.)

And, of course, who wins tonight and what's the score?

Rob: I’m a little nervous about how little nerves I have about this game. Maybe the two titles the Tide’s won in the last three seasons have made me complacent. Maybe I’ve overbought the SEC hype. Maybe I’m just a lousy prognosticator (though my history with Alabama games has been pretty good, right Mark?). But I don’t think the Tide has much trouble tonight. Manti Te’o will get a lot of run from the television guys, and it’s richly deserved. Notre Dame will be amped up as the game starts – might even have the lead after the first quarter. But Alabama’s offensive line is the best in the game, and they’ll take a toll. Alabama wins going away, 27-13.


Danimal: After a perfectly executed game by ND, on the plus side in the turnover battle with no TO’s, and 3-3 in field goals, ND wins 16-13.

Thanks for your efforts guys. Good luck (I don't really mean this) tonight!

65 comments:

Danimal said...

Fuck off rob.
On way to game. Beer in hand....down nicely at the tables thus far but made a nice turn around w yesterday's baw games. We'll get that shit back. Go Irish. And fuck the tide. Bunch of quirrs.

Shlara said...

both fan bases are exceedingly obnoxious. if it were only possible for both of these teams to lose tonight...

Danimal said...

Oh shlara. Sad face.

rob said...

way to mail that shit in, danimal. even the teej would've made more of an effort.

you pipe down, shlara.

rob said...

also, that wasn't exactly the pictorial representation of alabama's female fans i was looking for. some things can't be unseen, mark.

rob said...

first reports on rg3 kneegate suggest he's out 14-18 months. months!

tons of journos rushing to refute that story, of course, but dear god if that's even close to true, i think snyder probably has to kill shanahan with a hammer. twice.

Jerry said...

Notre Dame's fans are far more obnoxious. Two categories: 1) The alums, who take haughtiness to levels that nobody else can even dream of, 2) People who are from like Long Island or Texas or something who are just annoying because they're Notre Dame fans.

Alabama's fans are obnoxious in a much more conventional college football way, which I find to be a lot more tolerable.

Jerry said...

And Roll Tide.

Greg said...

Having spent a good deal of time in the Yellowhammer State, I can say that Alabamans are a simple folk. While this is an overwrought cliche, college football just means a lot more to them than most of the rest of the country. When the Tide is rolling, they're just really really happy. As Jaromir pointed out, this is much closer to "conventional fan obnoxiousness" and much easier to tolerate.

Roll Tribe.

Mark said...

You asked for a picture, Rob. I gave you a picture.

I'm actualy of the opinion that Notre Dame fans are more obnoxious/annoying than Bama fans. So many ND fans are self entitled and delusional about their school's (if they actually attended ND...not likely) place in the modern CFB hierarchy. Bama fans are plenty obnoxious but it's a different type of obnoxiousness. A type of angry redneck obnoxiousness that I'm far more used to dealing with since I grew up in the south. Either way, I hate them both. I'm with Shlara, can we get a scene similar to what happened in the 'Dark Knight Rises' tonight?

Mark said...

Also, my sleeper/breakout stars of the game (if he has a huge game then his team wins):

Bama: Amari Cooper. Stud WR (played with Teddy Bridgewater in HS) who somehow got out of the state of Florida. I blame Randy Shannon.

Notre Dame: Shit...not sure here. I'd take Theo Riddick but he's pretty well known by most CFB fans. Fuck it. Riddick.

Clarence said...

Rob, who's your RGIII intel source? That is a horrible scenario if it's true. And we will hear about it from now until September.

Mark said...

This year's large bow games have, for the most part, sucked. Really hoping tonight gives a good/great one. I have my doubts though.

T.J. said...

Hello, non-Irish believers.

Danimal, hope you laid some cash on Tony Rice and the boys.

Mark said...

Sadly it seems Vince Vaughn is the type of ND fan many of us loathe. Just saw a pic of him on the sidelines completely decked out in ND gear, including a particularly hideous green and gold shirt. Why is he an ND fan? Because he's from Chicago. /pukes

T.J. said...

Anyone got an illegal internet feed for me to try to watch this game?

T.J. said...

Mark, nice link to an article about the "rules of college football fandom".

Didn't know you were a Grantland lemming. Sad to find out.

T.J. said...

I don't get the game. But man oh man is Italian QVC an entertaining shitshow.

zman said...

How is it possible to address this game without mentioning the fact that God and his Passion for the Christ are with ND? The Irish will lay low these Bama sodomites.

T.J. said...

How does God feel about Brian Kelly's implicit role in a kid dying videotaping his middling team a couple years ago?

Mark said...

Or the administration of Notre Dame sweeping multiple alleged rapes committed by members if their football team under the rug? That's a good question.

And Grantland has some really good articles and writers. There is a lot of crap on there for sure but it has its bright spots. If you're not reading Zach Lowe's NBA columns then you're blowing it.

TR said...

I bet the Mother of All Camel Toes is lurking behind that purse.

Mark said...

FWIW, I'd take ND and the points but I've been terrible betting on the bowl games so I think I'll sit tonight out...maybe.

Mark said...

Notre Dame money line is now +260. If you're a believer now would be the time to show it.

Mark said...

Miami Gardens might be the most misleading city name ever. It's not even remotely close to Miami. Like an hour north without traffic (good luck) and 50+ miles inland. Middle of nowhere.

Mark said...

Sounds like an awesome atmosphere for tonight's game. Not that surprising the way these two fan bases travel. Notre Dame outnumbering Bama fans pretty significantly, reportedly.

Mark said...

Couldn't resist. Took ND (+6) in the first half with the under 20. Also took ND (+10) for the game. So, obviously, Bama wins big tonight.

Mark said...

Irish are waaaay to jacked up for this game right now.

Mark said...

And that was way to easy.

Mark said...

Just me tonight, huh? /goes to Twitter.

Marls said...

I'm here, huckleberry

Marls said...

And be "here" I mean still at work.

Clarence said...

That officiating call on the punt looked pretty shitty, but wheeling Stuttering John in to give an official explanation made it seem like an even worse call.

God put some money down on the Tide.

Marls said...

Seeing the Irish get blown out would make this Irish catholic boy very happy.

TR said...

Game is shaping up like Bama-Michigan from Labor Day. Tide will win by 30. Fun to watch ND get woodshedded.

Mark said...

Bama's Oline is dominating. And ND looks like they're scared to tackle Eddie Lacy one on one. Getting ugly fast.

TR said...

Pretty sure Brent just jizzed in his double pleated suit pants.

Clarence said...

Danimal, I recommend you drink heavily.

Mark said...

I'm sure he is and will redouble his efforts.

Mark said...

Not that it really matters, but Notre Dame's offensive gameplan tonight is horrendous. Way too many fades and deep 50/50 jump balls. Again, not that it matters.

rob said...

posing as a responsible adult sucks. still stuck in this board meeting. game looks neat, though.

zman said...

Could be worse, like sitting on a train in penn station waiting on a 69 minute train ride home.

Mark said...

Serious question: Has there ever been more missed tackles in a National Title game? Maybe Florida-Nebraska in 1995 Fiesta Bowl?

Mark said...

Also: Notre Dame's secondary is terrible. Charles Barkley style terrible.

Mark said...

Ha Ha Climton-Dix! Orlando!

Mark said...

Clinton, not Climton.

Danimal said...

Hi. Nd inferior. No doubt. The non fumble call in the 1st tho....big swing....14 points

Mark said...

That drive started with an interception by a safety from Orlando. And ended with a TD catch by a WR from Miami. Sophomore and Freshman, respectively. That's how good Saban is. He evens goes into Florida and get some of the top talent. Damnit.

Mark said...

Big call, no doubt. Not 14 points. No guarantee ND scores if they recover.

Mark said...

That said... Sorry. I've been there. No fun.

Clarence said...

Bad night for the companies who paid for a 4th quarter ad.

zman said...

Just got home and tuned in. At least the ND fans can take solace in the fact that their players have to take 2 semesters of math while Bama's players can't count to 2.

Marls said...

Where do the Bama fans go to celebrate? I doubt the clubs in South Beach are an option for most.

Mark said...

It would take them two hours to get to South Beach in that traffic. The parking lot, I'm guessing.

zman said...

The Mike Tyson dewey!

zman said...

Are they running up the score to increase their ranking?

Mark said...

No mercy in Saban's dojo.

zman said...

How many games would ND win with an SEC schedule?

Marls said...

I guess the could rock out at the Hard Rock in Hollywood with the rest of the WT.

rob said...

got to see the third quarter in a local public house. has alabama's offensive line beat the shit out of the irish like that all night? that's vicious.

Marls said...

They are so bored of beating the shit out of ND that they are going to beat up their own QB.

Jerry said...

S-E-C. They're just better.

Only suspense for tonight is if Brent can stay awake long enough to seal the deal with a Miami madame.

Danimal said...

What really helped with the sting of the loss was coming back to the hotel/casino and losing a nice amount of money. I am the mayor of Losertown.

T.J. said...

Soooo, didn't miss much with that game last night, eh?

T.J. said...

Reading up on game now. The term "traveshamockery" comes to mind.