Six Facts O'Ghoogling...
Five Lasting Images
Four Things to Think About
Three catastrophe staches
The Finest Holiday Duet in History
And One Hell of a bloggy Par-ty
The Ghoogles is one of my favorite recurring bits on this site that actually recur, so despite my procrastination in recent days I knew we needed to get a Gheorghemas Ghoogles Day up, and soon. So below, rather than just list all of the searches for a recent time period that led the nomads of the internet to G:TB, I thought I would attempt to break down our place in the SEO Universe a bit more, with the usual ghoogles ghoodness thrown in (and yes, the "h" is getting added to all g-words in this post). Stats, numbers and screengrabs all come from Google Analytics and the work of our unpaid intern, PIMPBOT 5000.
1. The Power of G:TB (is a curious thing - make a one man weak, make another man sing)
I'm pretty proud of this one. If you ghoogle that ghod awful song "Christmas Eve in Washington", G:TB is the 4th item listed. On all the interwebs, we are 4th. I also enjoy that the title of the post is "Death to 'It's Christmas Eve in Washington", and anyone looking for that schmaltzy crap for real will likely see that post title. The song sucks, people, y u no listen to me?
2. The G:TB Experts List, sponsored by Holiday Inn Express
Over the years, whether by accident or on purpose, internet searchers have found our little corner of the blogosphere (perhaps) helpful on these myriad topics:
- nasal polyps
- peeps diorama
- Eddie Money
- circus peanuts
- Matthew Clemmens
- Droopy Dog
- van der waals forces
- thoughts on mustaches
- Jack Urbont
- 1980s baseball cards
- worst rock songs ever
- "andre agassi" meathead
- caa hoops
I don't want anyone to get a big head (well, too late for Clarence), but just for the hell of it, I ran the numbers on our most popular posts. Unfortunately, it only tracks back to 2008, but here is that list. Almost all of the editorial staff is represented in this list, with zman I believe appearing the most in this list below. Also, how disappointed were people when they ghoogled "Hurrricane Igor" and simply ended up here.
4. Where the White Women At?
I don't want anyone to ever claim we are sexist, because based on the Ghoogles we talk about quite a few ladies, and often enough that we are driving traffic to our site, somehow, with their mentions. Some of these dames include:
- Zooey Deschanel (in particular, her legs)
- Brigitte Bardot (for the blue hairs)
- Janet Jones Gretzky (hot...and addicted to gambling)
- Gaetane Thinney
- Rachel Glandorf
- Bea Hamel
- Greg McElroy's sister
- Zoltan Mesko's girlfriend
- Judy Tenuta
- And last, but not least, Dennis' college girlfriend (name redacted, for the sake of the lass)
Internet ghoogler, if you ended up at G:TB for any of the searches below, we are very sorry we were unable to serve you. Also, seek help, immediately:
- Mike Magnante's pension
- lady spartan soccer waxes
- can white men jump ethnicity genes culture and success
- was kevin youkilis in summer catch
- how to draw quagmire
- cyclist boner
- mumford and sons tattoo
- 1979 camaro (cue Wheelhouse Jerry accent)
- russ francis gay
I'm pretty sure there would be no Ghoogles recurring bit if it weren't for my reaction the first time I looked at searched for G:TB...and the aforementioned Mr. Ribeiro was mentioned, repeatedly, preferably without a top on. The funny thing is, I don't think there is a single picture of Carlton without a shirt on the blog***. Keep up the good work, Ghoogle algorithm. And thank you, Alfonso, for the gift of ghoogles.
***I stand corrected. This picture...it's...well, just check it out: