Tuesday, September 04, 2012

Fan Free Agency: The Road to Leesburg

At this point in One Man's Free Agent Journey, it's really just an honor to still be considered. Each of the ten remaining cities are justifiably proud of their teams and their efforts thus far. But as the Kurgan well knew, there can be only one.

Onward, then, as we eliminate six more teams today in preparation for tomorrow's celebration:

Seattle Seahawks

The Hawks have a lot to recommend for their cause. Terrific home field advantage, a town I'd like to visit, unique (if a bit ugly) uniforms, Russell Wilson. But the geographical gap seems tough to bridge. I'm a notorious East Coast elitist - rooting for a West Coast team sounds difficult. And I'm not looking for difficult.

San Diego Chargers

The major negative listed above for the Seahawks is relevant to San Diego, as well, but the positives may be even stronger. The Chargers' baby blues are among the best jerseys in world sport. Philip Rivers seems like my kind of asshole. I'd welcome the opportunity to hearken back to Air Coryell when I invent my backstory as a Charger fan (and thanks to Mr. Truck for that idea - or was it Dave?). But the Chargers are coached by Norv Turner. I've seen that movie, and the ending generally features an inexplicable loss and a nasally press conference.  

Green Bay Packers

History, passion, compelling stars, a great ownership situation, the same colors as my high school and college, a hard-nosed coach with a solid track record - what's not to like about the Packers? The winter, man. No way I'm ever going to watch a game in Green Bay in the winter.

Minnesota Vikings

I gave this one a lot of thought. My new job has me spending a lot of time in Minneapolis, and it's a really fantastic town - great, diverse food scene, a vibrant and eclectic arts and music community (with one of the great public radio music stations I've come across in 89.3, The Current), and friendly people. Odds are good that I'll have multiple opportunities to view Vikes games in our corporate suite - and games are indoors, so the winter cold is less of an issue than it might be for Green Bay. In the end, though, I work with so many Viking fans that it would seem like I was sucking up to them if I suddenly began wearing purple.

San Francisco 49ers

Even more than Seattle and San Diego, I nearly overcame the geographical barrier with Jim Harbaugh's Niners, and the coach was the big reason. I'm a Harbacker - would love to have that guy as my team's head man. I've also always admired Frank Gore's game, and while Alex Smith would drive me nuts, I like the way he's hung in as a pro when he had lots of reasons (and lots of encouragement) to pack it in and feel sorry for himself. In the end, too much Pacific time zone.

Detroit Lions

Detroit cut William and Mary's Alex Gottlieb this week, or they probably would've advance to tomorrow's final round. They're a team on the rise, but they haven't done squat in the modern era, so I wouldn't feel like I was joining a party already in progress. Barry Sanders is one of my all-time favorite players, and Megatron might be my current favorite. Geography is destiny here, though, as I really have no interest in ever going back to Detroit. It's one of the worst places I've ever been.

If you're doing the math (or, more likely, just crossing off teams), you know that New England, Indianapolis, Houston, and New Orleans are cutting down the goalposts (just go with it) after advancing to the Final Four. If anyone can find the Vegas odds for each of the finalists, we can have a little fun with wagering. I don't even know which team it'll be myself, but I'm pretty excited to find out.

43 comments:

G:TB said...

shoulda picked the 'Hawks

rob said...

remember that when you decide to give up on the sanchize

Danimal said...

to win the super bowl:

N.O. + 2000
NE + 500
IND + 10,000
Hou + 1000

G:TB said...

It's ridiculous you would even consider the Patriots. It's the Colts or Texans, for sure.

rob said...

spurned jet fan's concerns are noted

Clarence said...

No way the Colts. Visiting Baltimore and drinking in the Dead End Saloon, Looney's Pub, the Gin Mill, or the Horse You Rode In On is fun; getting beaten up there is not.

Clarence said...

Also, picking a team for its coach or any of its current players is a sure-fire way to ensure we play this game again in a year or two.

rob said...

clarence, i'd like to think i'm smart enough to not wear colts gear when drinking in one of those places.

mayhugh said...

I think the most defensible choice is Indy. The other three are either too trendy or too entrenched in recent success. New fans should always buy low, not high.

With Indy, you get a young quarterback and a chance to be in on the ground floor of a rebuilding team. By most accounts, their stadium is top-notch and their GM is a total wild card. You also have the dinner conversation in your hip pocket when you mention you root for the Red Sox and the Colts; Everyone will either think you are insane or avant-gardeFun times all around.

mayhugh said...

I also love the captain's picks for the Ryder, aside from Snedeker. That guy is uber-shaky in big moments.

rob said...

compelling arguments, mayhugh. this is harder than i expected.

zman said...

Gillette in the winter is brutal. Just sayin. But at least the Pats unify your geographic rooting interests.

Clarence said...

If you're even thinking about going to visit the city and go to a game, I would have to believe you'll avoid Houston.

If you choose a certain other one of the Final Four, I will happily join you for a game just about any time.

TR said...

Sanchize is not the problem with the Jets. A weak O-line, a lack of skill players, poor drafting and sub-par coaching are to blame, not Sanchize.

TR said...

Also, the Jets have quietly assembled a tremendous young D-line. Wilkerson is a stud, Ellis has bounced back from a stint in the slammer quite well and rookie Quinton Coples looks fantastic. They will lock down teams enough to get at least 7 wins. 7 painful, low-scoring wins.

Danimal said...

rex ryan is one of the best coaches in the nfl. he's got no worries from a job security standpoint for 10+ years. at least that is what i heard him say on the radio today. so you have that going for ya.

Danimal said...

am also pleased w/the ryder cuppers...snedeker can roll it. i'll give dlIII, freddy, tigger, lefty, et al the benefit of the doubt on the decision. but yeah, of the 4 he's the only one remotely close to a head-scratcher with mahan as his sub. america. fuck. and yeah.

Clarence said...

Michael Clarke Duncan and the Reverend Sun Myung Moon both passed away this weekend. Coincidence?

mayhugh said...

Over the last few years, the Jets product on the field has starkly resembled the Redskins. I would not be surprised if the Jets averaged 15 points or less a game this year.

TR said...

Let's remember the Jets have been at/over .500 for the last four years and made 2 AFC championship games recently. Struggling franchise - maybe. On par with Danny's Starfuckers - no way.

mayhugh said...

Fair enough, I should have said "the offensive product..."

rob said...

tr seems awfully defensive about this. it's gonna be okay, man.

Danimal said...

so where is the draft party tonight?

zman said...

It's the PSL talking.

zman said...

Tighten up your sneaker game before fall gets here.

http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2012/09/coming-attractions-nike-air-max-1-fall-2012

Mark said...

So you've never been to Seattle either? Jesus. Get out more.

Mark said...

Nice Roots reference by Z in the last post's comments. The Roots are prominent hip-hop group, TR.

rob said...

i'm going to london in november, mark. kinda excited. also, planning to visit washington, dc tomorrow. superneat.

Mark said...

The weather in London should be spectacular in November. In all seriousness though, I can't recommend Chicago or Seattle enough. Both very cool cities for summer visits.

zman said...

Chicago gets it done. And you say chi city.

Jerry said...

Breaking the trend here...I'd say that I strongly dislike upwards of 95% of people who would write something like this:

"great, diverse food scene, a vibrant and eclectic arts and music community (with one of the great public radio music stations I've come across in 89.3, The Current)"

I mean it's just jam-packed with signals that I'd dislike the person. Almost perfectly optimized for dislike.

Jerry said...

But I like you rob.

G:TB said...

rob, go buy a hoodie...and go to Seattle

rob said...

i'm the exception that proves the rule, or something

zman said...

You don't like good food?

rob said...

i now own two hoodies. neither from seattle.

zman said...

This could easily be Roddick's last stand so go watch on the deuce.

Mark said...

Rob now owns two hoodies. And i now own three of those preppy sweaters that only zip halfway down and have a collar. Worlds colliding!

Mark said...

And I just noticed Z's Common line. Well done.

zman said...

I still don't understand how a guy from NH never owned a hoodie.

zman said...

Those Obama-Castro signs will reappear later as proof that Obama is a communist.

rob said...

who is from nh?

Danimal said...

In the imaginary league....do we play for pride or is something else attached? Just curious. I had fun at the draft party. Xoxo.