Sunday, May 01, 2011

Big Fat Bills Filler

As I noted in the comments the other day, Buffalo drafted a 398 pound guy named Leslie Michael Jasper in the 7th round of the draft. I learned the following disturbing information on Japser from these articles:

* Jasper played at 430 pounds last year for D-III Bethel University.
* Jasper weighed 448 pounds in January.
* Jasper weighed 378 pounds a week ago, so he lost 70 pounds in four months.
* It's not clear which side of the ball he'll play on.

Various other media outlets listed Jasper at 398, not 378, but I guess a 20 pound variance isn't a big deal on a 400 pound man -- it's only a 5% differential. Alternatively, Jasper can eat 20 pounds of food in one sitting so he could form a formidable competitive eating tandem with last year's second round pick Torell Troup.

I also learned that Jasper has a website with videos of him trying to blow his knees out:



He also has action photos that make him look impossibly large:



But if you look at other photos it appears that he looks so big because his running back is a midget, or because he's playing against D-III athletes, or both:


I am, however, completely sold on Jasper based solely on the following photo:


Who doesn't love a fat happy guy in a purple and gold sixty-nine jersey? Accordingly, if you're looking for a 7th round pick to follow and hope that he'll make an NFL roster, direct your positive vibes towards Michael Jasper, the big fat Bill in the fratty jersey.

7 comments:

T.J. said...

Awesome.

T.J. said...

Osama be dead? News at 11.

Igor said...

It won't bring our guys back, but it'd be nice to think that the wheel came around on that motherfucker.

zman said...

Trump is taking credit.

Dave said...

but can he do backflips?

TR said...

The speculation is that Al Qaeda may do one more hasty attack now that it has lost its iconic leader. At least my commute doesn't take me through Penn Station, Times Square AND Grand Central Station. Oh wait...

Danimal said...

America. Fuck. And Yeah.