Monday, October 23, 2006

"IF I did kill her, it was because I loved her too much..."

That bastion of journalistic integrity, the National Enquirer, is reporting my good friend Orenthal James Simpson is planning to pen a "hypothetical" book about the grisly murders of his ex-wife Nicole and her helpful waiter friend Ron, in which the Juice "speculates" on what might've happened the night he caught Nicole and Ron smooching, and got so upset he fucking beheaded them. The tentative book title: "If I Did It". I honestly don't even have a joke here.

7 comments:

T.J. said...

Personally, I'd like to kill the Jacksonville Jaguars for their no-show against the Texans this week. Bunch of a-holes.

Mark said...

That makes two of us. I started the Jags' D yesterday in place of Denver (What the fuck was I thinking?). The differenc eb/w these two units pretty much accounted for my opponents'margin of victory in my fantasy football defeat this weekend.

T.J. said...

Speaking of Denver, can they continue to win 17-7 and 13-3 games all year long? Sooner or later, they might have to score a few points, and that's when the "Jake Plummer Show" becomes damn enjoyable...

T.J. said...

My work in Tallahassee proved successful...Get the hell out old man:

Palm Beach attorney Peter Mettler, who is a former board member of Seminole Boosters, told the newspaper he was one of many boosters who have written to Florida State, calling for Bowden to retire.

"I am convinced and frankly have been for the last two seasons that coach Bowden should retire or be forced to retire," Mettler wrote to Florida State president T.K. Wetherell, the newspaper reported. "Someone has to stand up and make this difficult decision. As our president I urge you to be the leader I know you are, and do what has to be done."

T.J. said...

Yep, definitely the City of Brotherly Love:

PHILADELPHIA -- A father pulled a gun on a youth football coach because his son wasn't getting enough playing time, police said.

Wayne Derkotch, 40, was arguing with the coach Sunday during a game of 6- and 7-year-olds when he drew the weapon, police said. No shots were fired.

T.J. said...

UConn will apparently be starting 7'3" freshman Hasheem Thabeet this year. They grow 'em big in Tanzania.

T.J. said...

Good to see Drew keeping himself busy:

http://www.tonyhomo.com/