Just to squash any fears next time you're devouring a Big Montana, a public service announcement.
On to a Friday list of nonsense, as you've come to expect here at GTB...
* I mean, if you were to pick one baseball player who would have no qualms joining Vince and Owen at some nuptials, I guess it would have to be Man-Ram...
According to the BOSTON HERALD, back in 2001, when Never-A-Dull-Moment Manny was new in town, he was holed up in a $1,000-a-night suite at the ritzy Ritz-Carlton. Well, being as how he was a bachelor back then, not to mention his alleged linguistic limitations, Manny was rather lonely. So No. 24 would take the elevator down to the ballroom and scope out the weddings. And if the reception rocked, he'd meander in and make himself right at home! "He quietly ambled in, uninvited of course,'' one wedding guest recalled of a Ritz-Carlton bridal blowout some four years ago. "But he made plenty of friends once he was recognized.'' Particularly, we're told, amongst the ranks of the bridesmaids! When Manny was asked why he chose to pop in on the festivities, he replied, "I was bored.''
* Brace yourself loyal readers - Tim Green is not returning as a Fox Sports NFL analyst. Now why would that be? Oh right, Green is concentrating on his role as host of the new "A Current Affair". Say what? That's like me not coming to work anymore because I've enrolled at the Culinary Institute of America.
* I love Jeffrey Ross. That man is the Babe Ruth of celebrity roasts...
Jeffrey Ross is gearing up to roast Pamela Anderson on Comedy Central next month. "I was gonna write a poem, but I couldn't find a rhyme for 'stupid bimbo,' " Ross said at the New York premiere of "The Aristocrats." After pointing out that the Anderson event is a fund-raiser for PETA, Ross cracked: "She's very into animal rights. She doesn't like it when they take these innocent chicks and inject them with hormones and make 'em wear red bathing suits and kiss David Hasselhoff."
* So, are you saying the annoying alien from American Dad can't hold his liquor? (and Dennis, that show is not funny. I'm sorry. And this is coming from a guy who likes Futurama)
Andy Dick lived up to his party monster reputation early yesterday morning at the grand opening of Home nightclub on West 27th Street. We're told the booze-loving bisexual "made out with an equally intoxicated male partygoer" and "grabbed, licked and groped everyone in sight - especially the male models." Another tipster tattles that Dick "literally had his hands down another man's pants - first over the pants, then in the pants."
I even have some sports rantings in this tiny head of mine, and depending on how this noon deadline goes, you might get to read my analysis of the atrocious Yankee rotation or baseball's wild card races or a review of last night's competitive eating "contest". (if you choose to ever return to this site)
Friday, July 29, 2005
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14 comments:
getting some strong feedback on this extra witty post.
As expected...
I'm speechless. I did go look up that script from Seinfeld and had a laugh. So it wasn't totally uninspiring.
I mean, what can I say, it's hard to compete with a voice recorder and a mystery stenographer. The Nielsen ratings are shit. My writers have walked out. The station's pulling my advertising...
Time for Whitney to get very bitter:
Q: When does the book come out and what's it called?
The Sports Guy: It's called "Now I Can Die In Peace" and it comes out on October 1st - it's about my life as a Red Sox fan, centering on my columns from the past 7 years. There's also some new stuff in there and extended footnotes for each chapter. It's really different, I hope people like it - it's not a typical Sox book. I was going to put that I'm a two-time Whatifsports.com champion on the "notes about the author" section on the back of the book, but my editor talked me out of it.
He might be able to die in peace, but he won't be able to die without titling his book off a slogan stolen from the Rangers.
http://widewordofsports.com/Letters
/now_i_can_die_in_peace.htm
It may be best for Sports Guy's eventual reputation if he dies in peace very soon, rather than become the Mickey Rourke of sports journalists.
By the way, the famous person analogies are all well and good until you (a little too loudly) throw the Catherine Zeta-Jones description the way of a mildly attractive, dark-haired woman sitting 10 feet from you in the Capital Grille, only to glance at her lunch partner and notice he's Michael Douglas. This was me 20 minutes ago. On the up-side, the glance I got back was either annoyance or lust.
Hey, Sin City was fandiddlytastic. Mickey's making a comeback . . . and then just like Travolta, he'll go back to making uber-trash.
And American Dad is funny. It's the exact same show as Family Guy, just not quite as good, cuz there's no english-accented infant talking about doody and sexy parties.
And the dog has a cool name.
I'm assuming the glance you got back was from Michael Douglas.
Another cool named guy - at least the surname.
Whit...are you saying that Zeta-Jones is only mildly attractive or was her husband out with a less attractive version of his wife?
She was the third-most strikingly attractive of the three women we saw in five minutes. To be fair, the other two had dolled themselves up quite a bit and were trying to look flashy, while obviously she was trying to be low-key so as not to attract attention.
i see...that is what i tend to do...not doll myself up too much so that I don't garner too much attention. as you know, i like to fly low under the radar.
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