Heinz You Doin?

You Are Looking Live!!!!

Well, not really. This is an image I took from my car window just an hour ago at the local Smoothie King I patronize a few times a week. My frequent order is a Peanut Power Plus, chocolate flavor. Tasty, filling, fast. It's my jam. 

As I approached the order kiosk, I did so with wonder, curiosity and a little bit of anxiety. Would my Smoothie King be one of the select few promoting the Heinz Tomato Ketchup Smoothie, the same smoothie tens of people first read about right here on GTB just yesterday?! 

Indeed it is. And I did. 

After handing my Smoothie Queen payment, she informed me that I was the first at this location to order said smoothie. I asked if she had tried it - "no" was her answer. Not a great sign. But she added, "You can't really taste the ketchup, it's just a little bit tart." Okay, I can handle tart. 

Filled with pride and a smile to go with, I inserted straw and thought it through....let's just go with a tiny little sip. She wasn't yanking my chain. The ketchup is almost but not entirely indiscernible. Maybe a dollop of a dollop? The acai, apple juice, strawberries and raspberries (why isn't it rasBerries?) -yup, can taste them all. The ketchup, not so much. And that's a good thing. 

Will I order again? No. But I did finish without problem. It isn't terrible, it isn't bad. It's mid, as the kids these days say. Rating? Six Rotten Tomatoes out of 10.

Food is Dumb

We are nothing if not an easily distracted people. Witness...waves hands...everything. Now comes news from two different sources of wild foodstuffs designed - obviously - to take our minds off of the monstrous fuckery loosed upon the world.

First, the folks that used to be wisely guided by Dave Thomas' avuncular approach have gone off the rails. Wendy's recently released the Takis Fuego Chicken sandwich. For the initiated, Takis are a rolled tortilla snack designed to resemble mini taquitos. They come in a number of flavors, but Fuego is the most popular - who can resist a well-balanced hot chili pepper and lime flavor profile? Full disclosure, I think they're pretty tasty.

Lindsay Radkoski, Wendy's U.S. Chief Marketing Officer tells us, "At Wendy's, we know how to keep things spicy, and we love serving up fresh, famous collaborations that tap into consumers passion points, which made this partnership with Takis a no brainer. By joining forces with such an iconic and beloved snacking brand, we're turning up the heat and flavor in a way only Wendy's can!"

Heat and flavor, noted Wendy's attributes, natch. To be honest, I'd try it.

Which is not something I can say about our other featured food item.

Heinz (the ketchup people - that Heinz) and Smoothie King have teamed up to release the Heinz Tomato Ketchup Smoothie. I just threw up in my mouth. According to the linked article from delish, "The deep red drink blends açai sorbet, fresh apple juice, ripe strawberries, tart raspberries, and a not-so-subtle dash of Heinz ketchup."

Threw up again.

That sounds so disgusting that I wouldn't even ask Marls to try it, and Marls never backs down from a gustatory challenge.

We'll keep our eyes open for other delicious mashups/assaults on society, so please be sure to check back at regular intervals. Which is not something you'll have if you drink that Heinz monstrosity.

New Logo Alert!

It's lean times here at the content factory. Dog days of summer, general distraction disorder (it's a thing, don't look it up), writer's block (definitely a thing, you should look it up), all of it. I've got a couple of posts in progress that I think will finally push us over the top and put us in the mix for some of that sweet, sweet Athletic money, like Pablo Torre. But I gotta find time and inspiration, both of which are in short supply.

So here's a stopgap post that combines two of my interests: sports logos and Colorado.

The NWSL is expanding to Denver and Boston in 2026. The latter has been a bit of a shitshow in terms of branding. We're not here to talk about that. Instead, let's celebrate the branding work Denver Summit FC has done.

Let's start with the name. Solid, evocative of the region, despite the fact that Denver has no summits. They're looking to engage the entire Front Range. Fine.

The badge, though, that's a different story. A story, in fact, that the club tells well in this explainer. The club's done an excellent job connecting with its region and geography while tying itself to soccer tradition. The colors are unique in American footy, but familiar in Colorado. And above all, the badge just looks dope:

Leaving Virginia for Colorado tomorrow. Hoping to return with my first Summit merch. See you out there, design fans.

Gheorghasbord: More Good Stuff

We live in times that are often not...good. But we got to spend the weekend here enjoying a lot of good, courtesy of Donna, and that felt...good. So in that spirit, we're gonna let the good times roll. 

No big deal, y'all. We just sorta solved AIDS. In June, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved a drug called lenacapavir as a vaccine to be taken by people at risk of HIV twice-yearly. During clinical trials, the drug was 100% effective in protecting cisgender women. The effectiveness drops to 96% for men who have sex with other men, considerably higher than previously-tested treatments. This would seem to be pretty fucking important.

Not only did Ichiro Suzuki get inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame, he did it in style, with a funny and touching speech. 

To wit:

@yahoosports Ichiro Suzuki had jokes in his Hall of Fame speech 🤣 (via @MLB) #ichiro #ichirosuzuki #mlb #baseballhalloffame #miamimarlins ♬ original sound - Yahoo Sports

Here's the whole thing:

Trinity Rodman has battled a back injury for months. She last played for the Washington Spirit on April 12, coming off the field that day in pain. She spent the time between then and now rehabbing, often in places she went with her boyfriend, tennis star Ben Shelton. And yesterday, she finally got back on the field.

Rodman subbed into a 1-1 game against the Portland Thorns in the 76th minute. Early in stoppage time, she took a flick-on from Croix Bethune, and did this (check out Bethune's preaction):

It simply had to be Trinity Rodman 🥹 pic.twitter.com/gYkd1TgcvG

— National Women’s Soccer League (@NWSL) August 3, 2025

She ran to the side of the goal and buried her hands in her face, breaking down in happy tears. That's the good shit.

The Good Stuff: A Very Special G:TB Guest Post

Here's a debut guestie from Pastor Donna, and it's a great one.

Hi, y’all. I’m writing almost two weeks after a glorious week of 65° partly cloudy/partly sunny, gorgeous days on the East Coast of Scotland in St. Andrews, where I accompanied our oldest son, who graduated on July 1st. I recall OBX Dave suggested perhaps a post of the visit’s highlights, so thought I’d give it a “go” – first, to say, any of you who have not been to Scotland, you really must go. I joke that while some folks say they have a spirit animal, I have a spirit country, and it is Scotland. This was my 5th visit, and they get better and better every time. Even as this was a short one.

The main events happened on Tuesday with the graduation at 2:00 PM local time. It was one of two, as the university holds 2 graduations a day, for 5 days in a row. Massive tradition and pageantry with every single one.

The university was established in 1413, so 600 years of excellence (as they see it) to uphold in all the ways that they can. There are robes and stoles and Latin and speeches and great celebrations, and every student graduating wears a “hood” that really is more like a cape. And the hoods for students with a bachelor degree include fur.

The day started with the worship Service of Thanksgiving at 9:30 AM, which is much like a baccalaureate service over here. About thirty minutes of giving thanks for the joy of these days and a message to send the kids forward (so to speak). And this is where I was asked to preach. St. Salvator’s Chapel was built 600 some years ago; I was quite humbled to preach with its glorious stained glass, wooden carved seats, marble and stone all around, and its raised pulpit. And as the picture shows, the visual of the chaplain, Don McUwan, my son, and me, was somewhat comical. He is every bit of 6’6”, maybe taller, and then you can see Josiah and me.

The title of my sermon, It’s About Love, was extremely well-received. Josiah and I were touched that so many of his friends and their families attended the service, too, and now, a number of them have posted on Insta a tagline “#itsaboutlove” – I feel heard. If you’re at all interested, here is a link to the livestream of the service.

One really wild thing that happened is that a friend since junior high has a daughter who was in the sameprogram as Josiah. They met at W&M and realized how we are connected – her Dad and I being friends since 6th grade. And that I officiated the wedding of her parents a rather long time ago; they were one of the first couples I married actually, before I was ordained. They hired a magistrate for the legal part, and I led the rest of the service. Turns out, Taylor and Josiah became really good friends over the last 4 years, and her family all came for graduation. So, as I looked out to preach, on the front row, there they were. Who would’ve thought!

So, graduation commenced at 2:00, and the actual moment of graduation is when the Principal (Vice-chancellor – equivalent to President of Univ. over here) taps the students’ heads with a cap and speaks some Latin. She must be sick of that phrase by the end of 5 days, probably even the first day! As she does, the “hood” is dropped upon the student who has knelt down. The chief “mace-holder” (don’t know their official title), but they sure look smart!, drops the hoods on everyone. 

The traditions that follow include:

1. All graduates walk around the quad several times while the deliriously happy family/friends are carrying-on with all manner of flowers, banners, balloons, drink, etc. And it’s a United Nations type crowd, as tons of students are from the U.S. and the rest of the world, kind of more than Scotland itself.

2. A huge garden party that is fabulously organized and filled with wonderful food and drink for all.

3. Massive picture-taking both “official” types and personal by everyone there with a phone.

4. Pub-crawling well into the next morning of all the grads with their friends.

St. Andrews is crazy crowded during all this time, both because of the University festivities but also because the Old Course Golf Club Resort is popping! I mean groups from 6 AM – 10 PM finishing. And that’s just that course. It’s super busy but all terrifically so. We got to stay right in the midst of town, so we were right there.

Regarding historic sites besides the University, we visited the Cathedral ruins, right next to the Pier & North Sea, and when we did, St. Rules Tower, finished in 1215, was open to climb. It had closed in 2020, and re-opened last year or so. Josiah hadn’t gotten to climb it while there. So, we did. It’s 168 narrow, spiral staircase steps to the top. And it provides panoramic views of the town. 

Seeing West Sands Beach, the crisp coldness of the North Sea, where Chariots of Fire was filmed, and Castle/Cathedral Ruins of centuries ago, drinking in pubs with my oldest – life doesn’t get much better than that. By the way, do y’all know what “splitting the G” is? You probably do. (I didn’t.) It’s when drinking Guinness, if you drink out of a glass with its name, and you leave your sip with the beer level in the middle of the “G”.

As to golf, we thought the closest we’d get was eating in the Tom Morris Bar & Grill and going up to its Roof Garden, where you can see different sides of the Old Course and the golf. But, I went for walks in the later evening (the sun doesn’t go there right now until after 10:00!) and ended at the 1st/18th hole of the Old Course.

That is such an iconic place, and seeing groups finish there is really something. At first I had my phone out to take pictures, but then I put my phone down.

I was taken-in by the interaction of a caddy with his player. And the player’s set-up for each shot. And how those few of us watching really responded to what would happen. Like when the second shot would come in, and it would land 8-10 feet or so from the hole. That was something. And in the groups, the other players would really cheer for the person who had made such a shot. It was first-class fun, and I found myself drawn to really paying attention. I didn’t want pictures, I wanted to enjoy the moments as much as a spectator can.

I can’t remember if I’ve told this story to G:TB, but when I was 16, I went golfing with 3 friends, except I wasn’t playing. I was along for the day. But on the 5th hole, I think it was, I was standing about 8 feet in front of the hole, but way to the right, like 30-40 feet away easily but facing my friends. My friend hit the ball, off the very end of the club, and it drove right at me, so fast, square into my stomach. The impact was so hard that I fell to the ground in pretty serious pain. My friends found it hilarious at first; then they realized they better check on me. I was all right after a solid 10 minutes or so. But that incident had left a sourness in me about golf forever with regard to ever playing it. I do watch some majors, especially near their end, for the drama. 

It was this trip to St. Andrews, though, sitting there at the first & final hole of this celebrated, historic Course that I experienced something different. It was cool. Special. So cheers to that! 

The entire trip was marvelous! We are way too proud as parents. Of all our kids. Not sure what it’ll be like since our youngest will leave this fall now, and all of them will be gone, but we’re excited for their adventures. And I’m definitely ready for our next one to Scotland.

Automatic

rob recently asked what we're digging this summer.  Over the past 48 hours I've been digging "Mercury" by Automatic ever since I heard them on WFMU.  Do you like punk rock girls?  Do you like punk rock girls who have a fetish for the Go-Gos, so much so that they named themselves after a Go-Gos song?  Do you like punk rock girls who purr over synthed-out basslines and Chemical Brothersesque beats?  The answers should be yes, yes, and yes--if you have a no in there anywhere you're doing it wrong.  If you're doing it right you'll dig "Mercury" too.

And of course they're on Stones Throw.

Depends What You Mean by 'Save'

The headline on the White House, ahem, “fact sheet” reads: “President Donald J. Trump Saves College Sports.” Whew. Glad that’s taken care of. Obviously, the man’s talents aren’t limited to immigration, trade policy and foreign affairs. 

President “I Alone Can Fix It” last week signed an executive order that aims to provide stability to a college athletic landscape roiled by legal challenges, greater freedom of movement and athlete compensation, increasing disparities in revenue streams for various schools and conferences, and a leadership vacuum at the top. The order includes lofty rhetoric about preserving opportunities for college athletes, protecting women’s and non-revenue or so-called “Olympic” sports, and the unique value of college athletics. 

It’s also characteristically lazy – short on details and implementation and enforcement – with a touch of threats and a Trump aggrandizement kicker at the end. It’s like many of his previous 175 EOs. He gives an order, praises its wisdom and himself, and dares anyone to challenge it. The EO also prohibits “pay-for-play” measures to athletes from schools, while still permitting athletes to make money from third-party endorsement deals. It directs the Secretary of Labor and the National Labor Relations Board to clarify the employment status of student-athletes, which under the current administration is less likely to classify them as employees or permit collective bargaining. It also instructs the Attorney General and the Federal Trade Commission to figure ways to re-establish governance back to the NCAA and conferences, and away from state legislatures and courts. 

You’re correct if you view this as part of an NCAA wish list, as the governing body has been cuffed around by various courts for years while clinging to outdated amateurism standards that are untenable, ethically and legally. Trump’s executive order cannot provide an antitrust exemption – another line on the NCAA wish list – nor can it make a law or override state laws. Only Congress can do that. What the order can do is move the needle and help generate momentum. 

The NCAA has lobbied for Federal intervention for some time, which brings us to something called the SCORE Act. That piece of proposed legislation would grant the NCAA and conferences antitrust exemption, prevent athletes from being classified as employees, override current Name, Image and Likeness (NIL) laws, and return most governing power to conferences and the NCAA. The bill passed through two Congressional committees last week – the furthest any college athletics bill has ever progressed – on strictly partisan lines; all Republican approval, zero Democrat votes. It could come up for a full vote when Congress reconvenes. It might pass the GOP-controlled House, where bills need only a simple majority. 

The Senate, however, has a 60-vote threshold for such legislation, which means that seven Democrats must cross over for passage, a dim proposition. In addition to Democrat opposition to the bill, attorneys general for the states of Ohio, Florida, New York, Tennessee and the District of Columbia sent a letter to committee chairs and multiple ranking members of Congress, which reads in part: “The SCORE Act … will not redress the persistent power imbalance between the NCAA and student-athletes. To the contrary, it risks enshrining in federal law the same lack of accountability — to antitrust laws, to the States, and to student-athletes themselves — that the Supreme Court and numerous lower federal courts have found to be indefensible. Simply put, the SCORE Act consolidates too much power in the hands of the NCAA. The NCAA is a cartel that has consistently abused its monopolistic control even in the absence of a legislative blank check to do so.” 

The Big Dumb Orange Guy fancies himself a sportsman, though for him the appeal is conquest and adulation rather than respectful competition. He’s an avid, if unscrupulous, golfer (do enjoy the Commander-in-Cheat caught on video at Turnberry this week in the video below) with courses around the world. He was part of start-up USFL ownership and was famously shut out when he tried to bluster his way into the NFL. He attends various sporting events, making himself part of the show. He has a talent for exploiting disorder, an ego that convinces him that he’s the smartest and most capable guy in the room, and a position that confers gargantuan status and influence, all of which play to the unsettled world of present day college athletics. He met with Nick Saban in May and had several conversations with a gent named Cody Campbell, a multi-billionaire and Texas Tech booster who has some ideas about how to settle the present chaos and benefit everyone. He talked up the idea of a commission to address issues, but that seems to be on hold while legislation is on the table. After the SCORE Act cleared the committees, he signed his order the next day. 

There’s reasonable skepticism that Trump’s order and his yammering about preserving and protecting college athletics are anything but power plays. It isn’t lost on people that he has picked fights with universities and withheld hundreds of millions of dollars in Federal funding over supposed failures to curb antisemitism and to scrub diversity initiatives. He’s a champion of higher education, provided institutions bend the knee and conform to his and his minions’ vision. No telling how this plays out. Executive orders are sometimes merely weighty recommendations. They can be challenged in court and changed by future administrations. Traditionalists and reformers in this debate agree on little, but both believe that there should be a framework that settles some of the chaos and uncertainty. Banking on durable, enforceable proposals from the Disruptor-in-Chief wouldn’t appear to be the way to bet.