Baseball Playoff Backstories

Quick hitter for you baseball fans out there. I used to be one of those, that is until the Mets eviscerated me. Like clockwork.  Yet again. 

First round of baseball is always fun. Especially for longtime fans of the game when it comes to certain matchups. Check it. 

4-seed Yankees vs 5-seed Red Sox 

This one does not need a lot of explanation. It needs way less than it gets, actually. Yanks/Sox, blah blah blah. These two teams are bitter foes to much fanfare in general, but nevermore than in the postseason. 1978 went one way, 2004 went another. They actually squared off in the early rounds of the 2018 and 2021 postseasons, but when those match-ups don’t feature Bucky or Papi or have the fireworks of the old days, it gets plenty of mass media attention for those 3-5 days and then gets quickly dispensed in the minds of those outside of the Northeast. 

Little known fact: the Yankees and Red Sox both made the playoffs in the same season for the first time in 1995 – the first-ever year with wild cards. What you don’t recall, unless you’re rob, is that the Sox got skunked by the Tribe in three, mainly because they trotted out Zane Smith, Erik Hanson, and Timmy Wake. (The Rocket was presumably still having another trip to the buffett at Wendy’s SuperBar.)

What you do recall is this: (sorry, Teej):

   

But all eyes are on this series now. 

3 Dodgers vs 6 Reds 

Did You Know??? Between 1972 and 1978, the Dodgers and Reds finished 1-2 in the AL West every single year. The Big Red Machine won the division 4 years, the Big Blue Wrecking Crew 3. It also happened in 1970, 1985, 1988, and 1990 – with those years being split 2-2 each. Sparky vs Tommy, Charlie Hustle, Steve Garvey, Joe Morgan, Ron Cey, George Foster, Dusty Baker, Johnny Bench, Reggie Smith, and many more… and that was just the hitters. What a terrific rivalry with some (red) legs to it… that faded from view as soon as the league restructured itself in 1994. LA stayed West, Cincy went Central, and that was that. 

They have never played each other in the playoffs. Get some. 

3 Guardians vs 6 Tigers 

In 2024, Cleveland beat Detroit in the ALDS, 3 games to 2. Before that, these two teams had never met in the postseason. Until the advent of the wild card in ‘95, they never could have. They also never finished 1-2 in division in the 70’s like the Reds and Dodgers, so there wasn’t the same rivalry. 5-6 was more the norm. Cleveland was turrrrible for the entire 1970’s and 1980’s with two exceptions: on the 1987 Sports Illustrated cover that touted them as the best team in the AL (that was April; they went 61-101) and in Major League (1989). 

The Tigers were marginally better, taking the division in ’73 and ’87 and winning it all in 1984. (Never since; a drought longer than the Mets’! Yes!) But there was never a close pennant race between these two clubs until 2013, when Detroit eked out a 1-game title. Of course, Cleveland got dispatched in a 1-game WC and the Tigers lost to the Red Sox in the ALCS . . . who went on to win the Series . . . again . . . neat. 

This year the Tigers blew a midseason division (and league) lead that was miles and miles long, and the Guardians took the AL Central by a game. 

Detroit took Game 1 yesterday. Game 2 starts now. Go. 

4 Cubs vs 5 Padres 

Oh, man. Here is all you need to know. The Cubs had last won in 1908 when they squared off against the upstart Padres in the National League Championship Series 1984. The Cubbies were the best team in the NL that year, winning 96 games and making believers of the Northsiders. They won Game 1 of the best of-five against San Diego, 13-0. Took Game 2 as well. Off to the west coast, where the Pad Squad took Games 3 and 4 – the latter on a 9th inning homer. 

In the deciding Game 5, the Cubs were up 3-2 in the bottom of the 7th with ’84 Cy Young winner Rick Sutcliffe on the hill. (Sutcliffe had been shipped out by Cleveland early in the season after posting a 4-5, 5.15 numbers, only to go 16-1, 2.69. Oh, the Tribe.) 

With a man on, a grounder as routine as it gets went to the normally sure-handed Cubs 1B Leon Durham. (Durham was a 2e9 in Strat-o-matic that year. Very solid.) 

It went like this.

   

Should’ve been handled, cost them the lead. Then Sutcliffe imploded (single/double/single) and that was that. Drought extended. 

This is the first postseason match-up between these two clubs since. Giddyup.

So there is baseball life after seeing your favorite team collapse from playoff shoo-in to afterthought. 

Still sucks. 

Monday Morning Motivation

May this week bring you a moment or several that approach Shane Lowry's Sunday evening. The burly Irishman guaranteed Europe's retention of the Ryder Cup with a birdie on the 18th hole at Bethpage Black Golf Course in Farmingdale, NY to earn a draw against American Russell Henley. Catharsis on a world stage. Maybe yours won't be as dramatic, but I wish it for you regardless.

Dorks, Dipshits, and Losers: Better Know Your Government

It's easy in the midst of the maelstrom of fuckery and norm-breaking that abounds to view the administration as some sort of all-powerful menace, inexorably grinding the country down through its might and single-minded purpose. When that happens, I think it's vitally important to remind ourselves that nothing this administration seeks is inevitable, and a large reason for that is the fact that it's made up of a coterie of morons, grifters, and racist true believers, led by the most corrupt yet incompetent weeble of them all.

You've likely heard some variation of this from me - and you likely will again - but I stand by my conviction that Tim Walz was on the right track when he relentlessly called the GOP goon squad weird. And I remain angry that the centrist Democratic consultants neutered him and moved away from that messaging. It was both accurate and successful in bursting the bubble of authority that surrounded Trump and his minions.

So we come here today to do a bit more bubble-bursting, offering you a practical guide to the various shitbirds that roost in Washington. David Roth, a far better writer than I, framed these folks this way: "These are clowns, factory seconds, prissy sadistic losers, and the clock is ticking. They know as much. They also really mean it."

I think there are three primary classifications of Trumpian sycophants: dorks, dipshits, and losers. The first are socially awkward and painfully aware of it even as they try too hard to compensate for it. The dipshits are just really fucking dumb. And the losers, they're desperate for approval, and willing to do just about anything to get it.

Herewith a definitive cataloguing of various satellites orbiting our corpulent and venal wannabe dictator:

Pam Bondi is dipshit with dingus tendencies. She's smart on paper - law degree, Attorney General of a major state - but her Department of Justice is marked by basic mistakes, shitty legal arguments, and terrible writing, and she's been caught in more lies than John Lovitz's Tommy Flanagan.

JD Vance is charisma-free dork, a striver who's as likely to leave his fly unzipped as he is to break a trophy while trying to pick it up.

Vice President JD Vance drops Ohio State's national championship trophy at White House event
byu/ILikeTuwtles1991 inCFB

Stephen Miller is a malicious loser. I'm going to relish his eventual perp walk the most. Hateful, petulant, and cruel is no way to go through life. Judging by videos from his high school days and stories from his time as a Congressional aide, he's always been this way. Now he's got the ear of the world's most powerful person.

Kash Patel is a textbook dipshit. Just look at this clown.

Howard Lutnick and Steve Witkoff are dorkshits, a mishmash of Messrs. Bean and Magoo. Blithely stumbling their way around the world spreading misunderstanding, misreading situations, drawing inaccurate conclusions and generally making America the world's worst dinner guest.

Pete Hegseth is a dipshit with good hair. A bumbling drunken chucklefuck who's failed his way from one gig to another because he's conventionally handsome and the President* thought he looked good on television. 

RFK Jr. is also a dipshit, and much like Hegseth, though his primary advantage is having won the Lucky Sperm lottery, even as he's tried and tried and tried to piss away America's long-standing affection for his family. While I think Miller's aims are more dangerous, Kennedy is the member of this troupe of turds most likely to get us killed.

Tulsi Gabbard is a crazy person who's convinced that she knows more than everyone else. I guess that makes her a dipshit.

Marco Rubio is a self-loathing loser. He's the Reek of the administration, castrated, flayed, humiliated and continuing to come back for more.

Laura Loomer is a raging dipshit, a racist moron who's somehow wormed her way into the inner circle through sheer force of anti-Muslim, anti-black wrongness.

Jesus, Lord in Heaven take a look at that list of scoundrels and know that it isn't even complete. We didn't even get to Congress, where we could talk about Lindsay Graham (loser), Mike Johnson (obsequious dork), Nancy Mace (dipshit), et al.

I think we need a bit of a cleanse. Here's just the thing. Compare and contrast that retinue of rottenness with Curtis Evans.

This dude is a 65 year-old Marine Corps veteran and progressive activist. The photo above was taken at a protest near an ICE facility outside Chicago. The smoke visible in the image is tear gas. According to the linked article, Evans' said his Marine training kicked in as the smoke built up around him and he managed to tamp down his body's natural flight reaction. From the piece, "The Marine veteran plans to go back to the Broadview facility to join more future protests. He said that even with the clash, he doesn’t fear other American citizens. And if they fire more tear gas and pepper balls? “Pain only hurts,” Evans said."

Badass, this guy. Be like him, not like the prissy sadistic losers above.

Family Truckster!

Some lunatic genius in Alberta, Canada took a 1989 Ford LTD Crown Victoria Wagon and turned it into a Family Truckster.

Predictably, it's up for auction at BringaTrailer and it closes today.  I have no idea what the right number is for this monstrosity beauty but I will not be surprised if FoGTB DB wins it.

via GIPHY

A few other choice auctions that are within reach and end today include a 1990 300ZX Twin Turbo for Mark, a 1974 Fiat Jolly for our man at the beach, a very cheap and very shady 2014 Jaguar F-Type right here in NJ for rob, a 2004 VW R32 for rob's kid, a Laguna Blue (!!) 2001 BMW M Roadster in Acton, MA that Squeaky needs to buy right now (even the dreaded spot welds in the trunk look good), an Assuan Brown 1982 Volkswagen Westfalia with striped (not Boogie Woogie, sigh) fabric seats for rootsy, a Yellow Mist 1965 Mercury Comet Caliente Convertible for Whit, a remarkably crisp 1973 TR6 for Mr. KQ, and a 1972 350SL for Marls.

More Beast Food, alternatively titled "Trump has more housecleaning to do"

The Eastern District of Virginia is a district within the federal court system with courthouses in Alexandria, Newport News, Norfolk, and Richmond.  DJ Trump nominated Erik Siebert to be the US attorney for the Eastern District in May of 2025.  Shortly thereafter, Siebert launched an investigation into New York Attorney General Letitia James--you may remember her from the fraud case against Trump that resulted in a $450 million verdict--but he was unable to find any wrongdoing.  Naturally, Trump pressured Siebert to press charges against her anyway.  Trump opined that "It looks to me like she is very guilty of something, but I really don't know."  That's the leader of the free world, by the way.

Shortly thereafter, Trump decided to fire him but Siebert withdrew his nomination before he could be fired.  When explaining why he wanted to fire Siebert, Trump said "When I saw that he got approved by those two men, I said, pull it, because he can't be any good.  When I learned that they voted for him, I said, I don't really want him."  So it had nothing to do with Letitia James.

"Those two men" are Senators Tim Kaine and Mark Warner.  I know this because Trump later bleated on Truth Social "Today I withdrew the Nomination of Erik Siebert as U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia, when I was informed that he received the UNUSUALLY STRONG support of the two absolutely terrible, sleazebag Democrat Senators, from the Great State of Virginia. Next time let him go in as a Democrat, not a Republican."

This makes sense to me.  But this also means Trump has a lot of housecleaning to do because Kaine and Warner voted for a bunch of other people Trump nominated.  Like Marco Rubio, Doug Burgum, Scott Bessent, John Ratcliffe, and Sean Duffy (really?).  He better get to work replacing those untrustworthy RINOS!  Unless, of course, he really wanted to fire Siebert because Siebert wouldn't press charges against James.  But Trump couldn't really be that corrupt and petty, could he?

via GIPHY

Feeding The Beast

American society continues a headlong march toward a performative nadir where nothing occurs that’s so terrible that it can’t be made worse. Tragic as the killing of conservative activist Charlie Kirk was, it prompted an even more dispiriting response: excessive praise and punishment among the commentariat; elevation of a documented shit-stirring influencer to martyr status; further crankiness and middle fingers between right and left. 

Facts and truth took hits in the immediate aftermath of Kirk’s assassination, as you knew they would, because reporting takes time, and ideology abhors a vacuum. Kirk supporters wanted to push a narrative of who and what the shooter must represent before he was apprehended or even identified. Once it became clear that the alleged killer didn’t quite fit the desired profile, it required more work and massaging, which continues apace. 

In the days since Kirk’s death, he’s been hailed by conservatives as a patriot, a visionary, a champion of free speech, a good Christian, a role model. President Trump called him “a great guy from top to bottom” and referred to him as “even Legendary.” Sen. Ted Cruz tweeted an illustration of Kirk being hugged by Jesus. FBI director Kash Patel ended a press briefing on the investigation with, “Rest now, brother. We have the watch and I’ll see you in Valhalla,” a peculiar bit of macho, military-tinged posturing, given that neither of them served in the armed forces. Vice President J.D. Vance provided Air Force Two to transport Kirk’s family after his death and hosted Kirk’s podcast. 

Meanwhile, critics have been equally quick to condemn Kirk for his views on numerous topics such as civil rights, immigration, gun violence and affirmative action. Dozens of people have been suspended or fired from jobs for insensitive remarks and social media posts that offered no sympathy for his passing and even celebrated his death, though in some cases people were reprimanded or terminated for merely highlighting Kirk’s statements and the period in which we live. [We commend to your attention this typically spot-on piece from Ta-Nehisi Coates on Kirk.]

For instance, veteran MSNBC political commentator Matthew Dowd, a man who has worked with both Republicans and Democrats, was asked about the current political climate. He responded that Kirk “has been one of the most divisive, especially divisive younger figures in this, who is constantly sort of pushing this sort of hate speech or sort of aimed at certain groups. … Hateful thoughts lead to hateful words” which then “lead to hateful actions. … I think that’s the environment we are in. You can’t stop with these sort of awful thoughts you have and then saying these awful words and not expect awful actions to take place.” MSNBC dropped him like a hot rock, even after he attempted to clarify his remarks and apologized for the tone. 

Delta, United Airlines and American Airlines sanctioned pilots who they said posted inappropriate comments about Kirk’s death. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy said they should be fired. A Secret Service agent was placed on administrative leave and his security clearance revoked after he posted: “If you are Mourning this guy … delete me. He spewed hate and racism on his show.” Defense Secretary (or War Secretary, if you prefer) Pete Hegseth instructed staff to identify service members and those associated with the Pentagon who have mocked or condoned the killing online. A Wisconsin teacher posted that she disagreed with Kirk’s stance that gun deaths are worth it for the Second Amendment. The local Congressman threatened to revoke all Federal funding for the town unless the situation was “rectified” immediately. Teachers in Virginia and Texas risk having their certifications pulled for “inappropriate” remarks about Kirk’s death, though it’s unclear what qualifies. ABC's parent company shelved Jimmy Kimmel's late-night talk show indefinitely after right-wing critics took issue with his remarks and the FCC threatened action. 

This smarmy knob

Kimmel didn't criticize Kirk himself, but said in a monologue, “We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them, and doing everything they can to score political points from it.” FCC chair Brendan Carr, a Trump appointee, said on a podcast, "... We can do this the easy way or the hard way. These companies can find ways to change conduct and take action, frankly, on Kimmel, or there’s going to be additional work for the FCC ahead.” 

Look, teachers and those with public platforms should be judicious, if not steer clear, when discussing hot-button topics. Private employers absolutely have the right to sanction or fire employees if their actions or social media presence are an affront to either the boss or the business. But this present Kirkification feels more like a loyalty test or a check on who gets to say what, disguised as a call for civility and respectful discourse. 

The Disruptor-in-Chief continues to bang the drum that the “radical left” is responsible for the violence and what he called “the terrorism that we’re seeing in our country today.” He conveniently omits the shooting and killing of Minnesota Democratic legislators in June or the home attack against former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s husband, plus the fact that neither Thomas Crooks, the 20-year-old who attempted to assassinate him in July, or Tyler Robinson, Kirk’s alleged killer, fall short of any standard of supposedly radicalized leftists. Trump and Vance have vowed to go after liberal and left-leaning institutions that they say promote and fund violence, with Kirk’s death as cover. 

As to the calls for civility and respectful discourse, I’m old enough to remember a certain African-American occupant of the White House and his family were frequently subject to vile and racist rhetoric, often dressed up as simple political opposition. Adversaries cloaked themselves in Gadsden flags and seized on Jefferson’s quote: “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” (never mind that the quote is often taken out of context and employed to the user’s convenience) In other words, violence toward *my* stated goal is justified, but violence toward *your* goal is unacceptable. Substitute “words and actions” for “violence” in the previous sentence, and that pretty much describes our politics, if not our society. Magical time to be alive, ain’t it?

Gheorghasbord: Spanning the Globe

In which I chronicle various oddities in an increasingly futile effort to block out the immensely insane fuckery loosed upon the land.

Did you know that Phil Hartman was an accomplished album cover designer? Neither did I. Freelance arts writer Conor Herbert recently wrote a detailed piece examining Hartman's pre-fame, indeed pre-comedy work as a graphic designer. Hartman designed more than 40 covers, including this one from Poco.

In news of an entirely different sort, connected to Hartman only via Canada, here's a headline you might enjoy:

Man arrested for driving toy Barbie Jeep on northern B.C. street

It was 9:00 am in Prince George, British Columbia on Friday, September 8, and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were in no mood for shenanigans. When they got word of a grown-ass man driving down the road in a pink Barbie Jeep, they swung into action.

“While it might seem to some to be an inefficient use of police time to pull over a driver in a toy car, the risk the driver was creating to other motorists on the road who were forced to go around him, coupled with the risk to himself as other drivers are not in the habit of looking for toy cars on the busy road, was enough to warrant police attention.”

Dudley Do-Right, on the case.

And finally, a brief and entirely inadequate appreciation of the end of an era. Last week, Ray Hudson announced his retirement from broadcasting, ending more than 50 years in soccer as a player, coach, and one of the all-time greats in the booth. We celebrated him at least once, which isn't nearly enough for one of the singular voices in the sport.

If you've got a few minutes, give this compilation of Hudson's calls a listen. It'll perk you right up. Magisterial!