Friday, July 03, 2026

YOLO SCOTUS

This year's Supreme Court term ended with a string of bangers, beginning with Louisiana v. Callais where the Court held that partisan gerrymandering is Constitutionally acceptable because "vast social change has occurred throughout the country and particularly in the South, which have made great strides in ending entrenched racial discrimination," cresting with Mullin v. Doe where the Court held that the Trump administration did not act from racial bias when it revoked TPS status for all covered Haitians even though the Court admitted that President Trump "broadly denigrate[d] ... Haiti ... as [a] hellish place[] in which to live" and made "some statements malign[ing] Haitians who have come to the United States," and culminating in Trump v. Barbara where the Court said that the 14th Amendment says what it says (as they said 128 years ago) so people born here are citizens but people who read cases for a living are still nervous.  Does that all make sense?  No?  Let me explain, or at least sum up. 

As I said here several times before, the Constitution says whatever five out of nine middle-aged-to-elderly judges think it says.  People don't like that, so SCOTUS typically, or at least used to, coalesce around an opinion that all nine would sign for majorly important Constitutional issues.  Cases like Brown v. Board of Education, Loving v. Virginia, US v. Nixon, Trump v. Anderson.  For whatever reason that didn't happen this term--everyone went all YOLO and did whatever the hell they want.  If you're interested in deep analyses go read David French in NYT or any of the myriad articles on The Bulwark and The Atlantic.  If you prefer something more passive but still insightful you can watch this.  I'm keeping it Gheorghe.

Callais will make your head spin.  Writing for the majority, Justice Alito said that states may draw congressional districts on a partisan basis without running afoul of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 despite holding in 2019 that political gerrymanders "present a 'political question' and [are thus] nonjusticiable—outside the courts' competence and therefore beyond the courts’ jurisdiction."  And they allowed Louisiana to implement their new congressional map immediately even though mail-in voting had already started and their 2007 decision in Purcell v. Gonzalez says you can't do that.  Fortunately, racial gerrymanders are still impermissible, but race is, of course, a proxy for party alignment.  There is one Black Republican senator (Tim Scott) and he is only the fourth ever.  Two of the other three (Hiram Rhodes Revels and Blanche K. Bruce) served in the 1870s back when the GOP was the party of Lincoln and the third (Edward Brooke) served on behalf of Massachusetts from 1967-1979.  According to Gemini, "There are 61 Black members serving in the U.S. House of Representatives, including two Delegates. This figure includes 57 Democrats and 4 Republicans." So if you see a Black legislator on TV, chances are greater than 90% that they're a Democrat.  And when you dilute the Democratic vote there's a good chance you're also diluting the Black vote.

Despite all that, Justice Alito remarkably thinks racism isn't that big of a deal in federal elections anymore.  Or maybe he's just racist, I don't know.  What I do know is that this Court has torn down the Voting Rights Act starting with Shelby County v. Holder in 2013 and I think their mission is complete.  I'll let you form your own views on the motivations.

via GIPHY

Justice Alito continued to be remarkable in Mullin v. Doe, a case involving the withdrawal of Temporary Protected Status for Haitians.  This withdrawal required two things in order to be Constitutional.  First, the relevant statute required the Department of Homeland Security's Secretary to make a "determination" that conditions in Haiti no longer satisfy the statutory requirements supporting TPS.  Second, don't be racist.  I think the administration failed at both but they won because reasons.

The "determination" aspect required Kristi Noem to do some stuff that she didn't do but Alito just waived his hands at it, claiming that the statute doesn't allow courts to review the determination.  This is horseshit.  Plaintiffs weren't asking for a review of the determination's conclusion, they were asking for a review of whether Noem followed the process required to form a proper determination.  Even more ridiculous: Alito tacitly admitted that Donald Trump and Kristi Noem publicly expressed racist views towards Haitians but concluded that their statements weren't "overtly racial, and in substance all expressed policy views that could rest on race-neutral justifications."  I guess thinly veiled racism is ok?  Racism covered up by nothing more than two pasties is just fine?  Justice Kagan called bullshit on this horseshit and spelled out some of the slurs.  I won't repeat them but you can see them on page 46 of the PDF.

I don't know how to reconcile Alito's statement that racism isn't a problem anymore in Callais with his rebuke of Trump's words in Mullin ("poverty and deprivation are no reflection on character, and there is no justification for denigrating the character of Haitians who suffer from and bear no responsibility for their country’s ills").  Or to be more succinct, how is racism a non-issue when the President of the United States says racist stuff?

via GIPHY

There were other cases I didn't like this term but they don't surprise me.  Brett Kavanaugh, SCOTUS's most famous girls' basketball coach, took pen in hand for West Virginia v. B.P.J., holding that West Virginia may prohibit transgender girls from playing in girls' sports leagues.  This isn't a great outcome for transgender girls but it keeps the issue with the states and that's pretty typical for a court of six Republican appointees (or at least it was back on Earth 1.0 before Trump).  Situations likely exist where transgender girls should be allowed on girls' teams (like when the girl in question used puberty blockers before puberty) but no one wants SCOTUS making those rules.  Let local leagues figure it out.  If you're looking for a silver lining, Justice Kavanaugh applied the "intermediate scrutiny" standard of review and that's good, especially for future cases involving more existential transgender issues.

It also comes as no surprise that Chief Justice Roberts wrote Trump v. Slaughter and Trump v. Cook.  Both involve separation of powers principles and a conservative hobby horse called the "unitary executive theory" which holds that the President has control over all Executive branch officials, allowing him to fire any of them at his pleasure.  If you want to learn more about the unitary executive theory (or fall asleep) you can read this (I had to read it in law school and I don't recommend it).  C.J. Roberts is a big fan, given his Reagan/Bush 41/Bush 43 origin story, so he and the five other Republican appointees decided to expand the President's power, allowing him to fire officials from independent agencies.  SCOTUS said the President couldn't do this 90 years ago in Humphrey's Executor v. United States but hey, what's precedent and stare decisis when you have a two-thirds majority on the Court!  To put a fine point on it, Roberts wrote in Slaughter "If anything more is left of Humphrey’s, we overrule it." (Emphasis in original).  Importantly, Roberts wrote in Cook that this does not apply to governors of the Federal Reserve.  I don't know why and neither does Roberts or anyone else on the Supreme Court, aside from the need "for the stability and success of the U.S. and world economies."  So the unitary executive is all well and good so long as it doesn't play with the Justices' money.   

Trump is therefore free to destabilize everything else.  The silver lining here is that it's now easier to undo almost all of Trump's agency appointments in the future (assuming we ever have another fair and free election and a Democrat wins).  But as with Calais and Mullin, there are some intellectual inconsistencies.

My favorite recent case is Trump v. Barbara where six Justices held that the 14th Amendment provides birthright citizenship.  This should've been a really short opinion because this issue was decided in 1898 in United States v. Wong Kim Ark.  At the oral argument, Justice Kavanaugh asked counsel for Barbara "if we did agree with you on Wong Kim Ark, that could be just a short opinion, right, that says the better reading is Respondents' reading, government doesn't ask us to overrule, affirmed?"  And that approach makes sense.  There are many different ways to interpret the law, but this Court loves originalism which is where the Justices follow what the statute's authors intended when they wrote the law.  As a result they treat the Constitution like stone tablets handed down by God and try to divine its meaning through blood sacrifice and other ritualistic undertakings.  Helpfully, Wong Kim Ark was decided only 30 years after the 14th Amendment was ratified so the Justices interpreting it knew exactly what its authors intended.  Originalism!  Just do what those guys did and knock off early.

As a practical matter, we all learned of the Constitutional guarantee of birthright citizenship in middle school, so again, open and shut.  I never heard anyone question it until we put this dildo back in the White House.

via GIPHY

The opinion is 6-3 in favor of birthright citizenship, but only five Justices based that decision on the 14th Amendment.  Kavanaugh invalided Trump's executive order in light of 8 U.S.C. §1401(a), a federal statute that implements the 14th Amendment to provide birthright citizenship.  Remarkably (I can't stop using that word!), Kavanaugh thinks that Wong Kim Ark is good law but still would've upheld the executive order under the 14th Amendment despite what he said at oral argument.  This means that only five justices think the 14th Amendment provides birthright citizenship--with one changed vote it could be taken away by a mere act of Congress (i.e., revoking 8 U.S.C. §1401(a)).  So if one of the  septuagenarians in the majority (Roberts or Sotomayor) keel over today and Trump puts Jeanine Pirro on the Court, birthright citizenship is over.  That's bonkers.

The dissents are mostly upset about the practice of "birth tourism," where foreigners travel to the US to give birth so their child will be a citizen.  I can see why this would grind a racist's gears but Gorsuch, this fucking guy.  

Here's what he had to say:

Besides addressing temporary visitors, the order also denies the benefits of citizenship to children born in this country to parents who make their permanent home here, but do so in defiance of federal immigration laws. The government insists that aspect of the order can survive any possible legal challenge, too, because individuals can secure domicile in this country only if they do so in compliance with federal law. 
About that, however, I harbor doubts. Perhaps Wong Kim Ark does not squarely foreclose the government’s position. After all, that case addressed a child born to parents who lawfully resided in this country. Still, I wonder: Is a child born here to parents who have long chosen to make this Nation their permanent home not a citizen under the Fourteenth Amendment solely because his parents’ presence violates statutory law? If those parents are not domiciled here, then where are they domiciled? And if the answer is nowhere, how can we reconcile that conclusion with this Court’s longstanding recognition that every person is domiciled somewhere? See Desmare v. United States, 93 U.S. 605, 610 (1877). Because the executive order is not facially invalid, these questions may not be properly before us. But their answers are undeniably important to a Nation committed to a view of citizenship open to all children born here to parents who can call this country their home.

Now is exactly the time to address this question Neil.  Everyone else did!  You should too.

How do I reconcile all this?  Easy.  The Republican appointees have interpreted Justice Robert Jackson's maxim "We are not final because we are infallible, but we are infallible only because we are final" as a call to YOLO instead of to humility, compromise and order.  They have no fucks to give.  Which I guess is a classic Republican thing.  Happy Fourth!

Thursday, July 02, 2026

A Departure, Pre-Independence Day

There's a local mercantile in my little town that I frequent nearly daily. Not because I'm addicted to shopping, but because they have dog treats behind the counter, and my hound knows this. So she and I usually go into Brick and Mortar on our midday walk.

The store stocks a range of products from  fairly high-end casual clothing (think Filson, Howler, Pendleton, etc) and shoes (Blundstone, Birkenstock) to amusing bric a brac, booze accessories, books (they stock JoJo's book, for example), and locally-themed odds and ends. 

On our most recent trip, I saw this t-shirt:


For the uninitiated, that's a reference to Joe Diffie's 1993 hit, "John Deere Green", about a young man who painted the town's water tower with the words Billy Bob Loves Charlene in bright green. It's a prime example of the country story genre, and I love it unironically. 


Naturally, thinking about that song sparked memories of several more, some similar in their storytelling, others in their tonality. So on this Independence Day Eve Eve, a brief tour of my brain, country and western version.


Tuesday, June 30, 2026

Better Late than Never

I'm late to the party on Slow Horses, but better late than never.  If you subscribe to AppleTV and haven't watched, it'd be a lot cooler if you did.

Based on the Slough House series of novels by Mick "don't call me Gil Scott" Herron, the show follows the adventures of a small group of MI5 agents from London's Slough House station.  Unlike a typical spy series where agents are practically superheroes, Slough House is a land of misfit toys nicknamed the "Slow Horses," hence the show's title.  All these agents have at least one fatal flaw that prevents them from being real MI5 field agents, so when they do try to solve case or catch a criminal they fuck it up and sometimes hilarity ensues.  It's a proper spy show though, so sometimes there's tragedy instead of hilarity.  People die.

The Slow Horses are captained by Jackson Lamb, a legitimately bad-assed field agent, at least when the spirit moves him to crawl out of the bottle and off the sofa.  Gary Oldman is amazing as Lamb, playing him as a cross between Roy Kent, Perry Cox, and Roger Sterling.  

Only gassier.

Other great quips include "You're about as useful as a paper condom" and, to a recovering alcoholic, "You wouldn't have lost him if he was a bottle of gin."  Each season is only six episodes, each of which is about 45 minutes long, so it isn't as much of a commitment as trying to watch Lost.  Give it a go!

Monday, June 29, 2026

All You Fascists Are Bound to Lose

Bullies famously dislike it when their targets fight back. Let's start the week with a clever bit of wordplay from a German politician that landed like a hammer blow.

Kathi Gebel is a 29 year-old member of Germany's Left Party. She won a seat in the Bundestag in 2025. In March, she was speaking during open debate when right-wing AfD legislator (and possible Nazi) Martin Reichert persisted in interrupting her.  

Gebel responded thusly:

Priceless, both the look on Reichert's face after Gebel's shot lands and the reaction of the other members of the Bundestag. I suspect this is one bully who'll pick a different target next time.

Friday, June 26, 2026

Protection Racket: NCAA Edition

Amid the overall positive vibes of the World Cup, professional championships in hoops and hockey, the U.S. Open and the specter of a Major League Baseball lockout, you might have missed the latest machinations in the ongoing college athletics saga loosely titled, “Won’t Somebody Please Help Us.” 
Widespread disruption and athlete pay and movement have twisted college sports overseers into crullers who have spent the past several years lobbying for Federal government intervention to provide guidelines and limits. Last week, something called the Protect College Sports Act advanced out of a Senate committee and could end up on the Senate floor for a full vote. The bill would provide antitrust protections to the NCAA and major conferences and would help regulate college sports. 

Among its major provisions are limits on transfers and eligibility and a spending cap. It would give conferences the option to pool their television rights and would force schools to commit to preserve their women’s and Olympic sports programs. It would create national standards in areas such as Name, Image and Likeness payments that supersede state measures. 

The original bill was authored by Texas Republican Ted Cruz and Maria Cantwell, a Democrat from Washington. It was amended over the past year and passed the Senate Commerce Committee 19-9 with bipartisan support (brief aside: Pity that bipartisan agreement doesn’t extend to presidential actions and behavior). After the vote, Cantwell blasted the Big Ten and Southeastern conferences, which both oppose the legislation, saying that they’re attempting to “intimidate” members and treating school presidents and athletic directors like puppets. “What we did today is say we’re not going to let the most powerful and richest conferences dictate to the rest of America what’s going to happen to 500,000 athletes,” Cantwell said in the hearing room last Thursday. “They need our help, they asked for it and today, we are giving it.” Cruz said after the committee vote: “I believe this bill is going to pass,” according to Yahoo Sports college football snoop Ross Dellenger. 

The Big Ten and SEC, the two wealthiest conferences by a wide margin thanks to TV contract and media rights money, oppose the legislation for several reasons. They are against the idea of potentially pooling FBS conference media rights and possibly limiting NIL payments to athletes by third parties; they’re also concerned that outside influences, namely mega-dollar private equity groups, could poach high-profile programs and create a super league. In short, the Big Ten and SEC prefer to conduct their own affairs. They aren’t keen on welcoming the ACC or Big 12 into any sort of collective bargaining of TV rights and are mistrustful of advocates who claim that pooling rights would somehow unlock even more money for the collective kitty. 

The two leagues released a joint statement that said Cantwell’s remarks do not “accurately reflect the process.” Meanwhile, Cantwell said that the two leagues’ concerns are “irrational.” The Protect College Sports Act is the second piece of legislation to work its way through Congress. Last year, the SCORE Act came through a House of Representatives committee, backed by the White House and many college sports leaders. It contained several similar provisions to the PCSA, including broader antitrust protection for the NCAA and language that prohibited athletes from being classified as employees. The bill never made it to the House floor for a vote. No Democrat supported it, plenty of Republicans were skeptical, and it was DOA in the Senate, where it needed 60 votes to pass in a chamber where the GOP holds a slim, three-seat advantage. 

But Cruz and Cantwell, among others, think this bill stands a decent chance at passage because of the committee’s bipartisan support and because Senate majority leader John Thune, who voted for the bill in committee, intends to bring it to the floor, Cruz said to Dellenger. Even if it passes the Senate, it would still need to pass the House – an iffy proposition – before it crosses the President’s desk. 

Congressional attention to college athletics, I suspect, is a case of low-hanging fruit that plays well to constituents. Congress has all but abandoned meaningful governance in many areas related to budgeting and oversight and citizens’ well-being. The President and his greasy minions treat the Constitution like a Denny’s menu and the rule of law as a suggestion list. The current majority party enables the Big Orange Guy because they’re terrified of him, while the opposition party has trouble articulating a compelling case for lunch. 

College sports, meanwhile, provides a connection for many regardless of political persuasion, fueled in part by a gauzy nostalgia for an era that was never as fair or innocent as they like to believe, along with the well-worn trope of concern for the welfare of the youngsters. All those inconvenient court rulings in recent years kneecapped the NCAA’s old model and paved the way for labor – uhhh, excuse me, student-athletes – to earn a cut of the billions that they generated and give them greater freedom of movement. Conference realignment mirrors corporate consolidation, and all the upheaval gives a lot of people the shakes. Hence, the NCAA and college leaders’ desire for stability and guidelines, and tough talk and grand gestures from legislators, who wouldn’t give the issues a second look if not for the vast sums of money involved. 

The coming weeks will be interesting, as the bill’s advocates try to whip up support, while the Big Ten and SEC and their allies will attempt to sow doubt in hopes of scuttling the legislation. It’s a peculiar dance, seeing as how representatives from bright red areas and states who often chafe at the idea of government intervention and regulation are being asked to sign on for national standards in this one particular area, while those from bluer locales might find themselves inclined to back away from collective control and to permit conferences and free markets to find their own levels, imperfect as that may be. Now, if we could just get Cruz and Cantwell to take an interest in the War Powers Act or the Emoluments Clause.

Tuesday, June 23, 2026

World Cup Review: Week Two

Weeks are loosely defined during the World Cup, as you can tell. We're two days away from the end of matchday two competition, and we've seen six teams already clinch advancement (USA, baby!) and three nations already guaranteed to head home before the knockouts (Haiti, Türkiye, and Tunisia). 

A ton of great stories remain, though, and we're here to bring them to you.

One might have been forgiven for thinking Cabo Verde's all-time shocker of a draw against Spain was the pinnacle for that tiny West African island nation - the 0-0 draw made a global sensation of 40 year-old goalkeeper Vozinha. But the Blue Sharks aren't done. They scrapped out a pulsating 2-2 draw against powerhouse Uruguay to leave them on the brink of advancing to the Round of 32. Should Uruguay lose to Spain, all Cabo Verde would need to do is draw with Saudi Arabia to move on. A win over the Saudis guarantees them a spot in the next round. 

Which will give us more goats.

Japan are poised to go through after a stirring 2-2 draw with the Netherlands and a 4-0 pasting of Tunisia. A draw or better against Sweden sends them through, and they may well already have done enough to qualify as a third-place team in the event they fall to the Swedes. Host cities hope they get the Japanese fans, for obvious reasons.

DR Congo play their second group match today, taking on Colombia in Guadalajara. Congo stunned heavily favored Portugal, earning a 1-1 draw in their opening match. They'll be supported by one of the most colorful fans in this World Cup.

Michel Kuka Mboladinga, who goes by “Lumumba Vea,” first gained attention at the last year's AFCON, the African continental championships. His nickname means Lumumba Lives, an homage to his nation's first prime minister, Patrice Lumumba. The leader of the Congolese independence movement, Lumumba was tortured and slain by Belgian mercenaries in 1961 and remains a powerful symbol of national pride.

Bit of a departure from the fans and the pageantry for a moment to honor one of the players. Côte d'Ivoire (and RB Leipzig) winger Yan Diomande is just 19 years old. He played high school soccer in the United States before catching the attention of European clubs. He's reportedly caught the interest of Liverpool, and may be joining the Premier League side on a massive transfer this summer.

He's also an older brother who desperately misses his late sister. Diomande penned this moving tribute to her in The Players Tribune last week. After you wipe your eyes, you can root for The Elephants to knock off Curaçao and advance on Thursday.

Okay, we're back. And we're bringing Aussies. The Aussies, they're doing shoeys, or what we might've called 'shooting the boot' back in the day. Oi! Oi! Oi! 

Last, but definitely not least, the Norwegians are doing their level best to plunder our fair land. Here they are overwhelming Times Square in advance of their team's comprehensive 3-1 win over Senegal. 

Monday, June 22, 2026

Are We Moving to California?

Do we like the Bay Area? I think we do, or could at least learn to love it.

Have we harbored a dream, an awesome dream, of creating The Compound? A home for Gheorghies and those who love us? We have, friends. 

Can we scrape together $4m for a place that's already built and optimized for multi-family living? Shit, there are banks we could rob if nothing else.

With all of those questions answered in the affirmative, I think it's time to make a move.

I give you Radish.

20 adults and eight kids currently live in seven units across four buildings in the 14,000 square-foot compound in Oakland. The collective are selling the property after eight years and moving to new digs that better fit their growing families. Phil Levin and his wife Kristen Berman started Radish in 2018, and brought in their friends over time.

Though initially curious about how this sort of communal living would work, Levin says, “It turns out that our friends were not weird,” Levin said. “This is sort of the universal desire, and it wasn't being expressed because it wasn’t on the menu for people.”

Our friends might be weird, to be honest. But the desire is definitely there. Deadline for offers on the property is July 10. Anyone know a lawyer?