It's oft a dangerous game to anoint a new Gheorghie, especially if he's a baseball player, given that demographic's predilection for thinking America needs somehow to be made great again. But we're going to take a few tentative steps in the direction, for reasons that'll soon be obvious.
Cal Raleigh (just a terrific American athlete name) is a catcher for the Seattle Mariners. He grew up rooting for the Boston Red Sox and idolizing Jason Varitek (a plus!) in Cullowhee, North Carolina (hmmm - it's a college town, but it's in the middle of nowhere. could be a push.). Played his college ball at Florida State University (meh, but not disqualifying) and on Cape Cod for the Harwich Mariners (auspicious!).
After being drafted by Seattle in 2018, he made his major league debut in 2021. He's been with the big club ever since. This season, he leads the American League in homeruns with 23. He's second in the circuit in slugging and OPS, behind Aaron Judge's outrageous numbers.
All of this is interesting, even excellent. But we don't bring Cal Raleigh to your attention for his baseballing exploits, at least not entirely. No, we're here to celebrate something else about the M's backstop. You see, Cal Raleigh has a giant rear end. A prodigious posterior. A ridiculous rump.
If you Google "
the big dumper", you're directed to Cal Raleigh's smiling mug, because that's the nickname teammate Jerred Kelenic bestowed upon him in 2020. Get a load of the bobblehead Seattle honored him with earlier this season:
Raleigh's Instagram is all baseball and family, and we're not gonna dig any deeper looking for trouble. We'll just celebrate the man and his giant ass, and hope he's not a fan of an entirely different giant ass.
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