BREAKING NEWS: It's Alright...

...because we're (about to be) Saved by the Bell.

On November 25, NBC's streaming service, Peacock, launches the next generation of television that's so bad it's good. Friends, I give you the trailer for Saved by the Bell 2020.

Zack Morris is now the Governor of California (and married to Kellie Kapowski), and he's implemented a new education reform program that brings underprivileged kids into overprivileged schools to create new opportunities. A.C. Slater returns as a Bayside physical education teacher (the first words of the trailer? His "Hey, Mama" to Elizabeth Berkley's Jesse Spano). Belding is gone, but in his place, the genius comedic stylings of John Michael Higgins, slumming it far from his superb work partnering with Christopher Guest, et al. 

Alas, Dustin Diamond didn't make the cut. I expect him to crash the party at The Max at some point.

I'll be live-tweeting right along with you guys over the Thanksgiving Break.

It's All Right

I've watched waaaaay too much "Saved By the Bell" in my life.  I quickly went from mocking my little sister for watching such a dumb program to going to a college and joining a fraternity that had no cable television.  So we watched TPIR, we watched "Small Wonder," and we watched SBTB.

As such, we drank our college days away to the Zack Attack, watched Jessie get hooked on pills, and stared at Kelly Kapowski doing pretty much anything onscreen.  Age of consent be damned.  We knew what MVEMJSNUP means, we know that AC stands for Albert Clifford, and we know that Tori Spelling was pretty lousy in any role she ever played.  And then we went to see Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls on Opening Night.  Of course we did.

This is pretty much what our fratres talk about when they speak of hideously wasting an amazing resource that was the College's education.  Eh.

The other night Jimmy Fallon did this:

Screech is in the pokey and Lisa is somewhere doing something less cool than this, I guess.

Worth a chuckle for the sadly initiated.  Belding's appearance might just scare me into getting in shape.  And Kelly's still got it.  This definitely makes me think we ought to post some of our old undergrad feature films.  (At another university they would be sex tapes, but nope, not at our old school.)

Enjoy.

Calendar, Marked

Labor Day traditionally signals the end of summer, and the date on which conscientious Americans put away their white bucks and seersucker. Most of us spend it nursing the hangover we earned by celebrating a bonus socially acceptable drinking evening.

This year, though, we'll want to make sure all of our faculties are intact and our schedules are cleared. On September 1, 2014, Lifetime is set to air a tell-all film about what happened behind the scenes on "Saved by the Bell".

"The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story" takes up where Dustin Diamond's autobiography left off, dishing dirt on the sex, drugs, and more sex and drugs enjoyed by the young cast members. (Let's, for a moment, pause to consider the 'unauthorized' portion of the title. Is there any actor in that original cast, with the possible exception of Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who wouldn't kill for the publicity this tell-all will bring him or her? They may not have signed a contract giving permission, but they're damned sure sitting at The Max waiting for the new job offers to come in.)

Clarence and I, for two, will be hunkered down in front of our televisions, popcorn at the ready. We saw "Showgirls" in a theatre. "Unauthorized" has a high bar to clear to surpass Elizabeth Berkley's star turn. But we're willing to give it a chance.

As long as Belding keeps his clothes on.