Happy G:TBday, gheorghies!
I know you are all amid your G:TBday celebration, but I’m hoping you can take time out to drink in this post, as I have formalized the holiday and sent out gifts accordingly.
No, today isn’t Gheorghe Mureșan’s birthday! You know that’s February 14! His birthday revelry supplanted that other 2/14 Hallmark holiday years ago.
Rather, today is
G:TBday, the birthday of Gheorghe: The Blog. The 15th birthday at that. 15 years of taking life less seriously via regularly scheduled dipshittery. Here’s to many more.
Think about it for a moment. 15 years of blogging here. A decade and a half. Rob and I started
Misery Loves Company about seven months before Gheorghe (BG), blogging about the Red Sox and Mets. We gave it a good run, maybe hung around a couple of seasons too long, and shuttered our doors.
After six-and-a-half years. This is 15 years -- without an annual hiatus between trophy hoisting and pitchers and catchers.
How to commemorate such an occasion? To borrow from Otter, I figured that we had to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part, and we’re just the guys to do it.
To that end… some months back I stumbled upon a website, and I now can’t remember how or why. (Thanks,
Dale.) Doesn’t matter. What matters is that I found it, and it enabled me to bring a large dose of the sublimely ridiculous to this corner of the ‘sphere whilst giving back to the roster of G:TB that I love so well.
It’s an auction site, and I decided to get you each a little something. No… hell, no… it’s not
bringatrailer.com, and I definitely didn’t buy you each a car. After I make my fortune, I will, though. (In the meantime, Zman's stellar
car selections for each gheorghie will have to do.)
The site is
Pristine Auction, and it’s a treasure trove of collectibles of varying value. The auctionables are memorabilia, almost all of which have been autographed and certified. Sports items predominate the loot, but there are plenty of music and movie artifacts, as well as sections dedicated to “Fine Art,” “Coins and Bullion,” and “Celebrity.” At this writing this site's items range from $1.00 (Efrem Zimbalist Jr. Signed 8x10 Photo Inscribed "With Very Best Wishes") to $9,870 (
1957-58 Topps #77 Bill Russell rookie card).
 |
| This is currently $735 |
There are countless lots that would be cool to have. There are thousands more that are just ludicrous, and it’s amusing to see that someone’s bidding to acquire them.
I know you’ll spend a few moments checking it out, so I won’t waste time and space describing the site and its time-suck/dollar-suck attributes. Let’s get to the gift-giving!
Before we do, actually, there are a couple of caveats to this ridiculousness. I planned to get each gheorghie on the G:TB masthead a very small something from the site in honor of our 15 years together.
 |
| This is currently $2.10 |
Well, first of all, I happened to expand a tad beyond the official roster to include Squeaky and Shlara, just because I ambled upon auction lots that seemed up their alleys, so to speak. I have been looking for items for Rootsy, the KQ's, and others, but please accept my apologies. This is a work in progress.
Second, some of you got more than one gift. Chalk it up to either disorganization on my part or that I got you something and then found something way more suitable.
Third, along the way “small somethings” became mildly more substantial. I won’t divulge how much so, but let’s just say I later needed to give myself an intervention to break myself of visiting the site every day.
Finally, and most importantly, there is the question of
What the Fuck Do I Do with My G:TBday Gift?
These are meant as silly gestures, but some of this stuff is kind of cool. If it’s crap, feel free to chuck it or shelve it in your garage. Or re-gift it. Or, of course, auction it off yourself and make a buck! If you like it, frame it. Or place it prominently in your home.
Or what I really, really hope you do (in the case of apparel) is wear it!! Framing signed jerseys seems silly to me. Wear it around. It’s a shirt and a conversation piece. I want photos of you with it in a bar. I've been wearing my signed Sonny Jurgensen jersey during Skins games for a few weeks. It worked well until last week. Next up, Gary Clark.
Do whatever you want with it, my friends.
With all of that said, here we go…
(If it's in bold, this gift is currently en route to / has arrived at your respective places of residence.)
Marls
Timmy Marls is a good example of the aforementioned progression from silly to more substantial (and more silly). To start: who doesn’t want a perfectly frameable autographed action shot of a platoon second baseman? The Teufel Shuffle!
Tim Teufel Signed Mets 8x10 Photo Inscribed "86 WSC"
But then I saw the perfect gift to match his Twitter handle. Marls… I expect to see pictures of you wearing this around town whilst strolling your babe. Enjoy.
Dave Kingman Signed Mets Jersey Inscribed "442 HR"
Mark
I’m aware of a handful of Mark’s interests, and they include shoes. But the Michael Jordan Signed Original 1997 Nike Air Jordan 12 Flu Basketball Shoes were $3,150 and rising, so I went another direction. Towards Gainesville. I started with one guy local to my town and snagged this:
Percy Harvin Signed Florida Gators Jersey Inscribed "2x Nat'l Champ"
But then I (think I) remembered that Mark always appreciated the stylings of Corey Brewer, and I dig this particular photo, so what the hell?
Corey Brewer Signed Florida Gators 8x10 Photo
TJ
What else could it be, really?
O.J. Simpson Signed USC Trojans Jersey Inscribed "Heisman 68"
If you don’t take a marker and change the 68 to 69, I’ll be a tad disappointed. And you should wear this, no matter how big or how small on you it is. Keep the fire.
Oh, and speaking of Yacht Rock, you are also getting this.
John Oates Signed "Hall and Oates" 11x14 Photo
Zman
I was all over Buffalo, virtually speaking, but the truth was I had to reach out to Zed and ask him, seemingly randomly, who was his favorite Bill. I got my answer without any delay. The Thurmanator is on his way.
Thurman Thomas Signed Bills Jersey Inscribed "HOF 07"
As a throw-in, you get a little something from the tennis circuit:
Rod Laver Signed 8x10 Photo
TR
This one was a real coup, considering that the item isn’t a regular occurrence on Pristine Auctions. Given the completion of your masterpiece this year, and that 1983 topped (sorry) them all, it feels so right. If you already have this complete set, it will feel so wrong, and I apologize.
1983 Topps Complete Set of (793) Baseball Cards with #498 Wade Boggs RC, #82 Ryne Sandberg, #482 Tony Gwynn
And this was a toss-in, a $3.81 purchase that made me chuckle and keep this pitcher a marketable auction commodity:
Bert Blyleven Signed 2011 Memories & Dreams Magazine
Dave
Dave was one of the most difficult to come up with, and I settled for the signed jersey from the QB of his second favorite team as a kid (we’ll ignore the guy’s supposed coaching career):
Jim Zorn Signed Seahawks Jersey
And then this appeared. And I had to have it. This is a coffee table companion, a drinking game starter, reading material for the john, and just stupidly amusing. The Dude abides:
Jeff Bridges Signed "The Big Lebowski" Full Movie Script
Shlara
For Shlara, some eye candy for her wall. Enjoy.
Jay Wright Signed Villanova Wildcats 16x20 Custom Framed Photo Display
Squeaky
For Squeak, a jersey to wear whilst playing futbol. I hope it fits, though most of these jerseys run pretty large.
Pele Signed Cosmos Jersey
And now for my favorite two gifts…
rob
There are Red Sox items galore on Pristine, most of them vastly overpriced. I wanted to snag him a signed picture of Timmy Wakefield, a frequent subject of blessing and cursing at MLC during our 7-year run there. Alas, I lost out to an avid knuckler collector. Then, I wanted these:
Lot of (2) David Ortiz Signed Game-Used Batting Gloves Inscribed "9/30/16"
$220 was just out of my price range. Man, I would have enjoyed seeing Rob belly up to Tortuga’s next year with those on.
I kept with the team theme when I scooped up this dandy:
Kevin Millar Signed Official 2004 World Series Baseball Inscribed "Cowboy Up"
Pretty cool. But then, one misty morning, like a vision, this gem appeared to me, as if to say, “Say when…”
Val Kilmer Signed "Tombstone" Cowboy Hat Inscribed "I'm Your Huckleberry"
Yes, yes, that’s right. A cowboy hat inscribed by Doc Holliday himself (well, Val Kilmer), “I’m Your Huckleberry.” So good. And so Rob. I battled for it and won it over some other eager bidder, walking over him like a ghost over Johnny Ringo’s grave. Gonna need to have Rob wear this around Loudoun County. Cowboy up, indeed.
And finally, perhaps the very reason I landed at this auction website at all…
Danimal
You had to know this was coming, Dan.
Warren Spahn Signed Baseball
Yes. Free at last. The curse has been lifted. You’re welcome. You’re welcome. And I would actually be amused to no end if you played ball with it out by the creek.
(Back in 2014, Danimal promised to write the post that would explain this gift. Time’s up, Danny!)
* * * * *
So there it is – your G:TBday 15 gift extravaganza.
Oh, fear not, my friends, as I naturally treated myself to a few goodies along the way, including:
Dwight Gooden Signed Mets Jersey
Mike Mills Signed R.E.M. "Document" CD
Pernell Whitaker Signed 8x10 Photo
Kenny Loggins and Jim Messina Signed "Full Sail" Vinyl Album
Davey Johnson Signed 1986 World Series Baseball Inscribed "86 WS Champs"
George Wendt Signed "Cheers" 8x10 Photo
Jordan Reed Signed Redskins Jersey
Gary Clark Signed Redskins Jersey
Sonny Jurgensen Signed Redskins Jersey
Yep, this is all pretty ridiculous. But something struck me yesterday as I sat in my office listening to a nice, if verbose, gentleman of easily 65 years issue the following definitive statement... he said, "You can count the number of truly great people you know personally on one hand."
All goofy, inane, preposterous, tongue-in-cheek, farcical, dipshittery aside, I immediately thought to myself, "He is so wrong. All my gheorghies are truly great, they number way more than five, and that's just my friends that write on a silly little blog." I thought that. I think that. You guys are the best. And let me borrow from Coach Norman Dale.
I love you guys. Here's to 15 more. Happy G:TB Day.
Posts
