A Low-Bar Start, Maybe

I offer advice occasionally. It’s usually confined to “Try the fish tacos,” or “Make left turns at traffic lights during tourist season when possible if you want to limit driving headaches.” 

Sometimes it’s a little weightier. In exchanges with my college-age nephews about navigating campus and everyday life, I suggested as a starting point for words and actions: don’t be a dick. It was partly in jest, and they were amused, but I tried to persuade them of its value. 

It’s simple. It’s easy to remember. Most of us are aware of what’s considered dick-ish behavior, so it’s suppressing an urge or act we already know. There’s no heavy lifting, as inaction is always easier than action. 

Don’t berate a waitress or cashier who’s already overworked and underpaid. Don’t hit ‘send’ with a pithy remark that dunks on someone whose mind you won’t change anyway. Don’t make fun of someone who dresses and looks differently. Don’t speed up to flip off someone who cut you off in traffic. Don’t show off your new whatchamacallit among people who can’t even afford old whatchamacallits. 

I’ve come to think that the notion has even greater value in our increasingly stressed and polarized society. The pandemic and its partners, social isolation and financial anxiety, have extracted real tolls. We’re quicker to criticize and slower to empathize. We’re less likely to engage with folks outside of our tribes and silos, and too often scornful of them when we do. 

DBAD is an entry-level life slogan. For example, What Would Jesus Do entails some thought, conclusions about how he might behave, or biblical knowledge that a person may not possess. DBAD doesn’t require you to be a saint, or even a good person. It might be a building block for charitable or selfless acts. Or not. It’s a baseline for civil behavior, which may be the best we can hope for these days. DBAD might work as a rubber bracelet reminder, a la WWJD or LiveStrong. 

I have no entrepreneurial tendencies, nor the means to execute such things. However, if one or more of you runs with the idea and makes a bunch of money, good on you. If in so doing you want to send a few bucks this way in gratitude, it would be much appreciated. After all, fish tacos ain’t free.