Adopt a Team: Redux

Thanks to Mark's super-sleuthing, we're able to avoid a fairly embarrassing faux pas. Just ignore anything that was posted about adopting a team earlier this year.

We're honoring A Doofus Abroad by dropping a post in his inimitable style, though we'll likely spell everything correctly.

For now, at least, we welcome Fiorentina as our adopted Serie A side. The Gigiliati (lilies, in Italian, and doesn't that fit us perfectly) are currently tied for third in the league table, holding onto Italy's final Champions League spot. As far as we can tell.

Montenegran striker Stevan Jovetic leads Fiorentina with 8 goals, despite only playing in 13 of the club's 18 Serie A matches. We're also partial to Azzuri stalwart Luca Toni, who's scored 6 times in just 9 matches since rejoining La Viola after stints with numerous high-level European clubs. Obviously, given our history, we like him because we can make a Tony! Toni! Toné! reference. Argentine defender Facundo Roncaglia has a fun name to say, too.

Bravo Gigiliati! And piss off, Trevor Mbakwe.

Adopt a Team: 2013

Three times we've adopted college basketball teams as our own, and three times those teams have seen their fortunes wane. We're not statisticians, but we're pretty sure that's a significant trend. So much so that we considered adopting North Carolina or Kentucky this season.

But after careful thought and a lot of discussion, we decided that the opinion of some obscure blog about a team's relative attractiveness probably doesn't have any actual bearing on that team's future performance. So we're pressing ahead. We give you our 2013 adopted team, the Minnesota Golden Gophers.

Aaaaaaaaah!

I confess that this choice is a bit selfish, as I just purchased a snappy maroon and gold Minnesota t-shirt for myself (and similar ones for my wife and kids), and spend several days each month in the Minneapolis/Saint Paul area. But after watching Tubby Smith's kids close out Michigan State on New Year's Eve with an 18-2 run to improve to 13-1, I like them for basketball reasons, too.

The Gophers are led by sophomore Andre Hollins, who dropped 41 on Memphis earlier in the year, and scored 22 against the Spartans. Hollins, who almost went to Harvard, is a bouncy lead guard with top-flight athleticism. He averages 12.2 points and 3.5 assists a game as part of a balanced offensive attack.

Senior forward Rodney Williams is Minnesota's top scorer, getting 13.0 points on 56% shooting. Guard Austin Hollins, son of former NBA great Lionel Hollins averages 10.5 points and 2.3 steals, while Joe Coleman gets 10.2 points and 4.5 boards. 6'8", 245-lb local product Trevor Mbakwe leads the squad in rebounding with 7.2 per game, though his boards and points are significantly down from the previous two seasons as he recovers from a serious knee injury. Finally, all-name addition Maverick Ahanmisi leads the Gophers in three-point shooting, making 43.5% of his attempts from deep. The athletic Gophs are 15th in the nation in steals per game and 22nd in field-goal percentage defense.

All of that's interesting, and everything, but what really sold me on the Gophers is this:

Tubby Smith's new mustache screams leadership, with just enough devil-may-care whatfuckery to give opponents pause. You could see it in Tom Izzo's team down the stretch on New Year's Eve. Though they led deep into the second half, they came unglued in the face of the Tubstache's withering glare.

The Big 10(ish) is the best basketball conference in the country, so our Gophers have a tough task ahead of them. But nobody will relish the thought of traveling to Williams Arena, and Minnesota's an athletic, balanced, and versatile squad with lots of ways to score.

And there's that mustache.

Adopt-a-Team, 2011 Version

When we last checked in on the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers, the suspension of leading scorer Desmond Holloway derailed an otherwise record-setting 2010-11 season in Conway, SC.  The Chants were 24-3 before Holloway's eligibility issues took him out of the lineup, but dropped three of their final seven, falling to UNC Asheville in the Big South Tournament championship game to miss out on their first NCAA Tournament bid.

2011-12 looked like a rebuilding year for Cliff Ellis after Holloway (18.5 ppg) turned pro following his junior season, solid guard Danny Nieman left the team, and seniors Chad Gray (14.6 ppg) and Mike Holmes graduated.  Coastal entered the season having to replace 49.5% of its scoring and 44.8% of its rebounds, and with LSU and Clemson on the early-season schedule, rebuilding seemed the operative word on the Grand Strand.

Cliff Ellis has your rebuilding right here. After earning the Bible Belt's enmity by dusting Covenant and Methodist, Coastal topped LSU, 71-63, on the strength of a 53-34 rebounding edge. The win was the second in as many years over the Bayou Bengals. Coastal then doubled up Spalding (they'll get nothing, and like it), 87-43, before going on the road to face Clemson, a team tabbed by many to be competitive in the ACC.

Coastal spotted the Tigers a 12-point first-half advantage before Chris Gradnigo tipped in his own missed jumper at the buzzer to give the Chanticleers a surprising 60-59 win. Gradnigo and Anthony Raffa (from Sentence of Dave-approved Sea Isle City, NJ) each scored 21 in the upset.  Point guard Kierre Greenwood and forward Sam McLaurin join Gradnigo and Raffa in averaging double figures for the balanced Coastal offense.  The Chants have dominated the glass thus far, averaging 45 rebounds per game to their opponents' 28 behind a starting front line that goes 6'7", 6'8", and 6'11".

Our last adopted squad, the 2009-10 Baby Deacons of Wake Forest, went 7-11 after we anointed them, flaming out in the second round of the NCAA Tournament. We expect much bigger things from Coastal Carolina, a school with which we have significant G:TB familial ties. With only moderately tough opposition (Florida International, College of Charleston, and East Carolina) standing between them and the Big South season, Coastal Carolina has a little bit of a 1978-79 Indiana State look to them, minus the tight shorts, feathered hair, and transcendent superstar.

(Before you get all lathered up, we don't actually believe that last part. But we're pleased to jump on the Chantwagon, nonetheless.)

Adopt-a-Team

We've made a habit here at G:TB of adopting a college basketball team that strikes our fancy. By habit, I mean that we've done it once before. Hey, every healthy addiction starts somewhere. Our little coke/hoops jones may be an every other year kinda thing, but it's nonetheless powerful.

Our previous adopted squad, the 2008-09 Wake Forest Demon Deacons (and isn't that a little ironic) were 13-0 when we anointed them, and finished the season 11-7, losing in the first round of the ACC tournament to Maryland and falling to Cleveland State in the opening round of the NCAA Tournament. So, y'know, we're sorry.

Apologies in advance, then, to Coach Randy Bennett and the Saint Mary's Gaels, G:TB's newly adopted darlings.When we last paid any attention to the plucky pride of Moraga, CA, Omar Samhan was leading St. Mary's to a berth in the 2010 Sweet Sixteen, knocking off Richmond and Villanova in the process. Samhan's shipped off to Lithuania, where he plays for team president Arvydas Sabonis and BC Zalgiris in the Euroleague.
The current Gaels roster doesn't have a player taller than 6'9", and nobody over 6'7" starts. And that's the way we like it. Backcourt tandem Mickey McConnell (15.1, 6.4) and Matthew Dellavedova (13.2, 5.8) average 28.3 points and 12.2 assists per game between them, with McConnell making an eye-popping 47.3% from three point range. 6'6" Rob Jones leads the Gaels in rebounding with 7.6 boards, chipping in 14 points. Supersub Mitchell Young gets a very efficient 1o points (on 64.1% shooting) and 4.5 caroms a game in a mere 18 minutes.
Stat guru KenPom rates the Gaels among the nation's top 10 in terms of offensive efficiency, ranking first in effective field goal percentage (you'll need to look it up). Coach Bennett's young team is 18-3, 6-0 in the Big West, with wins over St. John's and Mississippi State and no-shame losses to BYU, San Diego State, and Vanderbilt. KenPom rates St. Mary's as the 19th-best team in the land. No quibbles from us.

But we don't love the Gaels for any of that stuff. No, you need to go down under the stats and the records to grok our fondness. Beyond even their really cool logo, in fact. Ever since Patty Mills took his talents across the oceans blue from Oz, we've had a thing for St. Mary's. Five members of the team's current roster hail from Australia, with a Lithuanian tossed in for good measure. We love all things Aussie, except vegemite, so St. Mary's fits us like a Bondi Beach wetsuit. G'day Gaels, see you in March.