Self-serving gifts are gifts you will enjoy as much as the recipient. Vacations are great self-serving gifts. For example, I took zwoman to California early in our relationship. We hung out with friends in San Francisco where we ate well and drank deeply, then we went to San Diego where we also ate well and drank deeply and went to a Padres game and the zoo and the beach and had a great time. Tickets to concerts and sporting events are smaller gifts but can be equally self-serving.
At this stage in our lives, vacations often aren't gift-tacular because we have to bring our kids with us and they tend to make things harder than they need to be. And zwoman would rather go to bed early than go to a concert these days.
Up until recently I was still able to rely on some of my lesser but still wonderfully self-serving gifts. But no longer. The last time I gave zwoman some lingerie she held it up and said "What am I going to do this?" I can't blame her, last time I saw myself naked I exclaimed "What the hell happened to me?!" I've started hanging a sheet over the bathroom mirror so I don't accidentally catch a glimpse of myself coming out of the shower. It's like I'm sitting shiva over here.
Similarly, she still uses the gift cards to the waxing salon but not necessarily where I intended. On Monday morning she told me she was going over there and I guess she saw the hopeful expression on my face and tone in my voice when I said "Oh?" because she replied "Don't get excited, they're waxing my mustache." Such is life in our sixth decade.
Perhaps you're in the same boat. You can still find a gift that serves you as much as your loved one. This year I got zwoman a bread maker for Christmas and it paid off tremendously. She really enjoys making bread. I enjoy eating warm, fresh, homemade bread. Everyone wins. And she's been a bakin' fool with this thing, at least three loaves a week. Whole wheat, French, rye, white, gluten-free, you name it she's baked it.
Maybe you and your lady can't take vacations like you used to, or go out like you used to, or fornicate in naughty attire with clean-as-a-whistle delicates like you used to, but you can still eat fresh bread every day. Go get her a bread maker. You'll thank me later.
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20 comments:
Pumpernickel?
the missus was gifted a bread maker back in the teens (of this century, not her teens). she too became an avid dough developer, rolling and kneading almost daily. but, like the roomba before her, or maybe it was after, it too has been put out to pasture, adding to the pile of money spent on nifty appliances that for short-term seemed put to good use, but alas has been lit on fire in the end. we are on what must be our 5th washer & dryer in 18 years. the latest version, purchased literally minutes after seeing my sister's new w&d over our thanksgiving trip to va, is BOTH a washer and dryer. yes, one unit that washes and dries! need some extra space in the laundry room? or...do you or your bride ever proclaim your desire to have 2 washers/dryer's but you don't have the space? well, samsung has a solution for you! despite telling myself i'd never buy another appliance from a company that manufacture's cell phones b/c of a refrigerator that malfunctioned only after a few years (ice maker stopped working and it drove me bonkers) as well as a previous put out on the street WASHER & DRYER to be picked up by anyone who had the motivation and ability to haul it off...here we are again. we're only 2 months in and it has been great per my wife. the extra space is helpful too. but if this thing has the shelf life of its predecessors, i'll probably say nothing and go buy another one.
Hmmm. My wife did make bread this week, but like a cavewoman with an oven. Perhaps I should buy her some lingerie. Or a breadmaker.
i enjoy my own nakedness. walk around naked on the regular. to my wife's (professed) chagrin. i think she secretly loves it. you might not have wanted to know any of this.
solid assumption there rob. can we go back to a time prior to you deciding to share said factoid? if only we could.
I’m naked more often than not when it’s just the missus and me. As God intended. Sorry, Danny Boy.
Geez, Whitney and Rob are just out there flauntin' their bods like they're in a ymca locker room.
The most self-serving gift ever (too much so) was also a Simpsons moment. When Homer gave Marge a bowling ball. Oh, and it had “Homer” engraved on it.
oh vey
Would my wife like a guitar? Maybe she would, especially if it had a custom Rootsminer inlay.
my body looks a lot better than it did 20 years ago. i'm showin' that shit off.
and now for something completely different. whit's leicester host dave's brentford this afternoon if you're looking for some afternoon footy.
My grandmother had a washer/dryer combo machine in the late 70s/early 80s. I doubt it was a Samsung, although we have Samsung laundry equipment and it works reasonably well (although the "it's done" chime is preposterously long).
a breadmaker . . . so late 90s . . . but back in the late 90s zman was ripped, going on wild vacations, attending hip concerts, wearing hot lingerie, and looking at himself naked in the mirror? so he didn't need to give the gift of bread? this is a lot of information for me to process on a friday afternoon.
The side from Leicester is getting pantsed, innit?
pants side gonna pants
Phase 3: Profit?
Teej is thirsty for the onlyfans link.
I'm actually on this awesome food porn site, OnlyFlans - you want the link?
so *that's* where wheelhouse jerry has been!
Aaaaand scene.
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